Excluded from works Christmas party

[Lauann]

Hi everyone,
Just wondering what your thoughts are?

A couple weeks ago I offered to book a table at a tapas restaurant for my sections Christmas do.
As I would have been 30 weeks pregnant by the time the do comes around, I asked if we could have a table so I could sit and if we could go somewhere for food (always hungry 🐷😂 and also would take my mind off the fact I can't drink all night).
Not everyone wanted a big sit down meal some wanted just to drink, so between us
decided to book a table at a tapas bar so people could eat if they wanted and just pick.

I called in sick today, my boss replied and said within his text to cancel the table as they are meeting early instead at a bar and there will be no food involved.

I'm quite upset at this and must admit I had a little cry (although cry at everything lately) I've been so excited as I hardly go anywhere and had even managed to find a lovely dress for the occasion.
I now feel really excluded and think it's a bit mean.
I understand not everybody wants to eat and it's a Christmas do so everyone wants to drink I have no issues at all with that. It's just that I feel they have purposefully pushed me out.

Am I overthinking this? Am I being silly being so upset?
xx

Wow. Don’t like him much do you? Don’t go then. Work Christmas dos are grim!

@greendale17
Not at all, there was a voting page set up by someone else only they didn't want to book anything
Tapas bar was voted for ... I volunteered to book it

Just have some nice mocktails and wear your dress.

I find the whole sit down meal thing unnecessary. Not everyone can afford it too. If it's £30 pp and you want to bring a partner that's £60 before drinks and taxis home. It can end up a lot of money at an already expensive time of year. That's usually why I don't do the meals.

Don't take it personally. I'm sure it will be fun when you're there. And as for seeing your colleagues drunk when you're sober, that's got to be worth forgoing a meal for!

@Wolfiefan he's great actually I like him very much

@MyMumDimensionJumps
Haha you're right I suppose I could always take some incriminating photos and bribe them in to booking another night out again 😉😆

Yes the bar. Not a table.

Does this count as a work do or just a do for people from work? Usually workplaces encourage some food from a responsible drinking perspective.

@Wolfiefan
You don't book a bar 🙄
We booked a table to include other people that also said they wanted to have tapas

@Doyoumind
It's just a section get together there are a few that never eat just like to drink (my manager included)

Can you not still eat tapas if you don’t have a table? Either at the bar or at bar tables? Maybe they felt it would be unfair to the bar by booking a sit down table for your entire group if only a handful of people are eating at their busiest time of the year.

What’s with the attitude and eye rolling? They wanted to go to a tapas place. Your post said you wanted to reserve a table. They’ve made it clear they didn’t want that. It’s not your personal Christmas party. Most don’t want to eat so you don’t need a table. Don’t want to do what everyone else does? Don’t go.
And TBH I would much rather hear about other people’s pets than their kids. Would probably be much easier to arrange an evening out for the dogs too. They don’t do politics or perceived slights.

Christmas is an expensive time so I can understand people not wanting to eat out tbh - meeting for drinks is much cheaper than going for food.

In the nicest possible way I think you are overthinking things. It probably wouldn’t occur to most people to think that going for drinks rather than a meal would exclude you. Most bars have seating areas and the fact that you can’t drink alcohol shouldn’t stop you from having a good time.

I don’t think they should all have to change plans just because you are pregnant - I think being pregnant means you have to accept that you can’t always do everything as you did before, sorry.

I say this has someone who has just given birth and had a social job with various events that I attended whilst preggo up to 35 weeks. You're being daft. No one is excluding you, they just want to get pissed. They possibly felt like they had to vote to accommodate you whilst you were there, which is kind, but truthfully they just wanted a boozy afternoon. You just have to make it work for you. I used to eat like a pig beforehand, take snacks in my clutch for emergencies, heave myself on to a bar stool where others were standing and stay there, order bar snacks at my stool, then when I was tired get DH to pick me up and swing past a takeaway on the way home. Everyone will do all they can to include you on the day so just enjoy it!

@babydreamer1
They are already having a boozy do this was a section do the tapas bar wasn't even my initial idea
We had to vote out of a number of options of which a few were just bars
If that was what was initially decided then I just wouldn't have gone ... No issues with that as I understand some people just want to get pissed.
And to clarify I wasn't even in when the final decision was made I work part time.

Haha. I’m vile? And you wonder why they want to dissuade you from going?
And it’s “your” attitude.
You said in your OP you asked if you could book a table. Not that they asked you to.
They don’t want to sit down and have a meal with you. I can see why TBH.
Bye.

Off you pop and send yourself more messages. I’ve got better things to do than advance search you or tapas.

@Wolfiefan

Clearly not 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Off to collect eldest from school so kindly stop cluttering up my email with @ garbage.
I’m not a troll? Am I honest to gobshites who get a puppy from a puppy farmer and then dump it when they CBA anymore? Too right I am. Do I get heated about animal welfare? Too right.
Do I give a shit about tapas? No. The Christmas do isn’t all about you. They’re not excluding you. They’re just trying to get the do they want? Don’t like it? Make other plans. It’s not rocket science.
Off now before I’m late.

I think you're being over sensitive.

It sounds like people voted for the tapas bar thinking it would be drinks and nibbles at the bar and you pushed for it to be something closer to a sit down meal.

Unfortunately your wishes don't take precedence over the majority just because you're pregnant.

You are being daft and rude as your many deletions show.

Because the Christmas party got changed?

No. Because it ‘got changed’ when she wasn’t there, she wasn’t asked and she was simply told to cancel the table, and by email when she was off sick.

He didn’t even have to decency to tell her face to face. It was voted on & they pay for themselves. It’s not up to him where they go.

I think people just love getting really pissed at a Christmas party. I saw someone had the idea to meet your partner for dinner, I’d defo do that as people also get very boring the more they drink. Go for a couple hours and then head out to a lovely dinner. There’s only so many lemonades you can have ! 🙄 I try to have no alcohol beer in these situations but then I get horrendous heartburn - disaster haha!

Try not to take personally... some people are just all about the drinking!