AIBU? (Work dilemma)

[nic01234]

Sorry long story!

Background: My colleague and I are friendly/civil, but have very different approaches, which is usually not a problem because we work in different locations. She has on occasion tried to take credit for others' work, which I have raised politely with my boss as 'she can be competitive at times'.

I'm 14w pregnant. Told my two bosses and colleague earlier in the week. Said 'I'm telling key people but not broadcasting it at this stage.' (I lost a pregnancy at 16w earlier in the year so being very cautious).

Found out today that my colleague announced my news at a meeting yesterday. No one in the room needed to know (aside from bosses who already did).

I'm absolutely furious as it was not her news to tell, and I said I wasn't broadcasting it yet! I can't tell if she was just being insensitive or actually manipulative (ie once again trying to push me out).

Phoned my boss this afternoon and he said 'oh I'm sure she didn't mean it maliciously' and wanted to leave it at that. I want him to talk to her as IMO it was inappropriate and a massive breach of trust. He knows of my precious history.

AIBU?! What would you do in this situation?

YANBU!!!

If you make a formal complaint against her then your boss HAS to pull her up on it - that is no ok especially when you specifically said “I am not broadcasting it” your colleague sounds like a massive bitch

Haha thank you!! I've tried for a long time to be friendly and polite because it just makes work easier! But I really feel this was a step too far. I just can't imagine why she thought it was ok to do this?!!

Also don't trust my own judgement as my pregnancy hormones are making me crazy!! Lol

I’d make a formal complaint. She shared personal medical information that you had made clear was not to be shared with a wider audience.

This is a horrible situation, and your colleague was WAY out of order. I sympathise massively. However, Professionally, it's not your boss' issue. He can't discipline someone for what is essentially gossiping or spreading information. Plus there's nothing he or you can do to "undo" it either /: you need to have a chat with her yourself and explain - then basically tell her if she's to do it again to you or to anyone else it's going to jeopardise working relationships which could lead to much worse.

Check policy in your work place. Mine specifically says that if you know of a pregnancy because you are a supervisor then you cannot disclose unless with express permission.

YANBU - however “I am not broadcasting it yet” does sound slightly vague. Did you specifically tell her not to tell anyone?

I think she should have kept quiet but I think it will be hard for your boss to talk to her if you didn’t make that clear because she can just claim she misunderstood - in my experience people who behave like that are generally very good at manipulating the situation to get themselves out of trouble.

Sorry for your previous loss and best wishes for your pregnancy.

She was in the wrong but since you didn’t explicitly ask them all not to tell others you don’t have strong grounds to complain.

@sirmione16 actually the boss could decide to discipline staff for this sort of gossip. Although they might not have to as this could potentially be seen as a data breach. If I was the OP I would consider it as such and make that clear in my complaint.

@GemmeFatale depends on their staff policy. Mine wouldn't include it, nothing formal could be done. I can understand if others do though. IMO they should

Thanks for all your support and advice everyone! I've had the weekend to calm down a little, and have a clear plan to discuss with boss tomorrow morning.