So I discovered I was pregnant five days ago. I was late and there were loads of signs I only see in retrospect
- eating 500g carrots a day!
- crying at the smallest thing
- sickness/nausea!
- sleeping all the damn time!
My initial response was to be absolutely overjoyed. I want a child. But we all know it isn't that simple.
I'm 37, stable job, have my own house, sadly divorced and probably not over it. I've not had a relationship lasting than 6 months in the five years I've been divorced.
The father is a casual lover of mine. He's lovely and I adore him but I realised when we first hooked up he would never be relationship material ^^. We used contraception.
So I find myself, when I lift my head up from my sick bowl or stop crunching ice cubes, wondering what to do.
I'm either 6 weeks or 10 weeks gone. I had a period in Oct but it was very short which bothered me and I did a test which was negative. There's no doubt now!
When I told him, he predictably freaked out. We have had several rows since then. He is insisting I terminate the pregnancy. He's calmed down a little today and I'm hopefully seeing a midwife later this week.
The more he insists I terminate, the more adamant I am I want to keep the child. But there is a nagging worry at the back of my mind.
He has a son from his previous marriage who lives in Australia. He doesn't want a repeat of the same situation. I get that. I don't expect marriage and happily ever after.
He is of course thinking about him, not me.
I have never been pregnant, and never thought I'd be in this position at my age! I thought by now I'd be sorted and doing the heteronormative thing; marriage and children. Not facing life as an older single mother.
Any and all advice would be welcome