depression and loneliness. Is it normal???

[Midnight95]

So Where to start with this..
I’m 23 years old and I’m currently 16 weeks pregnant with my first child. I have been feel extremely detached from this pregnancy and myself also just depressed overall. This was unplanned pregnancy and I’ve been miserable. I feel awful for saying this but I hate being pregnant. I had depression and anxiety before falling pregnant and was recovering but since conceiving it’s got increasingly worse. I don’t feel connected to this pregnancy at all. I just kind of feel like an empty shell of a person??? So far the pregnancy has not been easy as I’m high risk and it’s already taking its toll on my physical health. I don’t really know what’s happening because doctors aren’t giving me the answers I need so I’m in this limbo unable to plan anything because I don’t know how anything is going to go. Could this be one of the reasons?
I feel super lonely too. I feel like I’m losing all my friends, I guess you could say I’ve pushed them away but that’s never what I’ve intented..they got mad at me for referring to the baby as ‘the thing’ and how I’ve been negative so far but I just can’t feel happy. I didn’t realise how my attitude towards my own pregnancy affects other people..
Sorry it’s a bit of a rant but I have no one to talk to about this anymore and I’m stressed and scared by the whole the whole situation I’m in. I feel like an absolute awful person and that I don’t deserve to be a mum if I feel like this.. 😐 has anyone experienced anything like this and had difficulty maintaining relationships with people close to them??

Hi @Midnight95 - sorry to hear you're struggling - I think it's quite common to feel depressed during pregnancy - especially early stages. Your body is going through a huge change and all those hormones raging around will upset that balance that you had when you say you'd been recovering.

I have felt it a bit myself; I have a history of anxiety and depression too - but what helps me is that I know it's temporary and it will pass. I think it's also hard to connect to an unborn child and feel bonded with it - I am almost 12 weeks and don't feel particularly bonded as such - I think that happens more when the oxytocin floods your system when you give birth. Did you have your first scan?

Have you told your midwife about how you feel? They are meant to prioritise mental health in pregnant women, mine was really understanding and didnt judge me for what I told her. She said its normal in first tri to feel down and she will check in on me.

Also, there are anti-depressants that are safe to take - Sertraline is one of them I think. I would encourage you to talk to your GP/midwife.

Are there things you know help? Self- care things that you could do for yourself? Getting out in Daylight is important - low Vit D can lower mood.

You might want to have a look at the ante-natal/postnatal depression section of mumsnet, I dont know how active it is but there might be some helpful stuff there.

Look after yourself and I'd encourage you to seek help - it sounds hard.