Second recurrent miscarriage in just over a year

[MissL85]

Hi everybody. Yesterday - at 4 weeks and 3 days - I miscarried. This was my second miscarriage in over a year. Last November I miscarried at 5 weeks and 2 days. I want a successful pregnancy, but I just wonder whether it will happen for me. I'm a teacher and find the job very stressful. I also suffer from anxiety and had put in a two week sick note in to help get past the 5-6 weeks stage. Obviously I won't be needing it.

A friend of mine had numerous miscarriages and a missed miscarriage. She then went on aspirin tablets and was able to carry two babies to full term. Has anyone else taken these tablets? Have they worked for anyone?

While it took me a while to make sex more than about trying to conceive after the last pregnancy, I will be 34 next year. I have read the chances of miscarriages goes up when you get to 35. I also know that I can't be tested until after my third recurrent miscarriage. That last fact in itself seems utterly cruel: to make women go through at least three miscarriages before something is done about it.

I did try to remain calm this pregnancy, and my mental health was tonnes better before I found out I was pregnant.

It's like something that you crave - something that I'm so eager to have and see other women having around me - and it makes me so sad that my body doesn't seem to want me to carry a baby at the moment. I know I could possibly have a successful pregnancy in the future, but there's no guarantees. I suppose it just doesn't help that everyone at work seems to be pregnant.

Anyway, I have rambled on here. I guess, I just want to talk to other women that have suffered two recurrent miscarriages. How have you coped? How are you coping?

When will I stop feeling like I'm a failure to womankind?

You’re not a failure at all! I had two consecutive M/C’s too (and a MC and a chemical before DD was born)

The first one was at 5-6 weeks and the second one was a MMC at 10+3. The earlier two were 5-6 weeks and 3-4 weeks.

If it’s any consolation, after the first two I went on to have DD (5) who is perfect and after the last two we’ve suffered I’m now 14+5 weeks.

Speak to your doctor and see if he would consider putting you on low does aspirin next time around. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this again

You did not cause the miscarriage. Chemicals generally happen because of a problem with the embryo. Baby aspirin is not a bad idea, as there are generally no contra-indications.

I quit teaching and am now pregnant through ivf after two chemicals. Unfortunately and tragically, they happen.

I want to quit teaching too, but I don't know what else I would do. Thank you both of you for responding.

I know deep down it could have been chemicals or chromosome problems. But with it already happening twice, it could easily happen a third time.

You can buy low dose aspirin on the shelf at Tesco. I asked my gp about it and she said it wouldn't do any harm. I can't offer any advice as I had an early mc nearly a year ago and still trying. If/when I get pregnant again I'm planning on taking 75mg aspirin from positive pregnancy test.

If you can afford it you could consider going private for some tests?

Oh and I'm a teacher too. I don't know what else I'd do. I don't have the confidence to change career and can't afford a pay cut.

What about changing schools? I'm much happier at my present school than my last one.

Sorry, me again!
I've recently started acupuncture. Have you looked into that?

I will definitely look into acupuncture. I have reflexology, but I haven't tried acupuncture. I will ask the pharmacist at my local Tesco about the aspirin, as I suffer from inflammation of the stomach and I don't know how it will work with my stomach.

I'm like you, Seven, and I don't have the confidence to leave at all.

Sorry to hear about your mc, I had a mc last month and felt exactly the same.

I do have a almost 4 year old, so am lucky I guess to have experienced a 'normal' pregnancy, but was still heartbroken by mc at 7 weeks.

I have a pretty stressful job and frequently have to travel, normally just european travel but I transatlantic every couple of months. I felt like this may have been a factor. And my exercise regime, and just generally feeling like I run around like a maniac most of the time! The lovely nurse did say to me to think about all the circumstances babies are born in, and that if a pregnancy is viable it will overcome a lot more then daily stresses and strains.

Certainly try the aspirin, and keep up pregnancy multi vitamins, try to clear your calendar at the weekends. I've been doing this since mc last month and have found my life seems less hectic. I'm trying to go to bed earlier, read and take a bath every night to relax - and like you am trying reflexology.

When will you try again?

