Midwife made me really sad

[physicskate]

So I've had spd since crazy early!! Turning in bed has been a nightmare since 9 weeks and I'm now 27+4. Some days I can't walk which has left me pretty isolated. My job involves walking and moving things from place to place, but I only work two days a week, which is a godsend.

I've been to the 'group' physio session and now have an appointment for 1-1 where they will actually look at me and my joints.

Had my 28 week appointment today and the midwife (who I otherwise adore) was so dismissive and told me they won't do anything while I'm pregnant and have I been on the pelvic partnership website (which bye says there is lots of manipulations that should be done during the pregnancy).

It's just left me feeling really upset that my midwife basically said why bother, just be in agony whenever you move for the next three months (on top of the four months it's already been like this). I completely understand that physio May be of absolutely no use, but it felt like she didn't believe how much pain I'm actually in.

She told me to get up from the couch after doing my fundal height and I literally couldn't move because my sacro-iliac seized up, even though I was engaging my pelvic floor and core muscles and using my arms.

I just can't face true next three months of this much pain whiteout anyone taking me seriously!!! Plus pregnancy hormones are on the rampage and I've got a bad cold!!!

Did anyone's spd at least not get worse from physio?!?!

@physicskate

Taxis or lifts everywhere (I don't drive)
Get food delivered
I did housework and cooking with hell from friends/family/partner or whilst sat down
I also had a cleaner to hoover and mop once a week with DC2
I got deliveries for food and anything else I could (and made them bring things in to the kitchen etc.)
Sitting down was uncomfortable so I usually sat down on an exercise ball or laid down on my side

My only relief was baths or the swimming pool.

I had to have lots of osteopathy to help me recover. I am still on pain relief now and regularly have hip problems, they are worse in pregnancy and now I'm in the 2nd trimester again I am starting to struggle again

Thanks @joeyb1234. What you've been through sounds horrendous and I suppose it's what I'm afraid will happen if I keep getting blown off!!

My husband has suggested I go on maternity much sooner than I'd planned. I really can't do the job I do without lots of walking... everyone At work days take it easy, but then the next second it's 'faster faster. I need it NOW.' But the shame of that would be that I'd be even more isolated and I actually like my job (even though it's very poorly paid and I won't be going back to it.). But perhaps needs must.

www.osteopathyinhorsforth.co.uk/practitioners.htm

Eileen Coffey is good.

Might also be worth looking at homeopathy.. when all else fails eh??

www.anniehomeopath.com

@physicskate work is such a hard one to balance because if it's anything like my place there are the eye rolls when you go off sick and not being able to cope with "a bit of pregnancy pain". Truth is, no one knows how awful and debilitating bad SPD can be till they've had it.

Gave a think about getting signed
Off just for a couple of weeks and see if it makes any difference for you. Also, don't feel bad about buying some crutches from amazon - the consultant asked me why I had held out for so long. For some reason I just thought a medical person had to give them to you!

I had spd with both pregnancies and you have my sympathy. It is awful being in pain for so long. I found physio helped to some extent and it was nice that that they listened and believed me when I told them how much pain I was in.

I borrowed some crutches and they helped not only with my mobility but in people being kinder to me and not expecting as much!

I would consider getting signed off work though. I carried on and I'm sure it made things much worse.

I echo what others have said about the birth too. I made sure the midwives knew I'd had spd but baby was distressed and I ended up with legs in stirrups to get him out. I couldn't feel it at the time due to epidural but I suffered afterwards.

"I have seen advice on here to do pregnancy yoga - I have been told this is a big no no by several physics. The relaxin is stretching your muscles so without any strengthening work, stretching them more with yoga can aggravate the condition."

This is true for regular yoga but not pregnancy yoga. A good pregnancy yoga teacher will know about the effects of relaxin and the importance of not stretching too much. In fact I remember my pregnancy yoga teacher telling us about it in classes. She advised on comfortable positions and gentle movements for PGP. She even showed us options for climbing down the stairs with less pain/discomfort.

I might have been lucky but I think anyone calling themselves a pregnancy yoga teacher should have training and should know about conditions like PGP. I realise this might not be the case for all of them though!

I went to a physio today. She's probably saying it to save yours and their time.

Nothing can be done..... aka they won't touch you just Incase.

It may be worth enquiring about being signed off sick for a week or two and use it as an opportunity to rest. For me, doing much less (and especially not walking much) has really helped. Just be aware that once you hit 36 weeks pregnancy related absences will trigger your maternity leave (I. E. It automatically commences).

I've found with spd that what helps one person isn't necessarily the same as another. I don't find stairs a problem for example, physio recommended cold compresses but I find hot baths/water bottles work better for me. Apparently my pelvic floor is tight so have been told by physio not to go too crazy with pelvic floor exercises but most women have the opposite issue. Certain yoga asanas hurt me but others are fine. Bit of a minefield.

I do nothing but rest Saturday- Wednesday. And even then I get pain if I walk more than 100m. I don't go for walks anymore... I don't do... anything.

I only work third and Friday and I'm covering for someone off sick for the next two weeks, so don't feel I can cry off too!

Rest won't make it better long term...

My sister had bad SPD and was signed off from 6 months. A colleague's wife was similar. Put yourself first. You don't need to struggle in with work if you're just not up to it.

My pregnancy yoga teacher is very careful to tailor exercises for those with spd for those interested. Appreciate that it hasn't helped you though.

