Is this a generational thing..? Should dh REALLY WANT a son?

[BibiThree]

I'm 32 weeks pg with twin girls (already have dd), and we're over the moon. DH loves having a girl and would feel just as excited if we were having boys this time, but knows how fab daughters are too.

We were at a family bbq on the weekend when a family friend (his mum's bf) said
Friend: "So Mr Bibi, you're having two more girls then?"
DH: "Yes, won't be long now and we'll be a family of five"
Friend: "Well, you can always try again, can't you?"
DH:

When I told my gran we knew it was two mroe girls, the first thing she asked was
"Is Mr Bibi alright with that?"
and even his mother, who clearly sees how much he adores dd, said
"It would have been nice for him to have son though"

FFS! Dh really doesn't midn either way what we get, we certainly won't be trying again and are both shocked that people over a certain aga seemt ot hink he's going to feel incomplete as a man unless he fathers a son ...

odd isn't it

i'm expecting my second son and loads of people have asked if we'll try for a third to get a girl

I get pissed off with people asking when will we start trying for a girl.

I do sympathise. Dh has 2 older daughters and there was a certain assumption that he "must" want a son. I had some sympathy with Anne Boleyn when I was pregnant!!

It's this stupid matching set idea whereas the reality is that he will be adored by 3 girls!! To suggest that you have failed before you have even given birth is just the height (depth) of ignorance and bad manners!

People always assume you want what you haven't got. I'm more than happy having two boys but people think I'm odd for not yearning for a girl.
If I had a third (and that's unlikely) I'd be perfectly happy with another boy.

People always assume that as women we'd prefer girls, but I was really pleased to find out we're having a boy (mostly down to early pregnancy panic about being really jealous of my daughter when she's young and gorgeous and I'm old and wrinkly... yes I know! I had the hormone crazies!) I'm actually quite relived I won't be having the Bratz battle in Woolies as my sister does every week (I love my nieces but I hate girls toys, all that pink plastic! I was always a tomboy myself though, so maybe that has some bearing on it too)

hi BibiThree - congrats on the twin pregnancy (my dts are 12 weeks) pop on over to the 'd'ya ever' threads on multiples - loads of fantastic multiple parents to chat to & gain experience & advice. Enjoy

I've got one of each already and have to admit that I do feel 'priveleged' to be in this position but I would have been happy with 2 of either. Also, I have been able to avoid this sort of comment!!

I have remarried so this is DH's first one and he is the last in his family with his surname so we have had a few comments about the fact that he should want a boy. As it is, we're having a girl and he is over the moon!

When people ask what we're having, I feel under pressure to have a preference but I can't understand why! It must be generational I suppose as it does tend to be older people...

Don't you just want to shake people and tell them that we're going to love them girl or boy!!!!!!??????

Sorry, I've said 'he is over the moon' but I meant WE are over the moon!!

it's a load of old bollox if you ask me. Something to do with "carrying on the family name" , boys' inheritance etc etc and all that palava.

They've even got rid of that nonsense in the royal Family now haven't they so why people still go on about it is beyond me

Congrats bibi3 BTW - you can now wait for the "you'll have your hands full" comments from complete strangers as well!!

LOL at the "have your hands full" comments, they have already started AND I've been told be one woman that I "must be mad" for having twins - um, yeah ... I actually commanded my egg to split. I know it's going to be hard work, but they're my babies, why would I mind?!

Had a complete paddy at my gran the other week (let's say it was hormones) after she'd told me for the umpteenth time how hard it was going to be - why does everyone ahve to be so blardy negative?

I think there is no way to keep people happy, if you had a boy and were expecting another 2 you would be at the recieving end of their pity.

I only have one boy, but I couldn't mention I would like to have another baby without somebody saying "Oh yes, we women always want to have a little girl!". And I really do not understand why on Earth peple can't understand that we are really OK with what we got..

I know what you mean. All my female friends (none of which have children mind) keep saying how they want boys. They each have a different reason, one says that girls are too much trouble, one says she wouldn't know what to do with one as she is a tomboy and another says that she worries her husband wouldn't bond with a girl as easily as a boy! As soon as I announced I was having a girl they all tried to comfort me and point out the positives as if I was the runner up with a booby prize

My dh is delighted to have a girl and so am I. I think too much is made of gender, you can end up with a girly boy or a boyish girl but whatever you get he/she will be an individual who will delight,infuriate and challenge any preconceived ideas you had about them before they were born!

My father always got sympathy for having three girls, which was downright rude given it was often in front of us! And he was non-plussed since he loved having daughters. People often assumed he wanted a boy to share his hobby with (he owns several steam engines) but he was more than happy to drag us around steam railways. We all knew how to use a shovel from a very young age.

I agree I don't understand why people are like this. Its so last century

People think DH is somekind of genius for producing 4 boys.

I tell them that he had very little to do with it actually and I'm the effin clever one!

oh and as to the generational thing, I don't think its necessarily true as my parents had 2 girls then a boy. My dad has always said that he didn't care what he got and that he didn't see much difference between the 3 of us. Me and my sister used to play with my dads hornby train set and we all went sailing together and when my brother came along he did the same. He also used to bake cakes with my mum

I'm pg for the second time and we have Dd1, when I found out that this one is likely to be a girl too (no identifiable boys bits!!) almost everyones reaction was 'Never mind, you're still young enough to try again' . I didn't think this sort of attitude really existed and it came from all generations too! Dh is so excited to be having another girl, he says he's always wanted to refer to 'his girls' - Bless him .

I was once asked by a friend who is a GP after my second was born (dd2) if I was going to try for my boy next . Surely she of all people knows that it is chance and not something we can influence, although I do know sometimes people do try.

FWIW we have 3 dds and one ds, I do like a mix and my dh was happy at having a son but we didn't set out to have a ds, we set out to have 4 children and this is what we have ended up with.

Lucky lucky you for having twins, enjoy.

this is also a talking point for me but im on the opposite end

i have 2 dd's from EX and my partner has 2 ds's wth his ex, i am 16 wks, so he really wants a girl, i would love another girl as i always wanted girls from having younger brother/cousins all boys (i was last girl in my family till my dd's)but i havent had a son so that would be exciting as well. also there are no girls in dp family for 55yrs so they all want a girl (so no pressure!!) also my girls want a girl

but everyone i tell im expecting friends neighbours and my family all seem convinced i must desperately want a boy because i haqve 2 daughters, to the point they dont belive that i really want a girl

but being as last pregnancy ended in mc it would just be lovely to get to the end of pgcy with a healthy newborn (but noone seems to think about the acutal miracle of growing a baby these days they just take it for granted)which is really sad