Midwife a bit useless??

[Merrz]

Anyone else feel like their Midwife is a bit useless? I'm 32 weeks, my midwife is really nice but she has given me no information about anything, she didn't even advise me about my flu jab, if i hadn't asked she would never have mentioned it. Every appointment i go in, she checks urine sample and blood pressure, had measured my bump the last 2 appointments then sends me on my way.
I don't know what i really expect but my friend said her midwife has been discussing hospital bag/birth plan etc but my midwife has never mentioned any of these things

Three babies every midwife ive had has been useless. Id find out everything you need to know elsewhere.

Make a list of anything you need to know and ask her.
I'm sure she'll be happy to reassure you.
She probably assumes you already know unless you ask.
Don't be afraid to discuss your worries with her. It's her job to answer any questions you may have and reassure you.

Ive always read up online each time. babycentre.co.uk is good

31 here and feel the same about my midwife - she's just very clinical I think. I've lots of apps downloaded which have been very helpful, and mumsnet has been so handy too! Rather than get wound up about how good/bad the midwife has been, it's much more important to get knowledgable about what you want to know. Even if it's googling "what do I need to know with a newborn" (guilty!) best of luck to us!

I kept thinking it must just be because i'm early on, there's not much for her to tell me at this stage but surely by 32 weeks there's things to tell you. She told me i would be seeing her more frequently now but booked my next appointment for 4 weeks time so it's not any more frequent.
I start Antenatal classes this week so going to see how informative they are, they'll be finished by the next time i see the midwife so might make a list of things to ask her then.
Thanks for the advise, i'll have a look on babycentre.co.uk

Most new mums read widely and watch all the programs about what they need to take to hospital, what to expect during the birth etc. I would imagine that your Midwife thinks you probably know all of these things, however, if it's bothering you why don't you make a list of things you want to know and ask her.

I didn't warm to any of my midwives tbh but I had straightforward pregnancies and easy births so I don't think I needed to have a close relationship with them. They were there to do their job and did it (mostly). I also found it strange that you never got to build up a proper relationship with the midwives who were going to help you through one of the the most important things in your life but that is what you get on the NHS unfortunately, little continuity of care.

Yeah seems to be the case @redastherose i have read a fair bit on line and the Ready Steady Baby book the midwife gave me at booking in appointment is good so i don't feel totally clueless but like you say think i just expected to have a closer relationship with my midwife and really feel like she was there to support me which i don't feel like at all.

Do you have an appointment schedule in your notes? This should break down what the content of each appointment should be. So for example the 28 week appointment says:

"At this visit midwife will check urine and BP, check baby's growth and heart rate. She will take blood to check your iron levels. If your blood group is rhesus negative, she will take a blood sample to check your blood for antibodies and you will be offered an injection of Anti-D."

The 34 week appointment will talk about responsive parenting and feeding baby. The 36 week appointment is set aside for birth planning.

At least if you know what to expect from each appointment you will know if she's missing anything she should be telling you.

Have you had/been told about the Whooping Cough vaccination?

In my day we didn't have a midwife to ourself. We went to the doctors or to the hospital. All seems strange to me. Just saying, don't expect or want any replies.

Midwives were at the hospital when giving birth and afterwards, community midwives coming to house- were all good.

I didn't like my last midwife. She looked down her nose at me and treated me like how dare i get pregnant when i have x, y and z health conditions! I'm pregnant again and ive actually put off letting the gp know so i go as long as possible without having to see her!
Unfortunately because it is a high risk pregnancy I can't put it off too long.

It is a shame when you don't get one you feel close to or one that makes you feel like a 'patient to be processed and pumped out the door'.

You should definitely try just asking some questions, open up about how you feel, scared or excited, nervous and she might open up too 😊 x

I felt like my booking in midwife was a bit useless because she kept typing in the wrong information and I had to keep correcting her. At one point she tried to record my thyroid problem - which I don't have and nothing of the sort was mentioned!

I googled her name and it turns out she won midwife of the year at some point so I'm guessing she just had a bad day. All the other midwives at my hospital have been brilliant.

I’m nearly 39 weeks and have had no advice at all. I haven’t been asked if I’m planning to breastfeed, I wasn’t asked if I wanted to attend antenatal classes and so missed the time I had to sign up by (they won’t accept you if you’re over 34 weeks where I am!). I was referred to birth choices due to being consultant lead and having anxiety around birth decisions I have to make and was told that they’re fully booked until a month after my due date! I tried to create a birth plan but they said they didn’t really do birth plans and that I just tell the hospital what I want when I’m in labour...

