Awful midwife booking app.. can i change midwife?

[Snoopy28x]

I am currently on my 3rd pregnancy. I have 1 beautiful DD. I sadly miscarried at 11 weeks In July wirh my 2nd pregnancy. Understandable I am very nervous about this pregnancy.

I had my booking app today, however there was a mix up with times. They text me confirmation of my blood test, but I thought that was the midwife app time. So when I got there she called me into the room, instantly she was very off with me. Said that I've missed my app, I should of been there earlier. I said I came at the time they confirmed. She went on at me for ages saying that was my blood test, she can't fit me in now.

She then stated that she's cancelled my blood test app because she assumed id miscarried!! At this point I broke down in tears, this is not words I want to hear when I'm pregnant.

I told her why I was upset. She then proceeded to tell me that only 1 in 5 pregnancies will survive. That she blames pregnancy tests because back in her day she wouldn't of known until she missed 2 periods. That she missed 2 periods once and then had a heavy period, so she probably miscarried and didn't know....

She has 're booked me for next week. But I came out of the room in floods of tears and.really feeling upset.

I want to change midwife but I think she is the only one as it's a small village.

Am I over reacting??

No you aren't, that isn't the person you want to care for you. You may have to travel to your appointments if she is the only local one though.

Sounds charming. If you're in a small village you probably don't have a choice.

However, you'll only see the midwife for roughly 3 appointments and the rest will be at the hospital so unless you're planning a home birth your rapport with this midwife probably isn't that important.

No she sounds awful. I'd contact the hospital, explain what she said and ask for another midwife.

You can get another midwife easily. Booking in appointments are at the hospital. I would be tempted to put in a formal complaint.

INeedNewShoes

That's not necessarily correct. I've had two pregnancies at two different hospital trusts. The first one the midwives worked on a rota so I saw different midwifes for each appointment and some appointments were allocated to my GP.

With my current pregnancy, all routine midwife appointments have been with the same midwife (bar one when she was on holiday) at the same location (gp surgery) on the same day of the week. It's only been ad hoc appointments like my gestational diabetes blood test which has taken place at hospital.

Gosh that’s awful poor you! I think you need to try and switch. He sounds awful!

Sorry she*

I've only seen one midwife twice, and I've seen lots!

Round here you see the same midwife all the way through your pregannacy and don’t go to he hospital (for booking in or anything else) as pp said. But I guess op knows what to expect locally to her as she has a child.

Op is there someone else you could switch to? Can you call your midwives boss or te coordination unit to ask to be reassigned?

Booking in is booking into the hospital though. your community midwife usually cares for you throughout pregnancy but you still book into the hospital you intend to deliver at. The community midwives can’t do all the scans and everything can they?

I have had my booking in appointment at my GP surgery for 3 pregnancies in 3 different areas. The only appointments I’ve ever had at the hospital have been my 12 and 20 week scans.

Thank you all for your replies.

The midwife is at the gp, the only time I will go to the hospital is for the scans.

I was just left feeling so upset when this should be a happy occasion and I wanted a little reassurance.

I will try contacting my the midwife team at the hospital and see if they can help me to change. I had a lovely midwife the first 2 times, but I've recently moved and they seem to do things differently here.

I called the community midwife team and requested to change during my third pregnancy when I was given the same dragon I had during the first two pregnancies. I was so glad I had the courage to request a change that time, it made pregnancy so much more enjoyable. You shouldn’t have to put up with a horrible person like that.

Urgh. Ask GP to change midwife. If you are in a town this should be possible

That’s horrible.

You may have to travel elsewhere to your appointments if it’s a small village though.
I live in a small village and there’s only one midwife comes to our GP surgery, and unless she was off on holiday, I saw this same community midwife for every appointment in all 3 pregnancies (except hospital things like scans and consultant appointment).

I am not surprised you feel that way.

I would look into it .

I had an awful midwife. I remember her now and my Ds is 11

Disgusting treatment!! Definitely ask if you can change midwife, but make sure you tell them the reason why. If it were me, I definitely would put in a complaint as well. Good luck OP!

Well, glad you have the confidence to ask to change! Don’t see it as just for you, but your feedback could also change the experience many other women have after you x

Thank you all xx

I wasn't sure if maybe I was being overly sensitive (hormones!). I will definitely speak to my GP on Monday and try and change, I don't even mind if I have to travel a bit further.

I don't feel like I could voice any concerns if I had any with her xxx

Oh god, I'm a midwife and your story makes me cringe. Sorry on behalf of all midwives 🙂. She does sound like a bit of of a narcissist doesn't she, you are upset about your previous miscarriage and she just talks about her own and how it didn't bother her! I think everyone is right to suggest you investigate changing midwife but I was just going to offer a few suggestions in case it's very difficult to do.
As it's not your first baby you will see your midwife a little less than before. Although she sounds like she's got minimal emotional sense she will know her stuff medically I'm sure. Midwife appointments are essentially screening appointments. Checking baby's growth and if there are any symptoms of pre-eclampsia or other problems in pregnancy. Just use her to cover the basics. If you have any serious concerns get in touch with your hospital directly.
Just maybe as well, there's a chance she isn't a complete nightmare. Perhaps you caught her at a bad time. Not trying to excuse her but I know how stressful it is sometimes trying to get a clinic to run to time so women aren't waiting too long. She may surprise you....

SecretM thank you so much for your reply.

Yes I understand everyone has off days, I know I do! I think she thought I was upset because I was worried about miscarrying this time, whereas really it was hearing the word miscarriage uttered within minutes of my first time seeing her. I am very emotional this time round, so may have been partly that.

I may take your advice and maybe see what happens next week at the appointment. Then decide if I need to change.

Hearing it from your perspective has helped, so thank you for your reply xxx

Like the advice above I’d maybe see how it goes at your next one. In my area I think the only way I’d be able to change midwife is if I registered at a different GP. All of my appointments bar scans have been/will be with the same lady and they all have different patches. I don’t even know if my hospital actually does midwife appointments on site other than for higher risk women but it would be a huge amount of hassle, huge parking charges, longer journey etc. If you have a similar set-up in your area, I’d be tempted to stick with the existing one for convenience and continuity unless she continues to upset you.