Feel like I 'fail' at being pregnant-Anyone else feel this?

[21helloworld]

Hi all,

Am currently 12 weeks pregnant and I feel like I haven't done anything right. I only manage about 4 hours sleep at night [and may sleep all day], feel constantly stressed, sometimes too tired to get out of bed let alone do any exercise so may just lay there for hours, stay up too late, spend too much time on the laptop, eat too much sugar, occasionally forget a multivitamin etc etc. Have an iron deficiency too which has left me lightheaded and a bit up in the clouds somedays. I am genuinely trying-I have tried to overhaul my diet but i have found it to be far times harder pregnant than not. My body only wants certain foods, and at certain times.
I just keep hearing about all the problems and defects associated with poor sleep, bad diet, too much stress..I feel overwhelmed and like I am a failure at this pregnancy thing. Has anyone felt like this way or perhaps didn't have a 'great' pregnancy and had a healthy baby?

Hi :) congratulations on your pregnancy!
I’m almost 37 weeks and here’s the honest truth about my whole pregnancy.
I’ve hated it! I’ve suffered with every single crappy pregnancy Synptom going and have been feeling like crap throughout.
Sleep- The first trimester sucks....if your tired in the day then sleep in the day it’s fine. It gets better in the second trimester so make the most of that before the third hits.
Food - eat what you fancy, yes you should at least try to eat a bit healthy but it’s not always that possible, I’ve eaten like shit I won’t lie. I’ve not gained tons of weight don’t have diabetes and so far have a healthy baby growing inside me.
Vitamins - I can’t count how many times I’ve forgotten my tablets the odd one here and there won’t do any harm.

Every pregnancy is different and every woman deals with it differently there is no right or wrong way. Don’t beat yourself up about it. All that matters is baby stays where he/she is cooking away for as long as possible to be as healthy as possible.
Your doing a good job, growing a human is a mammoth task and shouldn’t be under estimated xx

welcome to motherhood, you are experiencing one of the key feeling which will now be with you for life: guilt. Please don't beat yourself up, you're doing the best you can, no mother is perfect and those that say they are lie.

With DD1 (my healthy 9 year old gymnastic addict) i didn't know i was pregnant until 8 weeks and did a tactical firearms course, which included full contact combat.

She turned out perfect.

with dd2 i are stinky cheese and had way too many cups of tea, she too was fine.

congratulations on your pregnancy - you will be fine, be kind to yourself.

I am not the healthiest of eaters ... well I eat veg etc but am slight addicted to sugar.
When I found out I was pregnant ( 3 weeks pregnant ) I had vitamins and made home made healthy souls etc ... by week 8 it was just time to survive.
Felt exhausted ( like I had just had a month long battle with the flu ) and sick all the
Time... so much so I just ate through it and unexpectedly threw up because I couldn’t tell when it was gonna happen the nausea was so constant ... I ate what ever I thought I wasn’t going to throw up some days it was Gerkins and tomatoes most days it was pizza / cheese on toast / cheese with cheese / Pringles and all the bad stuff ... so I hoped that the vitamins did it.

Also I stopped exercising not that I do much but my two exercise classes stopped my argument being it was aqua aerobics and my class mates may not appreciate chunks in the pool.

I slept like a log ... but would often wake a 4pm for I feel so hungry sick 🤢 that I had to get up ... you see if I didn’t eat before that sensation got to bad then i would vomit non stop for hours.

My little boy of 18 days is fine! Non the worse off for all the cheese and laternpregnancy chocolate I consumed as far as I can tell ( 3 rd trimester the 1st trimester reoccurred )

If you can be perfect great but every pregnancy is different, I remember speaking to people that told me they didn’t even know if they were pregnancy for the first 5 months ... great for them !
I did not enjoy life or pregnancy for the first 4 months.

I listened to what my body told me if I could i would go to exercise class but not feel bad if I needed to get out sooner.

I would try and eat something that would be healthy but if I couldn’t I would eat what would stay down or I thought would stay down.

If on my day off I needed to sleep I would, on work days I just tried to make it so I wouldn’t rush about on lunch with chores and had a sick bag ( food bag ) in my drawer and small snacks to nibble on as and when my body allowed.

As long as your not out drinking and smoking and take the vitamins as much as you can in terms of keeping them down your doing your best and not failing.

2nd trimester is better ... I remember the first full meal i enjoyed with vegetables ... it was heavenly!!

Your doing A marvellous job but your growing a actual person and your body is going to do strange things and so will your hormones ... enjoy the rest now even if you wake up feeling as exhausted as when you went to sleep ... cause bubbas don’t do sleep much 😬😬😬 on that note I am gonna grab a nap to power up for the night while my dh is on duty as my little love won’t sleep more than 4-5!hours at night meaning I get about 3-4!hours 18 days of that in a row and naps are my new survival technique x x but you will love your little bubba so much you will look into there eyes at 3 am and forgive that you have sick on your shoulder they just weed on you and hbent let you sleep yet ... it’s weird but true x x

*souls is meant to be soups ... apologises there may be more errors sleep deprivation is my excuse

Before 7 weeks I exercised 4-5 times a week. Between 8 to about 15 weeks I couldn't exercise at all as I was knackered. I then went back to exercising 3-4 times a week.

If you are anaemic and feeling light headed whether you are pregnant or not I wouldn't advise you to exercise. Get your iron levels up and then think about exercising. I'm only saying this as I have been anaemic a lot through my life including at the end of pregnancy. If you are so iron deficient you feel "odd' then you shouldn't be exercising as it will take 2-4 days before you feel normal for you.

I had HG and spent the first 6 months eating ritz crackers and drinking full fat coke cos nothing else would stay down.

I barely moved because it made me sick, then as it got better I got PGP/SPD, so still couldn't move much!

I suck so bad at being pregnant DD will be an only child. She turned out perfect though.

I know exactly what you mean OP. Before I got pregnant I imagined myself being a beautiful glowing healthy earth mother. Not even touching processed food, sugar or junk. Doing pregnancy yoga every day. Doing everything to give my baby the best start in life.

I’m only 8 weeks but I do whatever gets me through the day. I’m existing on sugar and processed rubbish. I haven’t done yoga once. Oh, and I drank alcohol before I knew I was pregnant.

So I totally totally hear you!

Honestly don't be too hard on yourself. When I got pregnant I ate whatever I wanted just being real 😂 but I took my vitamins I made it a priority.. I stopped taking them 2 months before giving birth. My son was just fine. And don't worry, you'll get lots of sleep.. your body will naturally require it later in the pregnancy. Just relax and enjoy it, being pregnant is the easy part. When your baby is born, wow life changes. You get no sleep, no time to do anythinggggg. So I recommend you relax and enjoy your last few months alone as much as possible.

Thank you all for the reassurance! Guess this is just pregnancy and motherhood huh So excited for my baby and will just keep doing my best x