28 weeks, in pain and anxious. Just need a handhold I think.

[maimy88]

I just wanted to say this baby is so so wanted. We were told it was never going to happen for us because of my health issues so truly is a little miracle.

I'm just over 28 weeks and I am in so much pain. Before being pregnant I was on a lot of pain medication (morphine based) which I managed to stop taking and just survive on paracetamol but now it just isn't helping. I already had chronic pain conditions so was used to being in a fair whack of pain. But now I have SPD and I'm on crutches and a support belt. The pain is awful in my hips, my back, my groin and in my tummy too. I haven't had more than a hour uninterrupted sleep in weeks and I'm struggling to cope with life in general. I'm trying hard to listen to my body, rest and just do what I can but it is easier said than done and is making me feel so awful. Like I'm such a burden. My husband works full time + overtime and is being really supportive but I feel like I should be doing more, cleaning, cooking etc. even though he is telling me not to. I'm on the edge of crying all the time.

I'm getting so anxious about everything to do with my pregnancy but I know it's just because I'm in pain. The more pain I'm in the more anxious I'm getting. I saw a consultant earlier on in my pregnancy who said if I needed more pain relief that I would have to be admitted. I really don't want that because I'm scared of doing any harm to my baby and I really don't want to be in hospital (lots of poor experiences in hospital over the last 10 years). I just don't know what to do and I cannot imagine how I'm going to cope for another 12 weeks. I'm now worrying how I'm going to manage once the baby is here too. I'm so scared I won't cope. I'm seeing my midwife tomorrow but what can she do?

Please speak to your midwife and tell her all your fears you need to look after yourself and baby xx

It’s difficult because obviously it’s a chronic pain rather than an acute one. An osteopath or chiropractor may be able to help with the SPD, they were practically a miracle cure for me both times. I have known women who take codeine/tramadol in pregnancy as part of pain management for chronic conditions. You may need to be admitted for a day or so to sort it all out.

Get referred back to the consultant ASAP and ask for a joint review with the pain team as an inpatient. Also, don’t cry or be vague or say things like “I’m really in pain” and hope they do the rest. Go in and be direct and firm “Unfortunately my pain conditions are no longer being adequately managed with paracetamol. My pain in uncontrolled. Please admit me and review me with the pain team so I can cope for the rest of my pregnancy”.

Oh you poor thing! It’s awful when you are pregnant and feel like you should be enjoying it and you can’t! I’ve been there although not as bad as you I suspect. It’s also hard to accept that when you are pregnant (and when baby arrives) that sometimes you just can’t do everything you used to. Seriously though, your OH sounds brilliant and you really do need to just stop worrying about chores etc. If it means you live off ready meals and pasta then so be it. You need to find ways to rest and relax and not worry. Regarding the pain this will be making you anxious as well as dealing with the pain itself. Pain relief is obv tricky when pregnant so def speak to your midwife and ask for options. I would also personally suggest you request a referral to Talking Therapies. They are fantastic and can help with all sorts (pregnancy related or not). They can provide help with excercises to help you deal with anxiety such as CBT and mindfulness, breathing, meditation etc and a lot of this can really help with chronic pain too. You will be able to cope you just need some tools to help you do it! Xxxx

I find it so hard to talk about my pain clearly when I'm in with Drs and the like. I go into shut down mode and struggle to explain myself well. I think because I had years of trying to convince them something wasn't right I get even more anxious. My husband thinks I minimise the amount of pain I'm in because of how bad it has been in the past. Almost like because it's been so bad the way I feel now isn't as bad as it really is.

Is there a register of chiropractors/osteopaths so you can find a reputable one? I'll ask to be referred back to the consultant tomorrow. I just wish I could be enjoying this pregnancy rather than being so scared and in pain.

I think you're right talking therapies probably would help. Getting it all out I think helps. Even just writing down how I'm feeling in the post gave some relief. I feel so guilty about feeling so low and anxious even with the pain when I should be so grateful I've managed to get pregnant and keep that baby in there safe when it truly shouldn't have been possible. I know it's stupid so talking therapies probably would be reassuring.

Can you take your husband with you to the appointment? Unfortunately, doctors often listen better to men, and it sounds like he might be able to help you to articulate better the level of pain you experience. He can also say what support you need right now - somebody else backing up that you just can’t function right now might help them to take you more seriously. Good luck - I hope that you get better pain relief more easily than you are expecting.

this was me not that long ago... it sucks, but it doesn't last for ever. That became a mantra for me.

Have you tried cocodamol? That was the only thing that relieved my pain, and allowed me to sleep. Its impossible to be level headed when your in that much pain constantly, and so badly sleep deprived.

I tried osteopathy and it helped but it was acupuncture that I found the most effective. It is expensive though, and you need regular appointments for it to work. I put it on the credit card and worried about it later... maybe not ideal but it kept me sane.

I couldn't even really walk with crutches so borrowed a wheelchair from the red cross, it meant we could get out and about a bit.

I was in a terrible way, but the pain went away almost straight after the birth. It took a while to rebuild my muscles but 6 months later you wouldn't know what I went through. So please don't worry about coping with your baby, most people are fine.

Grab all the help you can, leave the housework, it really doesn't matter. And it'll all be a distant memory soon, it's so worth it in the end.

Fwiw I was in so much pain I ended up at the maternity triage. They took me a lot more seriously after that.

I've just had a chat with my husband he's been able to get someone to cover him so he can come with me to the midwife. scaredofthecity I'm so sorry you had it bad too. I've been so anxious about harming my baby I've just had Paracetamol apart from one lot of codeine when I ended up at maternity triage too. It did help somewhat. I imagine if I could take it regularly it would really help the pain and I'd manage the pain so much better with some sleep. Did you need to get the co-codomol off your GP/midwife?

I often go into shutdown mode when in hospitals or in front of a doctor, so always needed to have someone with me (just having them there helped me feel stronger). Have a good conversation with your husband beforehand so that he can articulate the extent of your pain and your worries. I know it’s only second hand, but a friend of mine did have cocodamol throughout her pregnancy due to her health issues and her dd is perfectly healthy.

Codeine is amazing stuff! Definitely ask your GO if they can prescribe it for you. I completely understand when you say you feel like you should be grateful to be pregnant etc but that doesn’t negate your right to also feel like crap so please don’t minimise how you feel. Shout it from the rooftops until you get the help you need whether that’s TT/ meds etc

As you know nothing is considered safe when pregnant, but it is as close to safe as they can say. I did a lot of research and I didn't hear of any credible reasons not to take it.

Plus all those stress hormones from the pain are not good for your baby. It definately seemed like the better option.

I didn't like the way it made me feel and found it hard to look after my 3 yo whilst taking it as it made me very woozy so only took it at night and when I really needed it. I found the acupuncture helped for the day time pain. I found when I took it at night my pain was a lot better the next day as I had slept well. The few times I didn't take it at night I really regretted it the next day.

It is not a miracle cure but definately made life a bit easier. My gp initially wouldn't prescribe it, but once I had it from triage he was happy to carry on after that. Don't forget it is very constipating so you need fibogel or something else as well.

Sorry typo - meant GP! Agree with @Scared about the wooziness tho