Would you be pi**ed off.. or am I being out of order!!!!!

[twoplusone]

I am 37wks today with my third pg..

My other two children dd 10yrs and ds 3yrs..

My dh seems to think that if I have a lie in on say saturday.. that he gets sunday.. which is ok I suppose.. but ds gets up about 6am so today I got up with him at 5.45am.. By 8am I couldnt keep my eyes open I am just so drained.. so I woke up dh and said we need to swap I am knackered.. I woke up at 11am, Got up even though still knackered from the week of runnning after ds..( who is like a whirlwind from the moment he gets up till he goes to bed..) as there is a families day on camp and thought it would be nice to go , as outings are fairly limited, with shortage of funds etc..
As soon as I get up DH says he is going to bed!!!!

It pi**ed me off as all week I am on my own whilst he is at work (fair enough) but friday (which he has donew for the last 3-4 fridays!!) when he could have come home he went on the piss instead and got bevvied.. (was in a worse state than I thought.. this is why he is knackered today as he didnt dare go back to bed yesterday..!!)

I still do 95% of the house work.. eventhough I have asked him to do the bath as bending over it is now uncomfortable.. but no I stillhave to do it he conviniantly forgets.. also the washing.. our washing machine is in the cellar.. and going up and down 2 flights of stairs..with washing all day.. is knackering.. but he will just sit (aaaggghhh) unless I say something!! But I am stubborn.... Then the ironing is all left for me to do too..

Reading back things seem to be little things but to me it is big at the moment.. I suppose I have answered my own question and it is me.... (or shall I blame the hormaones!! )

The big question re being unreasonable.. is should I be pi**ed of with DH wanting to go back to bed as a tit for tat thing that I have had an extra 2hrs than him!!?? (Which when I am not pg doenst normally happen btw)

I am totally with coolmama on this one! My DH is fab round the house and helps out wherever I need him too (and he works long hours). I dont think its because he is some genetic mutation - its because of 3 things.
Firstly I ask. If i want him to go to the shop, I dont say I am going and then want him to offer. I ask him to go.
Secondly - if i ask him to help me out with something, I dont expect it to be done my way. I get out the way - and let him do it his way. (I used to want things done a certain way and when they werent, got frustrated. who says my way is right?)
Finally - not getting in his way, lead to him doing stuff without my asking - day to day stuff - loading/ emptying dishwasher, doing laundry, taking out bins/ recycling....it is all done without one word from me. However - what I do do without fail, every single time he does something is notice and thank him.

The outcome? we are both happier . no tension, no frustration. I am over the moon because I dont need to keep asking and even when i want to, I can. And he is far happier not worrying about trying to read my moods - knowing i mean what i say.
It worked for me - I really recommend it!

@ dal21 - that's all very well, and yes i let DH do things any way he chooses, and yes I always say thank you if he does do something.... but isn't it his house too? He doesn't come home after work everyday and say "thank you for doing the laundry / ironing / cooking dinner" - mainly I think because he doesn't notice it's been done, and that the fairies do it overnight, perhaps? There's a lot of 'magic' in our house!

I'm not grumbling about DH, he's a fantastic man, he's my best friend in the world and I love him very much, but just sometimes they could offer to do more, that's all.

(Ooh and don't get me started on him messing up a tidy house through sheer laziness!! If he spent three hours putting up a set of shelves he'd be a bit pissed off if I went and intentionally trashed them!) Oops sorry, rant over!

I think of it in one way only -
"Expectations can be the road to hell"
If you don't tell your partner what you expect from him, then how do you expect him ever to meet your needs?
You yourself doom him to failure because he has no idea of what it is that you want - and that just seems really stupid to me.
So you feel ignored and neglected or taken for granted, and yet you never give the guy a chance to satisfy you.
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.....

LucyK - hmmm, if DH messed things up through sheer laziness, I too would be annoyed. He should thank you and appreciate you for doing the stuff you do around as the house....as you say, it doesnt get done through magic.
I told DH an age ago that acknowledging the things I did for him meant a lot to me - and once i am at home with the little one, I think this will become more important as for a while being a mum and housewife will be what i do - so i will need praise and recognition. Fortunately for me; he was respectful of what I asked him to do - and he does thank me for dinner being on the table and all the other everyday things.

Lots of people would say how cheesy and naff, but it makes me happy - so it's enough for me! Fingers crossed it carries on..been easy thus far as so far it has just been him and me. Having a little one around may not make it so smooth. Bring it on I say - cannot wait!

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Naughty DH - sounds like he needs a kick up the ar*e!

Our antenatal teacher filled a sports bag with loads of different things representing all the extra weight you are carrying in the last month of pregnancy. She then got all the men to lift it. It sounds a bit silly but they were all really shocked and I think it helped them understand a bit more.

There is a great book called why men don't listen and why women can't read maps (or something like that). It helps you understand that men and women are very different communicators. There isn't much use trying to use subtle hints with a man - they don't get it and you get annoyed! They respond better to direct language.

Hope you sort him out soon