Can you have too much help as a new parent?

[corinne97]

I am due to have my first baby in a couple of weeks and everyone around me is already being very helpful. However, sometimes it makes me slightly uncomfortable when people make themselves too at home in my house. For example when I have guests over everyone wants to do things for me the cooking or housework. I am so grateful for this but I don't really like the idea of people rummaging around the house and preparing meals for me (very health conscious). I am scared that once the baby is born the house is going to be taken over by well meaning loved ones and I will have no control.

Am I being paranoid? Will I be glad of the help or has anyone felt a bit overwhelmed by it?

YANBU. I felt the same way with my first DS. I live abroad without any family around. My parents came to stay with my husband and I for a week when my DS was 3 days old. I felt awkward and stalked constantly as my parents are very judgy people.
I wish I didn't let them stay that long. I wish I would have allowed myself to get to know my baby before someone invades my home and takes over control. Not to mention that my husband hated every second of it - he felt he couldn't bond with his son due to judgy parents around.

Be honest to your friends and family and give them boundaries. Those early days with your newborn are important for bonding. Help is good as long as it doesn't intervene with your home comfort. Xx

Boundaries are hugely important but so is accepting help. Just having someone there to hold the baby for an hour while you shower is really valuable to have. Don't be too hasty in deciding now what you might or might not need after you've given birth, it's so life changing you can't know how you will feel after baby is here.

I held the line with my mother (much to her disgust) that although I welcomed her desire to help that it should be when it was helpful rather than the week I got home from hospital. I said that it would be really helpful to come at week 6 (ish) when we had settled down as a new family of 3, had run down the freezer, when dh was back at work, and sleep deprivation had kicked in. The world was horrified but it really, really worked and, in the end, coming when ds was 6 weeks was fab. She also felt properly useful.