Feel really down - overdue, induction booked, stressed about dm

[Cocopops2010]

Hi everyone, I could do with some advice.
Am over 41 weeks pregnant and due to be induced on Tuesday. I've been trying to read positive induction stories but am still really scared. Have had BH contractions for last few weeks but they never become anything more. Had a sweep yesterday and was 1cm dilated and have had a big bloody show ever since but I don't know if that can mean anything.
Barely slept last night, baby has pushed itself right into my ribs and now I'm awake and its so painful just below my ribs I am nearly in tears.
In addition my dm is really stressing me out. She lives a 3+ hour drive away and is really excited about meeting her grandchild. I think she wants to come down pretty much as soon as the baby arrives and I really want it just to be me, baby and dh for the first night at home. I've suggested to her that when she does come down she could stay the night with dh's parents - they live nearby and have loads of room, and she gets on well with them - but she keeps on saying 'I'd rather stay with you' and 'I'll have just done a 3 hour drive I don't want to stay with anyone else'. She doesn't seem to get the hint but I am finding it difficult just to say no because I don't want to upset her.
Anyway I couldn't sleep last night because so uncomfortable and also really stressing about dm staying - and I know that stress can prevent labour so now I feel it is my fault I am so overdue.
Any advice? Or just cheering up I know I will meet baby soon but I feel so miserable.

Just tell her I and tell her she’s making youbstrssed whichisnt good for you or baby

Just tell her you’ve arranged for her to stay with dh parents until you feel up having someone at yours

Any chance you and your DH could go to ground for a few days after baby arrives... simply don't tell anyone?

I wasn't sure about my Mum being there immediately after. She was happy to wait for my word...

After a long 24 hour labour and intervention, I was SO relieved to discover that her and Dad had made their way to the hospital (a town they didn't know via bus) and had just sat patiently awaiting news - specifying to the staff not to tell us they were there.

As soon as I was told they were outside I didn't care what state I was in - I just needed them.

It feels like the longest time in the world when you're pregnant. It'll soon pass and you'll have your little one x

I was induced as baby was late it didn’t work until the third attempt so went in on a Monday morning and went into labour on the Tuesday night. The contractions came thick and fast straight away and the labour was 4 hours long. So take plenty of reading material for the both of you incase it doesn’t work straight away. With regards to your mum just say ‘ we would just like our first night out of hospital by ourselves mum please don’t be offended ‘ see what she says to that if she keeps insisting get your DH to tell her or text her , you don’t need the stress .

The sweep and the show sound really positive. I was recently induced but had no such luck beforehand!
Try not to stress about induction- mine was very heavily monitored and I was on a drip. I think it’s just important to be aware what can happen so that you know what to expect in different scenarios. I didn’t feel as aware as maybe I should have been. I would say if you’re on the drip don’t necessarily rule out the epidural- although having said that I did labour a long while just breathing the pain.

I know your dm is excited, and actually you might feel like you really want her after the birth, but try and tell her you’re a bit overwhelmed and you need her to stay at your dp’s parents. You’ll feel better once you’ve said it.

The sweep and the show sound positive! Have you got a ball to bounce on? That might move things along.

Can you just not tell your dm that baby has arrived ? Mine really wants to be at my birth and I don’t want her there at all tried telling her that and she hasn’t listened so I’m not telling her when I’m in labour and have written in my birth plan they my mum is to kept out and no info given should she phone because I fear she’ll just turn up.

I don’t blame you for wanting some family time once baby arrives. They’ll be a long line of visitors soon enough so good to have some time just the 3 of you.

Do you usually have a good relationship with your mum? If so, bear in mind that you're likely to be very grateful for her support in future and it would be sad to get off on the wrong foot for this next phase of your lives. Mothers can be a huge help to new mums - I'd try not to push her away.

Have 'the conversation' with your mum ASAP. Could you suggest (and/or pay for) a B&B if your mum feels awkward staying at your in laws?

A midwife who ran one of my antenatal classes mentioned that many women go overdue and don't go into labour until this kind of issue is resolved (she said that most often it was due to MILs wanting to be at the birth!).

Do you have another sweep arranged? It might be worth another try tomorrow if you want to and can arrange it with your midwife. I was told that it often takes two or three attempts (third time lucky in my case).

In the meantime, try to position yourself upright/go for a gentle walk/sit on a birthing ball watching TV/etc. in order to try and get the cervix dilating more.

Thank you everyone, you have cheered me up.
I'm glad my sweep was positive. I hadn't bought a birthing ball as was trying to save money but have just seen that Argos have one for £10 so I am going to go and get that - if anything I will get out of the house!

I have another sweep booked for tomorrow. I was meant to be induced tomorrow but they were fully booked when my mw rang. This morning I was thinking I could ring and see if a space for induction tomorrow had become available, but maybe it's worth just hanging on an extra day to see?

Yes @nuttyknitter I do have a good relationship with my dm, but she can be quite pushy sometimes and I struggle to stand up to her. I know she will be really helpful when baby arrives. I think I will just say to her that I would really be happier without anybody staying the night the first few nights. Hopefully she'll understand.

Thanks again everyone