Natural birth vs elective ceasarian questions

[paniccentral]

26+1 with DC1 and conflicted about the best way to give birth.

Not worried at all about pain (famous last words I'm sure!) but very worried about risks of (long-term) injury from pushing. Read quite a bit about recent campaigns over birth injuries, and DM had a stage 3 tear requiring further repair followed by a huge epis in second delivery, 30 years ago and all bodies are different etc but not at all comfortable with that outcome.

Flip flopping between two options:

1. birthing centre as naturally as poss, reassured by wonderful midwife that she and all her colleagues are very "hands on" and chiefly concerned with physical management of perineum to prevent tears, and their stats are only 6% stage 3 tear or worse, BUT 95% stage 1 or 2, largely not needing stitches.

First question - if a tear doesn't need stitches or only needs a couple for a stage 2, does that = return to normal (sex) life, pain free?

2. Her advice has been to reject forceps if it comes to it, and at that stage ask to go for a ceasar instead. Happy to prepare for that but equally if the odds, and I know nobody can tell what the odds are, of going that way are good enough then why not sod the worry and book in for a c-section from the get go?

Have an appt to speak with the consultant obstetrician re planned ceasarian next month and want to be prepared. I guess I want to know why c-sections are considered so "bad" - I know they take longer to recover from, there are risks inherent with surgery and the baby doesn't have the same exposure to antibodies en route out (and it costs the NHS more) - but if the difference is a known quantity "routine" surgery vs nobody knows how a vaginal delivery will go on the day, and worst case is pretty awful, it feels almost like the safer bet?

Are there any other questions I should be asking him? I feel naive and don't want to be judged for asking about this (feel like it's hard IRL to ask other girlfriends etc in case it's "a bad thing", don't know why it should be but feels that way!) but really keen to get the most out of the opportunity.

Saw Kate Middleton's PA at home with her first baby +15 hours since going in with two paracetamol, gas and air on instagram yesterday (looking a bazillion dollars) and thought well if she can do it why would you inflict a six week surgical recovery on yourself... but if only I knew it would be sure to go that way!!!

Hope this isn't too muddled, thanks in advance for any thoughts x

I went for a planned caesarean- although because of complications i wouldn’t have had the option of a natural midwife led birth, it was caesarean or induction with lots of monitoring for me.

My c-section was great, very relaxed and I didn’t find the recovery too bad tbh. I was up and about after a few hours, home a day later and able to walk to the shops within the week. The only thing that really hindered me was that I couldn’t bend down and pick stuff up, so I had to have a few high places I could put baby down (Moses basket on a stand etc)

I won’t advise you either way as it’s a personal choice imo. Personally I would have gone for a midwife-led vaginal birth if I’d had the option, but I really didn’t fancy an induction.

The problem is nobody can tell you what your delivery will be like. It is all statistics and when it comes down to it there are always going to be people having a relatively straightforward birth and others who have a very difficult time both with natural and c-section.

A caesarian is not 'bad'. It is however, major abdominal surgery and comes with its own risks. As does a natural birth.

I think if it's your first baby then try for a natural , simply because the scarring from both my sisters c-sections has caused issues in their following pregnancies .
I had forceps , asked for a c-section Instead but was told baby was too far down to do a c-section easily so it's not always an option ( I would of done anything to avoid forceps) .
The recovery was hard but I would do it all again !

Can’t help with vaginal delivery questions, but I had the choice (eventually!) due to having twins, DT2 was breech. I chose elcs in the end, I felt that it was the safest option for us because there was a threat of delivering DT1 vaginally, and an EMCS for DT2.

It was an amazingly calm experience overall, and I felt completely in control for the most part until DT2 was born struggling to breathe. She was absolutely fine in the end, but I’m so grateful to the army of medical staff who looked after us, and glad I chose a CS because of this.

Recovery was absolutely fine, it was easier than the last 3 months of pregnancy! I was home 2 days later (DTs were slightly prem and that’s why we stayed in for that long) out shopping when they were 5 days old, and back to driving 2 weeks later.

I do sometimes wish I’d had a vaginal delivery, and have been told I cheated giving birth, like I hadn’t done it properly etc, but for me and my babies it was absolutely the best choice, and I’d more than likely have another one if I have any more kids.

Good luck whichever way you decide.

I had natural birth planned and absolutely didn't want forceps. However, I did end up with forecps delivery, episiotomy and stitches. I had a healthy DD, all be it bruised and battered. My birthplan went out of the window. Recovery took a while, but I expect faster than recovering from C-section.

I haven’t had a child yet but when I do I will be having a private elective c section .

Why? I am a control freak and I want to have everything go the way it’s planned .

I’ve done extensive research and have OB Gynae friends and this is their preferred personal approach .

I don’t fancy the long term incontinence risks, risk of tearing, pain , labour - it’s just not for me . And if I couldn’t have my elective I wouldn’t be having a child .

The point is : you have to figure out what you want , what risks you are prepared to take and what you are comfortable with .

I'm having a c section. My first was a forceps delivery and I have permanent damage from it. At the point of forceps it's usually too late for a c section.

