Single and expecting.

[maybabymumma]

I'm expecting with my first and the father is supportive however we are no longer together (not my choice). I live alone a few hours away from family and this pregnancy is a big shock. They are also supportive however they can only do so much as they are so far away. I'm finding it hard as everywhere I go all I can see is pregnant couples or young families. I know it's in my head but I feel like everyone is staring at me wherever I go. Has anyone out there been pregnant alone? And any tips to help me get though it? Also any tips on being a single parent of a newborn. I've definitely never felt more alone in my life.

Thank you x

I cannot fully relate to your situation only because i have family extrememly nearby who have helped me out so much but i know exactly what it is like to be a single parent. I got pregnant at 18 and although the father was around, he left the supportive part little to be desired. He came to both scans, but i went to antenatal classes/all other midwife appointments with my mum as he didnt see the need to be there. I was also into my first year of uni and working part time which i continued with both through pregnancy and after giving birth only through the help of my mum again. I left my partner when my child was 2 and have been a single parent ever since. I don't have a single bad thing to say about having to go at it alone, yes it is hard and yes you will have to make sacrifices to your social life etc, but you dont and wont regret it. And if your ex is supportive all the more better because you will probably have the opportunity to do things for yourself if you share parenting duties which is a privilege i have never had. Several years down the line i am pregnant again and my partner has already bailed out of wanting anything to do with the baby so i'll be going at it alone again. I know what you mean with noticing couples everywhere and feeling like they might look down on you if they knew the situation, i felt alot like that in my first preganancy with being so young and especially going to uni i thought people were looking and judging but in reality nobody is judging you and if they are they have no right too. Pregnancy isnt always about 2 parents in love awaiting the birth of their child like you see in the movies etc, reality is very different and you will make it work and be just as happy as those couples you see. Good luck and congrats :)

Thank you so much for replying. I'm finding this time of year really hard but It really has made me feel lots better to know I'm not the only one who doesn't have the happy couple and baby picture. Thank you xxx

I left my parter when DS was 8 weeks old due to finding out he's been unfaithful a few weeks earlier and during my pregnancy. It wasn't the fact I was alone that got to me most it was letting go of this "family" set up I had created in my head. I moved into temporary living until I could get my own place. It was a long and at times very hard, lonely road. Once that baby of yours is born you won't have time to worry so much and you will be so consumed with your love for them that they are all that will matter. I'm not gonna say you are in for an easy ride because it will be bumpy especially to begin with, with emotions and hormones running wild. But my DS is now 2 years old I'm settled in my new place, happy and expecting baby no 2. Families come in all shapes and sizes whether that's one parent, two parent, foster parent or same sex parents you will be absolutely fine. Good luck with your LO and even during the hard days enjoy them because it goes way too quickly xxxx

Also use family support as much as possible. Never say no to a few hours off. Being a single parent to a newborn o felt guilty a lot letting family have him. In hindsight there was no need we are all human and you 100% deserve some mumma time. Even if it is to take a bath in peace. Xx

I was single, pregnant and living 4 hours drive from family - it is daunting. The father wasn't involved so I went to all the scans and appointments by myself. I felt embarrassed tbh and I avoided telling anyone about the pregnancy for as long as possible. It seems silly now but at the time I felt like I'd messed everything up. My family thought I was foolish to stay in my one bed flat miles away rather than moving before the baby came but it wasn't a problem. There's no reason why you can't do it alone. I didn't find it as hard as I thought I would but I did move back nearer my parents when DS was a year old mainly because they offered to do my childcare for free when I returned to work. That made a massive difference. I would have missed loads of work time when DS was younger due to him being ill otherwise. Not to mention the cost of childcare.

Parenting a new born will be ok. If it's just you and the baby it doesn't matter that your house is a mess. You can cook/clean/shop when you get chance. I watched loads of box sets when DS was a little baby just snuggled on the sofa with him. I slept a lot when he did too. I didn't go to baby groups though but that was because I didn't want to be judged for being single. I honestly think now that no one would have cared or noticed if I had gone. It was all paranoia in my own head. Don't let the anxiety of doing it alone spoil pregnancy or the early months for you. It'll be a lovely time.

Yep I had my DD (now 7yo) on my own and have been since. I know how it feels being pregnant and alone but I know that my friends think that the job I do it pretty awesome (they've told me after a few drinks!). Be proud of yourself and remember that your harshest critic will be yourself. Enjoy it and no one is judging you, they just kind of in awe that you're doing something so amazing.