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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

HORRIBLE APPOINTMENT WITH OBSTETRICIAN (SORRY VERY LONG)

32 replies

loopyredangel · 26/06/2007 20:36

I have had a horrible day. Went to see my consultant first visit since pregnant again. I had massive problems with my pelvis since having my first child, and was advised I would need a c-section the next time I became pregnant. Bearing that and my problems with pelvis in mind we decided to have another baby. Well he lectured me today said I should be fine to have a normal delivery as nothing will happen to my pelvis, and if the baby gets stuck they can simply cut all the ligaments of my symphasis(basically split my pelvis completely) spend 3 weeks in bed with a pillow between my legs and then do lots of walking!!!!! He gave me the option that if I have a c-section there is a chance I can die!!!!!!!!!! NOw I just feel like shit, and feel like I just don't want the baby the now (I feel so bad for saying that). The consultant has not realised what has happened in the past 2 years since having my first DS, and I told him to get my records and read them and look at the x-rays, he said he can but he's not an orthapaedic consultant and wouldn't know what he was looking at. He also said that my pain consultant is only an anaethestist and not an obstetrician and should not be saying I need a c-section!!! I told him he should look at the past 2 years then make his recommendations - all he is worried about and told us so was being hauled through the courts if something goes wrong with c-section - doesn't seem to be bothered I will end up crippled after having a normal delivery though!!! What a *%££" arse!!!!! Well, he said it's okay we can build you back together!!!!!!!!!! I am only 20weeks into my pregnancy and won't be enjoying the rest for fear of what is going to happen to me!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CarGirl · 26/06/2007 20:39

Ask for a 2nd opinion as he clearly wasn't looking out for your best interests????

BetsyBoop · 26/06/2007 21:23

ditto ask for a second opinion - you are entitled to one

I'd even suggest it was jointly with your pain consultant

thirtysomething · 26/06/2007 21:27

You deserve better than this. He should try having a baby! I don't know your story but it sounds like you've been through a lot. Tell your GP or midwife you need a second opinion and try to get something in writing saying you need a c-section. Maybe if you sign a disclaimer beforehand he may be less bothered about legal fall-out! Good luck x

mamama · 26/06/2007 21:33

Second opinion needed imho and a little letter to management detailing poor bedside manner

Toady · 26/06/2007 21:37

refuse to see this consultant again, you do not have to take this bullying which is what it is.

Original poster

loopyredangel · 26/06/2007 22:09

Thanks so much for your support - I just felt I was going insane today - good idea about a joint appointment. Will phone my pain consultant tomorrow, and see what we can do, I went straight to my midwife after this happened and she was not impressed at all! I have so many questions to ask now and the consultant said we will see in when you are 38 weeks pregnant - and that was the end of that!!!!!

OP posts:

Clydesdaleclopper · 27/06/2007 00:02

It's definately worth getting a joint appointment. I was seen by my pain clinic consultant and the obs anaesthetics consultant at the same time. It meant I could ask loads more questions of each of them as some would not have occurred to me seeing them independently. Still haven't decided what to do (I'm 28+2) but it was certainly helpful.

zookeeper · 27/06/2007 00:05

and be sure to take somebody with you and a pen and paper so that you can have all your questions ready to ask and will not be easily bamboozled

estobi1 · 27/06/2007 06:45

definitely get a second opinion - I was terrified of having a consultant like this but mine was great - he simply said well if that was the advice given then as long as you have no problems with it, we will go with that.

If you get a second opinion somebody else, they may well have the same attitude as my consultant. I was all geared up beforehand to pay for a medical opinion of a senior obstetrician in Harley Street to overrule anybody less senior and I know others who have done it and got their c section. However, it sounds like you have got a good midwife and I would ask her or your GP for someone else to refer you to (if they are allowed) to avoid paying if you can. The man sounds awful - did he explain to you why "you could die!!" How many women have caesarians every day and are fine? It sounds as though this man has no bedside manner whatesoever. Try not to worry yourself - use that energy into getting a second opinion.

lulumama · 27/06/2007 08:57

you absolutely must get a second opinion

in very stark terms, there is a risk of death with a c.s, but that is the same for any major surgery...but a properly managed elective section should not be problematic...

as for cutting the ligaments...IIRC, a very outdated and rare procedure, that was done when a woman couldn't have a c.s for cultural reasons, but i might be totally wrong about that !!

anyway , sounds like your consult was not interested in looking after you properly, or liaising with other medics, so get a second opinion.

sorry you have had a hard time

PinkElephant · 27/06/2007 09:07

Crikey!! What has happned to your pelvis? And why an earth would you have the possibility of dying if you have a c-section???