A c-section isn't necessarily bad, and I'd rather have a wound in my lower tummy than in my nether regions. They are so well done now (mine was an emergency) that they cut below the bikini line. To be honest, I was that exhausted in the first 6 weeks, I wouldn't have been doing the things they don't allow you to do anyway. I've had a flat stomach when I exercise enough, I breastfed so stomach shrank very quickly.
I watch programmes like One born every minute however and regret that I didn't get a chance to 'experience' pushing my baby out. But I still gave birth and she wouldn't have been healthy if a C-section wasn't performed.
All in all, I'm happy I had a C-section, and if I gave birth again, I would go for a C-section.

I've had three DC. First I had a forceps delivery with stitches, with the second I tore & had stitches, and with the third one I just had a graze. To answer your first question, everything healed well & I was pain free & back to normal within a short time after giving birth. So I suppose I'm trying to say that even if you have tearing & stitches it's perfectly possible for everything to be just fine afterwards.

I had an emcs after a horrifically long labour, it was the exhaustion of the long labour that took more recovering from than the emcs. People who had a straight forward birth recovered a lot quicker than me.
I put no forceps and they were fine with that, it’s a good job I did because if they’d have tried DS wouldn’t be here.
You can still suffer from incontinence after a cs but it’s a lot less likely.
If I have another it will be an elcs.

I haven’t had a caesarean but I did have a natural birth with an epidural and only 2nd degree tear and a graze. Other than a few stingy wees in the first week it was fine and had sex at 5 weeks post partum, absolutley fine, no pain, in fact it was great as we’d hardly done it all through the pregnancy.

Also I could be wrong but by the time forceps are needed I think it may be too late for a caesarean. If the baby is stuck they need to get it out like NOW, not move to an operating theatre, anaesthetic etc. I could be wrong though.

Oh and my aunt (a midwife) said in passing, 'you're lucky now, because you can choose a C-section for the next one as you've already had a c-section'. She never qualified the statement, but my interpretation was that you're bloody lucky you'll never have to experience a vaginal birth. Midwife of 25 years at the time.

Of course people who bare the scars of a vaginal birth will want to convince you that it's the most natural thing in the world etc., but really, knowing what I know now, I'd go for a C-section too if you're allowed to opt for one.

And on a very probably personal note, that may insult some women, partners have commented that I am very 'tight' down there. I don't know, as I said I've never had a natural birth, so I don't know how it affects down there, but men seem surprised. And apologies to anyone this may offend, but it's an adult site, and I just want the OP to have all the information.

Punto1 I'm actually tighter down there post birth, it's one of my damages, it causes issues with sex. I'm not as sensitive now though due to nerve damage.

Well thankfully all my nether regions remain exactly as they were.

Sorry to hear you have issues now.

Well I am far more sensitive down there since giving birth, sex feels better than it ever has before.

See, that’s the thing OP, everyone’s birth experiences are so so different. You have to make a decision that suits you.

What put me off ever having a c section was the recovery. I know women who haven’t been able to lift their babies out of cribs and have had to design pully systems in bed to help them get up. Not ideal with a newbornZ

Random Z sorry

I think you hear a lot of scare stories about vaginal births.

Mine was so straightforward, came out in 3 pushes (first baby!), had 2 stitches for a minor graze.
Everything was back to normal in 1 week.
If I'd had a section I'd have a scar for life and by that point I would probably still not be able to lift the baby.

I think if I'd have needed an instrumental delivery I'd have refused and requested a section though.

Just for clarification, you can lift the baby once you're out of surgery. You're gentler in moving yourself, but your body knows where the injury is, so you don't jump out of the bed. You just naturally mind a wound as you would if you had a stubbed toe, you will automatically protect yourself.
You don't need a pully wheel, you learn a sort of roll motion to get your feet of the ground.
A baby is a small weight, so you can easily lift them and then roll back into bed lol.
The one thing I do remember though was having a cough while still in hospital and they sent a physiotherapist (I think?) down to show me how to sort of wheeze the cough up gradually, rather than violently coughing (I have asthma, so always have a cough).

It is surgery, so there is pain involved, but not the long-term complications I've seen some posters talk about from natural births.

I gave birth a month ago and was terrified of cuts/tears. I had a 2nd degree cut and honestly, it’s really not been that bad. Stung for a few days but healed very quickly and now I barely notice it. Cuts and tears aren’t always the horrific, life altering injuries people make out they are. Most of the time you recover, heal, and it’s fine.

OP the hierarchy of birth if you like is:

1. Straight forward vaginal birth
2. Complicated vaginal delivery with quick recovery
3. Elective section
4. Vaginal delivery with complications (post birth)
5. EMCS
6. EMCS with complications

The thing is, unless you opt for number 3, you don't know which you'll get! And an elective section still comes with risks. It's up to you which risks you are most comfortable.

I also think that we know our own bodies. I knew I wouldn't be able to give birth vaginally without issue. I did hypnobirthing which convinced me differently. And despite doing everything "right" it still went wrong. My pelvis is wrong, DS was in the wrong position, my contractions didn't work effectively.

My gut feeling is to say that a vaginal delivery is very unknown, you could have a wonderful, straightforward, liberating natural birth, or you could get dragged through hell and back with serious birth injuries and every shade of experience in between.

Generally a c section is more predictable HOWEVER, people recover differently. I found my c section to be physically ok (after the first 36 hours). Have you had any previous surgery that would help you gauge how easily you heal from surgery? I know lots of women who struggled to recover from a c section.

Punto you’ve missed the point of my post. Everyone’s experience is different. Your c section recovery is not the same as every other woman. These are experiences actual friends have told me, they’re not lying.