(P.s. I remember you from the TTC board and it's so lovely to see you here Xx)

Thanks daffodil!! I'm immensely pleased to be on this board too!! Just getting down about what's turning into a very unpleasant pregnancy experience (which again no one in my family can understand!!! First infertility and now this?! Someone must really not like me...).

At yoga she always modifies for spd (which is generally only me out of my class of about 20 or so, of course!).

He one thing that helps for a short while is to stretch my hamstrings (somehow) and the muscles of my inner thighs. Doesn't stop my back and right leg from seizing up though...

I had physio and hydrotherapy. Nothing much helped apart from resting and the support belt a bit. I'm sure all my insides were mashed up! Sorry not to be more positive, but I was always seeking a cure and that didn't help much

I'm not looking for a cure, just hope of improvement before I even try. I've finally admitted I can't handle this. I needed acknowledgment of that, not dismissal from my midwife who in two breaths advised the pelvic partnership (who say there is something that can improve the condition) and that nothing can be done.

If nothing can be done to improve it, fine. But don't shoot me down before I've even tried, you know??

If nothing can help, I'll need meds moving forward (pain and probably antidepressants). I'm scared of long term issues and pnd.

I'm so sorry you're suffering, PGP is a nightmare. I had it so badly during my second pregnancy there were days when I seized up and couldn't move at all, occasionally resulting in my husband having to leave work to come and retrieve me. I found crutches helped, I was able to pop in to my hospital physio dept and get some without needing a referral. The biggest game changer was osteopathy, I had two sessions with an osteopath who specialised in maternity treatment and she was able to get me moving, if not exactly pain free then with a hell of a lot less pain than previously. Good luck, I hope you manage to get some help so you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

Sounds horrid for you OP.
Haven’t RTWT but would recommend osteopathy - I had it for SPD during pregnancy and it was wonderful. It helped relieve my pain and realign me so one leg wasn’t shorter than the other!
Make sure the person is properly trained in pregnancy osteopathy.
Good luck.

I was on crutches for the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy and having physio. As soon as I gave birth it was 100 x better if that gives you hope. I couldn't turn over in bed, move either leg independently when laying down. It was awful. Sending hugs

Physicskate, I'm sorry you'r having a hard time with the midwife. I think they can be incredibly insensitive sometimes. There's this slightly odd view that women having babies should just suck up all the pain and discomfort. It's so weird.

I have spd too and am 30 weeks, luckily my midwife referred me to the physio straight away and they gave me crutches which has made a huge difference in being able to get out and about.
I'm also having reflexology with a lady who specializes in pregnancy massage etc. the reflexology has definitely improved the amount of pain I'm in and helps me to sleep 😊

Didn't do much at physio. Gave me two exercise and crutches. Said I was asymmetrical. She now can't see me again until February...

I told her my plan of action and she suggested pregnancy massage as the next step.

Having another miserable day. Pgp still awful (expected). Lots more clicking than I was getting before. Lower right abdo pain that I had at 21 weeks is back (no cause found) and now I've got what I think is terrible rib flare as well.

I can't get comfortable and can hardly sleep. I couldn't get up the stairs. I'm just miserable.

This fucking sucks.

Have you tried massage or a chiropractor?

No appointments around the holidays... and they're shut today (obvs). I have an appointment with a masseuse for next week. Seems an awfully long way off.

Huge sympathies, OP. I'm currently 15 weeks and had a similarly upsetting conversation with midwife at 12 weeks. I'd been in mild pain around what I now know is my sacroiliac joint from about 6 weeks and it just got worse and worse. I rang her after I'd spent an hour sitting at my desk at work in tears from the pain. She likewise implied it was normal and nothing could be done! - which I found absurd. Just before getting pregnant I'd run a half marathon and the idea that it was 'normal' to be unable to walk 12 weeks later seemed ridiculous. She did refer me but it's just to a group class.

What I've done since then is visit a physio who does manipulations, which had an amazing effect. They also strapped me with this tape for sports injuries which gave me relief for the three days I could keep it on. They also gave me a lot of exercises. Above all they emphasised that I should keep moving as much as possible (the physio said I should avoid the 'supermarket shuffle' and try to walk with a normal gait). I must admit that the days when I have gone out for a walk have been better than the days I've not moved as much. I still have mild pain almost constantly but it is very bearable.

I think I'm probably less severe than you, but I just wanted to add to the chorus of people saying things can be done! And that midwives aren't always the best at responding to these sorts of issues (partly I think because they default to a soothing 'this is fairly normal' to prevent women from worrying over every twinge - frustrating when pain isn't normal though).

I also have mental health issues with this pregnancy and I'd advise you to be proactive about highlighting the link between your mobility issues and your mental health. I was similarly deeply upset at the prospect of 28 more weeks of pain and what that would do to me mentally - I am a sporty person and the prospect of just sitting still and shuffling around was awful. I really really hope I can maintain my current activity and pain levels.

Btw, I read that sitting cross legged on the floor (what I think is called a tailor's pose?) is good because it fixes the sacroiliac joint in place, which is the main joint at the root of PGP issues (it's the SI being out of place that puts strain on the SP joint, from whence the term SPD comes).

To clarify - I paid for the physio who did manipulations. I don't regret the expenditure one bit. As far as I'm concerned keeping me happy and healthy whilst I grow a person is a priority for the family budget and we can cut down on less necessary things! I know that it's a privilege to be able to afford even that, though