to all those with dd's what would you do with a mil thats obsessed with weight

[kittenbaby]

well my mil she is nice and we do get on quite well
but shes very paranoid about weight
shes always moaning about how she wants to lose weight etc, shes coming up for 60 and weighs maybe 10 stone ish so shes not over weight imo
but she likes to go on about it
my mum has a really good attitude to food and has never been on a diet at all and has never made me feel over aware of my body figure
they both weight about the same

my point is i want my dd to grow up feeling happy and confident i dont want mil bad influence making her feel i must be slim i must be slim !!
because theres alot of pressure on girls to be really slim

she can be a bit rude at times she said to me last night, how much do you weigh now?

i replied 11 and a half stone im 38 weeks and 5ft 5
i weighed about 9-9 and a half stone before pregnancy so as far as im concerned this is just about spot on.
although i think she thinks its way too big
and she goes oh my god !!you dont do you ?
then started shouting over to fil who was chatting to my dh about something else can you believe it she weights 11 and a half stone!! shes catching up with you !!!
i wouldnt dream of asking somone 38 weeks pregnant how much they weigh
if they tell you its different but to ask

joash has she ever said sorry about the outrageous things she comes out with ?i cant believe the things shes said to your lovely dd esp when she knows that shes

rhubarb thats is exactley the sort of comment 'your huge for x amount of weeks' what point is there saying that to anyone?
would she prefer it if i didnt eat and her gd had a low birth weight!!
actually she prob bloody would !
ive just realised shes a bit nuts lol !
xx

Haven't read all of the posts but your mil sounds a bit weight obsessed. Remember you're the one with the healthy attitude as regards weight, she's the one who's a bit obssessional. I too have a mum who has never dieted and I never have either. Hoping dd will be the same.

joash when shes had problems with eatting disorders in the past

hi ranting x
your right she more likely to be influenced by me isnt she x

I think so, Kittenbaby. Hold the thought that you're a perfect role model, when she's waffling on about how many calories are in a salad.

When your mil is waffling, I meant, not your dd

My parents have an ace attitude to food too, the only advice I was ever given is everything in moderation.

Have a DS, (not sure what the bump is going to be), but I still want him to grow up with a fantastic body image if at all possible.

DH's family is another matter entirely. MIL seems to have no idea about nutrition with the result that MIL & FIL both have heart disease even though they aren't overweight, (they do a lot of walking though). DH also has a very, very negative body image which is a shame because I think he's gorgeous!

SIL is pretty good though. When I was pg with DS and my MIL kept making comments about me getting fat she would say something like "she's never been fat in her life, its a baby in there mum not fat". I think my SIL is fantastic!

Even though I've asked my, very well intentioned, MIL not to talk about food in a negative way ie oh, this is naughty, or to give him sugar-free stuff, I still catch her doing it. Thankfully DH is on my side and puts her right!

As for the word FAT, I can't stand it either and have asked her not to say it in front of DS several times and have explained the reasons. Last time she said it in front of him I asked her very politely but in a loudish voice so that everyone could hear, "Please don't use the F-word in front of him". Poor old love nearly fell off her chair, but it shut her up

If you'd like to tell your mother in law something to make her blink and crash just tell her that Agnes weighs 18 stone

Oh, and that's after losing three since December

Agnes

Nope -the woman doesn't think she's done anything wrong!!!

I've got the opposite problem, I've lost a lot of weight after the birth as one year on i'm still bfeeding, and with dd running around now I am much more active than before her birth,always on walks etc and as a result I'm now a size 12 rather than a 14 and 5'11 but I eat like a horse.

Mil, very overweight by the way, keeps harping on about how much weight I've lost. She is not very active and West Indian, and of a culture that does not appreciate skinniness! Dh also agrees with her, to some extent. Said mil has, incidentally, been warned by the doctor to lose weight1 She can't even bend down to sit on the floor to have a picnic in the park!

I pointed out that on my side of the family, everyone is slightly built and that my mother is very happy with how I am, I feel healthy, if somewhat tired by all the running round.

Maybe you could point out that too much talk of weight is not healthy and try to bring in your side of the family to counter things up a bit

Joash, I just scanned back to see what your mother in law had said. I am shocked and stunned. She sounds like an insensitive old whore-bag!

I'm sending virtual-wet-kipper-slaps your way to use when needed.

Agnes

LOL - thanks for that Agnes.

No problems. I've got an infinite supply of those things next to my PC

Agnes

lol at agnesnit could you snd me a wet kipper slap 2 !!
id love to use that xxx

just to reignite this thread 4 weeks after i had my lovely baby girl mil said to me
have you lost much weight !!
i just said i dont know ,i dont have any scales and i dont care!
but ffs what a qustion to ask somone before and after birth

see op for what she said to me when i was 38 weeks pregnant,had baby girl at 38+3