Everything has just hit me this weekend. DH and I have been doing NCT classes for a few weeks and I've been confronted with all the physical and practical changes I'm going to have to go through and during the classes I found myself feeling terrified and squeamish where everyone else seemed to be excited and totally fine with what they were seeing.
This pregnancy was very much planned and I have never been more grateful for anything in my life and now I'm crying because I feel so guilty and terrible for not being excited like the other mothers to be in the group were, even though I already live this baby more than anything ever I'm still scared.
This evening I asked DH to give me a shoulder massage and he refused because he couldn't be bothered and I just feel like he doesn't have a clue about what we have to go through in pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and it made me feel awful having to ask him to do that because my back and shoulders are so sore.
I guess I just feel very alone and like DJ doesn't understand at all- if I get upset about anything he just takes himself off to bed and goes to sleep and won't ask how I'm feeling or try to listen.
I think the fact I had three losses before his pregnancy is playing into it because deep down I haven't allowed myself to fully enjoy this pregnancy as I'm so scared and I still am so maybe I'm less prepared than other people. Can anyone empathise?