Gender Shock at 20 week scan

[Lovefurypassion]

Hello - I’ve name changed 🙈

Firstly I just wanted to know if anybody else has experienced this. Please don’t make me feel guilty as I already do. Me and my DP found out the sex yesterday and we’d literally been counting the days down. My DP was adamant he wanted a boy and I completely believed I was having a boy too, my friends, family and work friends all thought the same. I’d even bought little boy outfits last week as I was that adamant.

Now, yesterday my DP was over the moon it was a little girl (who appears to be healthy - great news) I was told I have a slight low lying placenta (which I think worried me but I’ll come back to that!) but as soon as we dropped DPs mum off, I burst into tears!

DP was abit confused as he thought I’d be happy either way (which I did too!) but it just didn’t seem real that I was having a girl. I then got myself worked up because I felt awful I was even thinking it and guilty talking about it. I went shopping last night and bought a few pink clothes etc, I feel better & im really looking forward to her being here now. But I just feel so guilty about yesterday. Did anyone else experience this? My hormones are crazy at the moment is this another case of them?

I’m also concerned over my placenta they think it will move so having another scan at 35 weeks to check. I really don’t want a c section the thought of surgery terrifies me.

Totally understand I was convinced as was my partner we were having a little girl so when we were told a little boy there was a brief moment of feeling like I had lost the little girl I was meant to be having. But within that day I started to think about the little boy I was gaining. I don’t feel guilty though, as like you I sense the baby is so loved regardless of sex but just you get an idea in your head picture the future and it is taken away for a brief second... doesn’t take long to fill with a new future though.

I had a low lying placenta too..as your uterus grows the placenta moves with it, just had a completely natural healthy birth yesterday. Hopefully you will have the same. They are great though as they keep an eye on it, and if it doesn’t move they will look after you baby will be fine x x

I'm sorry but why on earth would you assume it was a boy and start buying outfits?

@Middlrm

Thanks for your reply it’s appreciated! Glad I’m not the only one, I had little google when I got home but threads were really old and I just wanted some nice words! Congratulations on your little one! Hope you are baby are okay xx

I'm sorry but why on earth would you assume it was a boy and start buying outfits?

Well... this really! Why on earth would you assume it’s a boy and buy outfits when the outcome was obviously 50;50? Based on a hunch?!
Anyway, no need to feel guilty. Your unborn baby has no idea that you had a brief wobble when you found out it was a girl. I just really don’t understand the being adamant it was a boy thing!

I'm sorry, I know you're looking for kind words but I find this mentality really bizarre. Congratulations on your healthy baby.

My placenta was slightly low too, it wasn’t a problem in the end.

As for your upset over the sex, you are being ridiculous. I suspect you know that though.

@peachypetite

Thanks for taking that ONE comment out of 2 actual issues I was talking about. Very smooth and appreciate you taking the time to point that out. always wonder why people like you post little, pointless comments what don’t help? What were you trying to achieve? Yes I bought 3 outfits last week as I was sure I was having a boy, I’m pretty sure I’m not the first woman in the world to think I’m having a particular sex and going out to buy some clothes.

But guess what? I have a wonderful, paper item called a receipt which I will be using today to take them items back

Don't worry OP, it sounds like this was a shock for you but I think that from now on you'll be fine!

I do understand OP. I was told at 20 weeks it was a girl, but at 36 weeks a scan revealed a penis. There was a bit of grief there, for the girl I'd imagined, who would have been dd2. But within a day or so, I was excited for my ds, and he's a fabulous one year old now.

I’m sorry but I really don’t understand this at all. Many people close to me have struggled to conceive and would be thankful for any baby or look at the number of threads with women who’ve had terrible news at their scans... a boy or girl is a blessing.

The point of mentioning that one comment (if it wasn’t important then why put it in there?) was basically just to point out that you were kind of setting yourself up for a disappointment. I don’t personally know anyone who has bought gendered clothes before finding out the sex of the baby, as there would be a 50% chance of being wrong. Maybe it does happen a lot though, who knows? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Honestly? No, people dont assume. They buy gender neutral clothes or wait until they have a scan. That's an unusual thing to do OP, sorry.

