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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Found out I’m pregnant with Partner of 6years

12 replies

EmzyR · 07/12/2018 16:53

So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with my first. The clear blue says 3+ weeks and I’m suffering with terrible sickness. He is unsure what to do as it was totally unexpected as I was on the pill taking it at everyday at the same time however I must have been sick or something because here I am. We are both in shock! I love him but I’m so confused as my hormones are all over the place and when I spoke to my midwife earlier it was all about the birth!!! Talk about scare me more. He’s saying we are young- he’s 27 and I’m 24. He hasn’t said he doesn’t want it but has said he don’t know what to do. Do I give him space or keep on about it? Midwife said appointment will be within 14 days.

OP posts:

Surfskatefamily · 07/12/2018 16:59

Congratulations...and shocker i guess. 6 years sounds steady and mid twenties isnt overly young for babies. It just sounds a bit earlier than youd hoped.whatever you decide im sure you will make it work.

Original poster

EmzyR · 07/12/2018 17:01

Thank you! Yes really shocked. X

OP posts:

Armygirl · 07/12/2018 17:03

You’ve been together a long time and even though it’s a shock you should be discussing it together rather than him saying HE doesn’t know what to do! Maybe give him a day or two to get his head together. Do you know what you’d like to do?

Shepherdspieisminging · 07/12/2018 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sethis · 07/12/2018 17:05

Lots of communication but not pressure, if possible.

You do have plenty of options, including trying again the future when you're both more prepared for it.

Do either of you have any plans for the next few years that become impossible with a baby in tow?

Whatever you decide, I hope you manage to reach the decision together for the benefit of you both. Best of luck!

LovelyBranches · 07/12/2018 17:08

Decide what you want to do. There’s no wrong answer here. If you want the baby then many congratulations. If you don’t, there are options. Do you have other people you can trust to talk about this?

jessstan2 · 07/12/2018 17:08

Early days yet Emzy. You both have time for it to sink in. Talk over the options gently.

Good luck with everything.

Original poster

EmzyR · 07/12/2018 17:12

I think I want to keep it as I don’t think I could ever get rid. It has been a dream one day just wasn’t expecting it to be now. I’ve literally just got my own flat, I’m worried how I’ll cope financially and mentally with both. He wants to become an accountant and buy properties and do them up. Me on the other hand has no plans just I was planning to become ofsted registered before I had my own so I could work from home. That hasn’t worked out. I’m thinking of giving him space but I’m scared he won’t want to be part of it. He’s never had much experience with kids, although he is getting better and now has a niece and a nephew but it’s always been me dealing with them crying etc. He loves them to bits and I think he would be great, I just don’t want to do this alone.

OP posts:

pfwow · 07/12/2018 17:17

It sounds hard, but it's also so abstract at the moment. You do sound like you have made your mind up, and if you have been together for so long you have every reason to be optimistic. Give him a bit of time to get used to the idea, you sound so shocked yourself, he's probably feeling the same!

harrypotterfan1604 · 07/12/2018 17:50

Hi :) I am 28 and been with my bf for 10 years. I was on the pill and found myself pregnant back In May. We own our own home are in a very stable relationship and my immediate thought when I saw the positive test was holy shit I’m too young for this. All sorts of random feelings were coming and going and I felt like the worst person in the world for not being immediately filled with joy.
My bf was and still is very frightened it’s a big life changer. We had discussed children but way in our future.
I’m now 36 weeks and my bf has started to become excited now he’s spent the entire pregnancy scared I think. It was a huge shock.
I’d give him a couple of days if I were you, no pressure but lots of conversation. There are plenty of options xx

Surfskatefamily · 07/12/2018 18:00

Theres no reason your careers cant happen . Would be hard to both start new things at the same time. Maybe he can train as accountant whilst baby is little then you can make of funded nursery hours later and his support to set up your thing?
Only an idea. You two will figure it out

Im very not rich but my little family always get the bills paid. If he wants to be an accountant he can practise budgeting at home

Loopytiles · 07/12/2018 18:26

The decision on what to do about the pregnancy is solely yours. He can, of course, be honest about his feelings.

His decisions include whether to stay in the relationship and, if you have a DC and he doesn’t stay with you, what kind of father to be.

In making your decision it’d be sensible to think through the scenario that you become a single parent, since unfortunately this is by far the most likely scenario given your ages and breakup stats.

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