In need of a hand hold - missed mc?

[Hopefulirishmammy]

Hi all,
Having a shitty morning. Had always been told I’d struggle to conceive. Ttc for over 18 months unsuccessfully, found it difficult, career opportunities came up and we took a break. Then one month after beginning again got BFP. Was over the moon.

LMP 17th September, positive clear blue digital dating 1-2wks on 21st of October (our fifth wedding anniversary... beyond delighted). Another dating 2-3 the following week. I thought I was 7-8 weeks pregnant and felt all was going well, however private scan (meant for reassurance) on 9th november dated me at 5.2ish. Healthy for 5+ weeks. Early but not impossible. Was gutted. Took some time. There is a chance with pcos that dates could be wrong. Cautiously held onto some hope.

Since then, have all symptoms - bloating/gas, sore boobs, occasional nausea, white discharge, bleeding gums, headaches, only wanting to eat carbs or nothing - the joys of early pregnancy! They felt like they matched with potentially earlier dates and I was just beginning to relax, when I wiped pink over night. One small blood clot, now pink/purple discharge, only when I wipe. Nothing major but my mantra for getting through the two week wait for the viability scan has been “I’ve not had a bleed, we don’t know anything for certain”. Now..:I feel gutted and empty. I’m scared.

I rang the EPU - they won’t see me until I’m filling multiple pads. Meaning I just have to wait but it’s so shitty and hard. Had to ring into work as healthcare field and wouldn’t be in the right space to care as I should.
I’m struggling with the fact that I’m an emotional mess and feel rather alone. It feels like this has been a struggle the whole way through and the idea of having to start over is terrifying. I feel like a toddler throwing a strop “I don’t want it to be like this...it’s not fair”. I know that’s not rational but it sucks. Is it awful that I’m reaching a point where I just want to know?

@Hopefulirishmammy

Don't panic , small bleeds are common, it's not all over yet! If the docs were concerned they would have seen you straight away. Try and stay positive , keep busy today xxx

Can't imagine what you're going through, crossing my fingers for you!

If you're still getting your sickness etc then you're still producing pregnancy hormones so id take a positive from that.

Spotting is normal, but have you thought about a referral from your GP as opposed to going straight to EPU? My gp referred me the same day when I had some cramps and all was fine.

Thinking of you xx

Don’t give up hope yet.
Though some of these stories don’t have positive outcomes, some do.
I knew someone who had an early scan and it was measuring 9 days earlier then she thought. By the time she had a 12 week Scan, she’d caught up and added a couple of extra days.
They are so small at that stage that it’s difficult to get perfect measurements.
I know it’s absolute hell and I really feel for you, especially after trying for so long.
But pcos can make everything very irregular and can mean you ovulated later then you maybe thought.
Also, I’m 35 weeks pregnant and I’ve had bleeding throughout my pregnancy. Sometimes red blood and sometimes old brown blood/spotting. It doesn’t always mean the worst.
Keeping everything crossed for you x x

Just to say thank you for responding, it’s helped to feel less alone. Trying to relax and have a day that I’m nice to myself (while stopping myself from endlessly googling!). Logically I know wait and see is the only answer. Very much appreciate the thoughts and understanding. Makes me feel my feelings are ok! Xx

@magicalcreatures hope the last few weeks go well X

Aww, so sorry you are feeling like this. Just please please be reassured that a missed MC is extremely uncommon... something like 1% of pregnancies end in mmc.

And also remember that spotting is very common in early pregnancy. You're still having sickness, etc, and that means your hormone levels are high.

Also, at 5 week scans they might not be very accurate if it was a reassurance scan.

I had an early reassurance scan and was told I was only 5 weeks, which led me to worry for the next 6 weeks until my next scan, which confirmed I was a week ahead. The sonographer told me they didn't measure the embryo at 6 weeks and just guessed 5 because it was a reassurance scan, not a dating scan.

I really wish you the best and hope you get good news at your next scan!

Currently 15+4 after 2 miscarriages (one at 14 weeks mmc) I've had 3 gigantic bleeds so far this pregnancy 2 with big clots and baby is still ok. Fingers very tightly crossed for you xxx

OP, I don't understand how you've worked out your dates. The scans date you correctly based on the CB. If on the 21st October, you were 1-2 on a CB, that dates you at 3-4 weeks. Therefore, when you had your scan on the 9th November, you were in the week where you were meant to be 5-6 weeks. Maybe closer to six, but certainly not the 7-8 you estimated. Are you basing that on your LMP? If so, you likely just ovulated late. At that stage, it's so easy to be a mm out, which can change the date by a good few days. Dates wise, I honestly think you have nothing to worry about 💜

I've had a little bleed too and baby is still baking away just fine.

Sending lots of love x

I had a MMC they happen a lot more than people realise there is a good thread in the misscriage session. EPAU is rubbish at seeing people I always went via ED or GP as I wanted to be seen.

@Michelle0507 sorry to hear. And tips are always welcome. It seems so strange that you get left totally alone in the process. If I get worse my plan is straight to ED asGO doesn’t want to know unfortunately!

@tokenginger thank you ☺️ you’re right re dates. Originals were based on LMP, but I was pretty sure I knew ovulation and due to DH being away for a week mid oct, 6 weeks I would have expected, but 5.2 was a bit early for my liking. But I’m so aware that tiny differences could make it all make sense!! Hence the fingers crossed.

It’s just scary to want something so much and not be at all in control of the process. It’s also not my first loss - only other pregnancy was as a teenager, and was an honestly welcome early miss at the time. A decade and a half later it feels so different! Unfortunately, I’ve no framework for what it feels like to be going right; so everything feels unsettling.

Thank you all for sharing stories. I know it’s a mixed bag of excitement and fear, hope and heartbreak for so many people. I think I had so little expectations of falling pregnant that I hadn’t quite imagined this stage would be so tough. Appreciate the thoughts xx

Hi all,
Just wanted to say thanks for the support. Unfortunately, I naturally began to bleed properly yesterday and my pre-booked viability scan confirmed our loss (placenta at 9/10 weeks, baby probably stopped before earlier scan). Gutted but know just getting pregnant for us is progression and have my fingers crossed for our future. Just wanted to say thanks, your stories meant a lot! Best of luck in the months ahead and to happy and healthy babies xx

SO sorry to read your sad news. Be kind to yourself x

I'm so sorry OP