I've had one period since mc and considering trying again this month.

I'm currently working as a science technician (was a physics teacher) and got a job with the civil service starting after my maternity leave - both are paycuts, but with the civil service there is some scope for progression at some point and it will cover the bills...

Ambs81, both times I conceived I wasn't really actively trying. We just seemed to be dtd a lot more those months. After the last miscarriage I made sex all about trying to conceive and took the enjoyment out of it and that stressed me out way too much. It wasn't good for me. So, I don't know when I will try again. Possibly when this bleeding stops. But it may be that it won't be as regular that month. It all depends on variables: tiredness; when my ovulation might occur on; whether I'm at work around those days or not etc. I stopped making sex about ttc and eventually it happened. So I might just go back to doing that again. It seemed to work both times for me. My only concern is getting my mental health back to where it should be so that I can conceive. Both miscarriages have given it a serious knock and it was only just back to normal before I conceived this time.

Yeah, I know people that really militantly try and it sounds stressful . - using all sorts of apps etc.
I've been on the pill since my LO was about 6 months, came off it and fell straight away - so for me when I say 'trying', i just mean I won't be taking the pill, i.e trying not too!!

I have had two missed misscarriages and I’m now 15 weeks pregnant , I took aspirin but advised to come off after my 12 week scan and told they think it’s just a coincedense I’m having a successful pregnancy and not the aspirin, it won’t hurt taking it though. I actually never thought I’d get this far so it can happen for you too x

I have done a bit of research on the aspirin and it shouldn’t be used on people with issues with their stomachs, so it looks like with my stomach inflammation that I cannot use it.

try Not to worry to much about the aspirin , At least you know if it happens again you can have testing and if you do need blood thinners you’ll know ,but most of the time nothing comes back from the tests, mine came back clear . It’s a horrific thing to go through let alone more than once , take a break if you need it x I really hope you have a successful pregnancy next time

Thanks sh13. I went to speak to my local pharmacist who advised me against the aspirin and to speak to my doctor. I have a telephone appointment on Thursday.

Anyone feel like those who have never had a miscarriage can never imagine how we feel in this situation? I was back at work today after miscarrying on Saturday and my head teacher came to see me. She was the only one who asked me how I was because she’s been through it more than once herself. I think everyone else just assumes we’ll be fine.

Yes. And the double whammy of infertility - no one gets it unless they've lived it.

Probably no one knew what to say or what you'd want them to say.

Part of me doesn’t really want to discuss it. If I don’t discuss it, it didn’t happen. When I do discuss it, I start crying and feel so full of sadness and disappointment that it’s happened again.

I started reading 'It Starts With The Egg' and I've found it immensely helpful with coming to terms with my two miscarriages in the last six months (8w6d and 9w2d respectively) and am reading 'Miscarriage - What Every Woman Needs to Know' and have started looking at fertility diets etc. I'm much older than you - I'm 40 - but really would like to try and get as much control over the process as I can.

I'm sorry to hear about the aspirin, I'd definitely ask if there's an alternative you could use, but there's so many other things you could do as well as it might not just be your blood.

I really feel your pain - there's nothing quite like it, is there? It's heartbreaking and can really mess with our systems - on so many levels. I'm very up and down as I'm just coming to the end of my second miscarriage.

I've decided to wait three cycles as that's when the recommended vitamins and minerals from the egg book take effect and also I think my body needs a break to recuperate. Just under six months of first trimester does some crazy to this woman!

I wish you the very best of luck with your journey. It's wonderful to know we're not alone with our journeys. Xxx

The sadness and disappointment are horrendous. No one really ever knows. I find it very isolating. Wishing you strength x

Do you think you’ve gone back to work too soon? There’s no way I could of worked I had a complete breakdown after mine. I felt the same as you, with time it will get abit better it will never go away but you’ll be able to think/talk about it without feeling overwhelmed be gentle with yourself x

I went back after a day off last time because being at home was worse for me. I had way too much time to think about everything. Going back to work was the right thing to do.

Am I alone in constantly blaming myself for something I did or didn’t do?

I’m worried about the exercise I did do before I found out I was pregnant.