I don’t think it’s my midwife’s fault as she’s been quite good but the services just don’t seem to be available and I feel like I’ve been completely left out in the cold. Durning my last growth scan the baby was above the 90th percentile and I was told I had to give birth on a consultant lead unit- no discussion, no evaluation of the risks and I left without getting to speak to the consultant while being told an appointment would be sent to me in the post. I won’t see anyone now until I’m 39+6, which is my next growth scan.

Mine does the same... BP, urine check and measures bump then sends me on my way! Perfect for me, I’m happy with that approach. I do my own research on everything else.
Maybe take in a list of things you want to discuss?

My midwife team (never saw the same one twice) were not good. One told me I'd tested positive for human parvo virus, but she didn't know what that was. I was getting very upset and she basically opened Google, looked it up and said oh, slapped cheek syndrome, we'll just let us know if you don't feel well, I suppose. And she then wasted the rest of the appointment mumbling on about how she had no idea why they'd test me for that, did I know? Of course I didn't fucking know. And she buggered off and left me for ages to see if she could find the midwife who'd done my blood tests (she couldn't). I left the appointment in floods of tears, and a student MW who'd been at one of my appointments stopped me to ask what was wrong. I told her, she said you'll have tested positive for slapped cheek antibodies, meaning you once had it and are now immune, you're OK. She spoke to the head midwife later, who looked at my notes and phoned me to confirm that the student MW was right. So why couldn't the experienced MW I saw have told me?

The next appointment I got a telling off for not having had the whooping cough jag (nobody had told me). I complained and got changed to another MW team.

It's reassuring to know others are in the same boat. @TheSubtleKnifeAndFork no i don't think i have this, looks like it would be handy through. The only notes i have are on my maternity app I'm in Scotland so not sure if this is different elsewhere?

Yes i've had my whooping cough vaccine, only because there was a leaflet in my pack about it.

Every midwife I have came across in this pregancy has been uselesss ! So much so I know only deal with the high risk doctors because I kept “failing threw the net”

Mine did my birth plan with me at my 36 week appointment. My antenatal appointments were mainly just BP, urine, listen and measure bump though. I got given information on feeding, SIDS etc. from the health visitor.

The midwives did an antenatal class to discuss all the labour/birth stuff and the health visitors ran a set of two parentcraft classes.

Mine is completely useless. Never gives useful advice about anything, just talks about her holidays, and to top it all off when I got diagnosed with placenta accreta just said "good luck and I'll see you after the baby is born". Luckily the hospital has been looking after me and doing my antenatal care!

My community midwife is beyond useless. She does the bare minimum, never chases anything up (samples, health visitor referrals, etc) and I literally think my visits to her are pointless.

Luckily I'm consultant led and in a really good hospital so they have picked up the slack.

That's a shame OP - this link might be useful if you are in Scotland: www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/pregnancy-and-baby/pregnancy/tests-scans-and-checks

It refers to the NICE guidelines for antenatal care, which you can download from the link below - which outlines the information you should be given and by which stage of pregnancy. Hope that helps!

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/CG62

I haven't been asked about my birth plan and won't see midwife again til 39+3 (currently 37+1).

However I have made my partner and mum aware of my wishes so I not too worried about it.

I am consultant led and the only thing mentioned at my last appointment was if I had spoken to anestatist yet and when I asked why would I need this as never mentioned before then she went away and spoke to the consultant and came back just saying that was an old policy.

In my first pregnancy my midwives were really experienced and on the ball. The two I had were great and I had total confidence in them. This time round I’ve got someone in her first community post and she’s totally scatty. She’s never been able to work out the date chart and generally hasn’t got a clue about what she’s meant to be doing (and tells me that too). If I’m worried about anything I’ll just bypass her and go to triage but I’m slightly worried she hasn’t referred me for a consultant appointment when she should have done.

I’m in a pool - haven’t seen the same midwife twice.. I have no-one I can ask anything to, if I email it takes a week to respond, if I call I’m on hold for 2 hours then I give up. No idea what I’d do if there was something serious. It feels hugely isolating.

@TheSubtleKnifeAndFork thank you for those links that's very helpful.

I just feel a bit clueless and don't feel like my midwife is any support really. Sounds like a lot of people getting the same treatment though.

Had fairly positive experiences with my community midwife but have been attending more hospital appointments lately due to baby being breech. Had a very scatty midwife at my pre CS appointment who almost forgot to give me my Zantac to take beforehand, amongst other things being rude when i asked about consultant presence during elective c section. I am hoping it was just a bad day