DaisyMOO · 27/06/2007 09:08

I think it sounds as though he wasn't just uninterested in helping you but was actually bullying you. You are absolutely entitled to a second opinion and I would be very surprised if you can't find anyone to agree to a c-section given your medical history. Have you thought about contacting PALS (pateient advice and liaison service)? They should be able to help, as could AIMSwww.aims.org.ukAIMS and if you can bear to, I would encourage you to make a formal complaint about him.

LilRedWG · 27/06/2007 09:12

Second opinion definitely!! I had an elective CS for pelvic problems and although it wasn't what I wanted initially it was definitely the correct decision! When I initially said I didn't want that the midwife pointed out that it would be better for the baby to have a mother who could walk than not. A bit stark, but I know you know what I'm talking about. Pelvic pain is agony and some consultants seem to refuse to see that.

Yes, I was warned I could die, but you are told that with all surgery.

Good luck!

choosyfloosy · 27/06/2007 09:14

Second opinion. Right now.

And if I were you I would write down a very unemotional but accurate record of the meeting (if you can bear to) with all the questions that were left unanswered written down, so that you have something with you when you go to the second consultant. No good expecting the second one to agree with you about the first consultant, but you could at least get answers to the questions raised.

I have to say he sounded appalling but I know nothing of the details.

Here's Dr Foster's Consultant Guide to help you look for others in your area. Can you say which area you are in? MNers might have recommendations. Asking for a specific consultant might help you feel a bit more in control.

PinkElephant · 27/06/2007 11:33

What I would do is look up your NHS Trust details on google and look for the different Consultants under Obstetrics and phone their secretaries and asked how you go about changing consultants - its easily done. Or go to your GP to ask advice who to see - they are usually helpful

diplodocus · 27/06/2007 11:46

Sounds to me like there's some bad blood between the obstetrican and your pain consultant - smells strongly of a clash of egos. I'd certainly get a second opinion.

diplodocus · 27/06/2007 11:58

And yes, Lulumama's right. The procedure he mentioned is extremely outdated. As far as I knoe they only recommend it in situations in developing countries where c sections cannot be performed (c sections are much riskier there, by the way but are still considered preferable if possible). It carries a risk of lifelong mobility problems. I personally would not dream of letting anyone do it to me.

Original poster

loopyredangel · 27/06/2007 12:03

I live in Runcorn, Cheshire and am going to the Countess of Chester. I have just read this article about a lady who had exactly the same problem as me: www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/health/womenfamily.html?in_article_id=389319&in_page_ id=1799

I couldn't walk after having my first child and nothing was done about it until he was 10 months old!!!!
THe lack of support is unbelievable!
THe consultant seems to think I won't suffer any problems after giving birth naturally - after having a 10lb 9.5oz baby and my cervix just would not budge from 5cm after 29.5 hours of labour and several internals and a drip to move things along - he still wouldn't come out so had to have an emergency csection.

OP posts:

Original poster

loopyredangel · 27/06/2007 12:04

I think he should move to Africa, or read the research again or the article I mentioned. I cried reading it because it is virtually a carbon copy of my problem.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 27/06/2007 12:05

I would hope and pray such an excuse for a consultant doesn't move to Africa to butcher more people.

choosyfloosy · 27/06/2007 13:13

Well, the two consultants who show up as having a special interest in pelvic pain at that hospital are Mr Nabil Haddad and Mr James McCormack. Presumably you have already seen one of those? Maybe ask for referral to the other - or another hospital altogether if you think they sound a bit too close.

btw I'm oping not to encourage any comment on whichever one you saw, after previous legal experience on this site!

Original poster

loopyredangel · 27/06/2007 13:43

I haven't seen either of those consultants - are they based at Chester?

OP posts:

choosyfloosy · 27/06/2007 14:19

Almost certainly. They are on a website called www.specialistinfo.com which you can look at but the special interests and locations of consultant only seem to be available if you're regsitered which I am because i work in the nhs.

don't know anything about them otherwise but they ar e obstetricians/gynaes on the website as having a special interest in pelvic pain

hth

choosyfloosy · 27/06/2007 14:20

sorry yes and also on the website as being at countess of chester

lots of other obs/gynaes there but with diff speical interests

several female obs/gynaes if you wd prefer that but if you havne't seen one of these guys i would personally go for them first

Mumpbump · 27/06/2007 14:30

What a tsser! Is he seriously saying to your is that his hospital is so crp that they can't do a c-section without a high risk of it causing your death? I would complain to whoever is in charge of the practice/hospital!

As lulumama says, there is an inherent risk that any major (or indeed minor) op will go wrong, but that's clearly not a reason not to go ahead with a c-section if that is what you want. Cutting all the ligaments in your pelvis sounds much worse tbh. I pulled a ligament and I remember the physio saying that you were much better off breaking a bone than pulling a ligament because they are very difficult to get to heal properly/totally.

Definitely get a second opinion - and complain!!!

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