So scared for my 3rd early reassurance scan - scan dates not adding up & no heartbeat yet - handhold

[TwittleBee]

After 12 months of TTC (including 2 CPs) DH and I thought we got lucky with baby#2 as this would be the 3rd set of BFPs in 12 months so surely 3rd time lucky?

At 5 weeks I was having bleeding and cramping and was so scared that this was all just going to end again. GP referred me to EPU for when I should be 5+4 days to get checked.

At that scan I measured 5+3, saw yolk and sac clear as day. Despite the 1 day difference to my LMP (have a good idea of when I ovulated too) I wasn’t too worried as measurements are inaccurate I know!

They then booked us in for a 7 weeks reassurance scan for 10 days’ time. At this scan all we saw was a sac and what could have possibly been an embryo or a yolk, the sonographer wasn’t sure what it was. Either way, there was at least growth since time before however, rather than being 7 weeks I was only 6+5 according to the sac size (she didn’t measure the embryo/sac).

I left that EPU in tears, what was even harder was walking past all the other pregnant women, all the women waiting to go into labour / coming into labour and all the newborn babies about the place. I didn’t want to feel jealousy or selfishness but I did.

Sonographer told us not to get our hope up but to come back in 7 days’ time so they can find out what is going on. So my 3rd scan is booked for Friday with the NHS.

But tomorrow, Thursday, I do have a private scan booked. This was meant to be an early reassurance scan so I could feel comfortable telling everyone at Xmas time as my 12 week scan is post Xmas. I really want to go to this scan tomorrow, I cant bare 2 more sleepless nights and another whole day of anxiety and fear of the unknown. However my mum is telling me I am stupid for wanting to continue with the private scan, she said I will be having to go through the bad news twice in 1 week. But my rationale is at least then I only have 1 more night of unknown and I can walk into that pregnancy/labour ward knowing my fate and prepare myself for what comes next?

Today I have had awful cramps, feels like my lower abdomen is on fire and so twisty. I have also had more spotting too so I am not feeling hopeful. I know that scan dates are inaccurate but even at 6+5 surely they should be able to make out what exactly it is in the sac and have a good chance of seeing a heartbeat?

I just wanted to say best of luck whatever you decide to do. I know if it was me, I'd go to the scan tomorrow. Like you say, if you go tomorrow then you already know what the news is going to be on Friday. Fingers crossed it all works out, keep us updated xxx

Thank you First . Just feel so alone and DH is being so useless about it all and he is on night shift too so don't even have him around to distract me. Xx

@TwittleBee you must do what you feel will help you the most. If it's going to the scan tomorrow, do it. I would be doing it if I were you. I'm keeping everything crossed for you that you has good news tomorrow. The cramping and spotting could be your little bean settling in for the journey. I hope it is. Much love xx

Thank you MakeAWhish I just have had so much now and surely implantation bleeding should stop as you near 8 weeks? The sonographer 1st time round said it's common up to 7 weeks, not after xx

Some women bleed throughout pregnancy. I'm just keeping everything crossed for you. What are you count tonight, to take your mind off it? Have you a friend you could meet up with? Or a film to immerse yourself in? Xx

I guess, but I didn't with DS though MakeAWhish ? Plus I'm on meds, which I have now stopped taking, which increase chance of slowed growth and miscarriage. So hard to not be upset in front of DS.

I've no one i am really that close to. I did ask my mum but she didnt even reply to my message despite her reading it. We did have a bit of a tiff this morning i guess though xx

😢 use DS as your distraction for now. Can you reach out to your mum and tell her how upset you are? I'm so sorry ☹️ xx

What type of place are you going to tomorrow? Is it a medical facility or just like the ones they have in the back of Mothercare? The private scan I had was in a private medical facility and I was scanned by senior medical professional so I know if it was bad news I would have been in the right place, that might be something to consider? If it was another week I'd say go, but given it's a day I think you'd be best waiting so you're at the hospital with the right support around you and next steps clearly explained. Keeping everything crossed for you though x

Hi OP, this is my scan at 7w1d, so 3 days ahead of what you measured at. Hopefully you can measure this up against what you saw at yours and see if it's similar or not. We really couldn't see much, just a splodge.

Hoping for a good outcome for you.

I'd also go tomorrow. I wouldn't be able to wait to be honest!

I don't think my mum really gets it MakeAWhish

It's a private medical facility, not in a shop or anything babydreamer1

My scan didn't look anywhere near as good at your one TokenGinger Your scan pic is what my 7 week scan with DS looked like. This scam was literally just a tiny little circle which looked like the yolk sac still but coloured in this time.

Thank you all xx

Wishing you all the luck in the world

I would hold off for the hospital one if I were you. That way, if the worst happens, you're in the right place for support and don't have to go through it all twice or have to explain anything.

If you thought you were 7 weeks but measured 6+5 hopefully your dates are just slightly out and you'll get good news. It's really hard to measure things in the early days I believe. Crossing everything for you.

Thank you rainbowruthie

Oh I wish I could do that toasterstrudle but I just can't do another whole day of this unknown. I just want to get it over with. And I know there is only 2 days between 7 weeks and 6+5 but sonographers measured the sac as 6+5, the small blob inside she said still looked like just a yolk so she wasn't convinced it was growing.

What time is your scan today TwittleBee? Do let us know how you get on and wishing you loads of luck xxx

Thinking of you today and hoping for good news xx

Thank you but it was bad news. The guy doing the scan was lovely and did explain to me that it is a silent miscarriage. He said I need to go to the EPU tomorrow though and they will explain everything to me on next steps. My sac has grown again but there is still no heartbeat.

Oh no, I'm so sorry. I hope you've got someone with you supporting you. Take care xxx

sorry for your loss, OP.

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I had a silent miscarriage in April, it's heartbreaking. I had the surgery and, for what it's worth, I found the certainty of a date and what would happen gave me a little control over the situation. It was a very tough time. Thinking of you.

I'm so sorry, that is so sad, sending you kind thoughts

So sorry to hear that TwittleBee, thinking of you

I'm so sorry OP. It must be so hard to take in xx