Still, all's well that ends well. Baby is healthy. Father is happy. Youve gotnthe receipts. Its bor al to feel overwhelmed when you find out the gender asit brings home the reality that you will be having an actual new person.

normal

I agree it's an odd thing to do to assume the sex of your child and buy gendered clothing. Why did you think you were having a boy? That's what I don't understand!

Congratulations!

Haha bloody hell ive bought 3 items of boy clothes - have you heard of a receipt? Honestly you are talking asif I’ve bought a full wardrobe- I’m pretty sure other people will have done this just because you haven’t.

I know I was being ridiculous and should I have read this thread not having this feeling, I would be thinking wtf. However, as I questioned in the thread originally, was this just a case of the hormones playing havoc. I never would have thought I’d be the one crying, I thought my DP would have been a little upset but he was over joyed - maybe that made me more upset because I knew I should have reacted like him. Idk. It’s an unusual reaction I know

I just want to point out this was a feeling of around 3 hours and I’m truely very grateful for the little girl I will have. I just wanted to know if anybody else had recently felt like this, not be jumped on for buying three outfits fit for a boy 7 days ago 😂

OP, it was probably the uneasiness coming from hearing about the placenta thing, combined with hormones. Give it a couple of days and you'll feel better - and once baby is safely here you'll feel daft about how you felt!

No one is jumping on you for buying three outfits, you can buy what you want. Juay trying to figure out why you would assume it was a boy to the extent that you bought things, when (obviously) the odds are 50:50.
Anyway you’re happy with your choice to buy the clothes so no point debating it further really!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Agree with some of the others. You've set yourself up for disappointment by buying boys clothes. I'm convinced I'm having a girl this time (nothing to do with preference as we honestly don't care what sex we have) but I'm certainly not going out and buying a load of dresses, etc. I know the baby could very well be a boy which I'd be thrilled with as I've always loved the through of two sons

I'm sorry you're feeling this way but just be grateful that your baby is healthy.

You know your little girl can still wear boy outfits and it won’t harm her ;)

Congratulations and I hope you manage to adjust soon.

It was probably less about the gender and more about the scan, yes they're exciting but also stressful and worrying- I'd chalk it up to emotions being high and not give it another thought op- congratulations too

I always feel really uneasy on these threads when people's partners are 'adamant' they want a particular sex and the woman is worried they'll be unhappy if it's not the 'right' one. I find it really sad, tbh, that a pregnant woman needs to be worried about her partner's reaction to what genitals their baby has :(

Personally I've never bought clothes before knowing the sex but we're all different. God knows I had some strong and peculiar urges when pregnant and your thread reads as no different to this. From what you've said it just sounds like a shock as opposed to disappointment. As you say though, you're over that and are moving on so I wouldn't dwell on it. It sounds like one of the delights of hormones.

Afraid I don't have any experience of a low lying placenta.

@Lovefurypassion I had a low lying placenta with two of my three. It adjusted its position in time for labour so it might not be an issue.

I have to say though that I have never heard of anyone buying gender specific outfits before a scan could confirm as much as they can.

Congratulations on your daughter hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well

@SoyDora

The point of mentioning that one comment (if it wasn’t important then why put it in there?)

Literally it is one comment. I am talking about 2 issues, I still don’t understand why people are going on like I’ve went crazy and stocked up on everything blue. They were reduced items I came across in TK Max - I didn’t go out of my way to think I’ll buy some boy clothes. They were nice, cheap & with a week to go until I found out - I bought them. Yeah maybe an impulse buy - I wouldn’t be jumping on somebody for doing that. I wouldn’t do it again tho but still think it’s not an important part of this discussion.

I’ve seen threads on here before of people always saying they’ve had gut feelings, I had one too. I don’t know what else you want me to say? I was initially shocked but I’m over it now.

@le42
I agree and you don’t know my own struggles either as I havent posted that. As I’ve said it was initial feeling and I immediately thought how ungrateful I was being - which made me more upset. Gender disappointment actually popped up in an article on my app the other day - so it’s a thing. I’ve said I’m happy with the girl I have on the way - it was an initial feeling!

I don’t want you to say anything else , that’s why I said this...

Anyway you’re happy with your choice to buy the clothes so no point debating it further really!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy