Mental health and pregnancy - shocked to be signed off.

[CrabbyPatty]

Hi,

I've just come back from my obstetrician in a bit of shock. I'm under her due to being on 20mg Citalopram with a history of anxiety and depression mostly triggered by work related anxiety around my performance and perceptions of me. I also have family history of psychosis, but haven't experienced this myself. Over the past year or so I've been fine on the meds, but then the past few weeks (I'm currently 28 weeks pg) I just stopped being motivated and ended up getting paranoid resulting in me walking out of a meeting and taking a week off. I returned this week feeling well supported with reasonable adjustments and have just done a couple of days that I enjoyed however today I worked from home and just slumped - no concentration, no productivity, couldn't wake up, didn't bother to shower. I nearly didn't bother attending my consultant appointment. Its kind of on again off again. Some days I'm good others I'm not. I told the consultant how I'd been and they took my husband's view too. To be honest I'd rather not bother with the appointments but being pregnant I just want to ensure that it wont develop into PND and get in the way of me caring for the baby (I have absolutely no anxiety around having the baby, other than normal first time mum stuff and I'm super excited). Anyway, the Obs Consultant wrote me a sick note for 4 weeks for anxiety and depression! I didn't go to the appointment even thinking about taking further time off. They seemed adamant that I was experiencing depression and had burnt myself out (saving all my annual leave for after the baby - which I acknowledge is a factor and should have listened when people advised me not to). They also felt I was opening myself up to further issues because I might make a mistake at work (I do a risky high pressure job) Does the Dr's response sound a bit OTT? Or have I lost insight? My husband agrees with the Dr, but I also think he doesn't necessarily get how important work is to me and thinks its an easy solution. I only have about 2 months left so I just thought I'd power through work. And also, whilst my team and manager are supportive, I am concerned that I have a history of time off due to mental health. Any thoughts/advice/anything?

Hi @Crabbypatty I've never been pregnant but do have anxiety and depression. Do you think you're perhaps in denial about your symptoms flaring up? I know for me when I start getting depressed it takes me sometimes weeks before I'll accept it as I don't want to face the fact it's come back iyswim.

It does sound like you are suffering with your MH right now. Walking out of a meeting and needing to take a week off isn't what someone with good MH would do. And I really mean that in the nicest way possible.

What in particular worries you about having a history of time off? Do you feel despite the difficulties, work actually helps your MH and being off makes it worse?

Thanks for your response @PoesyCherish and don't worry I'd rather have honest views. Work is usually the trigger for my mental health - although its kind of a cycle because on this occasion I just got paranoid about what everyone thought of me in the meeting and couldn't cope with being there. Apparently what I'd actually contributed to the meeting was fine, but I was noticeably acting strange. I totally agree that reaction was definitely due to MH, but I guess I like to think I can bounce back after a few days off, as when the work pressure is gone its almost immediate relief and like I said I initially returned feeling pretty good - I've just not been able to sustain it, but its literally been 3 days. Its horrible to admit that I'm not coping especially as I've had a really good run more recently and actually feel really proud to have bounced back from a really low point and gained the respect of some pretty tough colleagues. I'm more worried about the time off effecting my work prospects/status and people thinking I'm not cut out for it.

I'm more worried about the time off effecting my work prospects/status and people thinking I'm not cut out for it.

Easier said than done but please try not to worry about this. You need to focus on you and your baby right now and try not to worry too much about work and what other people are thinking. Generally speaking what we think people feel or are thinking is very different to what they're actually thinking. Most people are more supportive than we give them credit for in our own, mentally unwell heads.

The fact you went back and almost immediately had to take time off again suggests you could do with a more extended break from work. I know that's not what you want to hear (I've been there) but jomeslty I really think for the sake of your MH it would benefit you taking the 4 weeks as suggested by the fitnote.

Going forwards, do you think it's this particular job affecting your MH or have you found the same with every job? Have you only ever been on this career path?

I ask because if it's this particular job, then perhaps it's worth exploring alternatives for when you come back off maternity. If you've always felt this way but only ever been on this career path, maybe looking at completely different jobs would help. Finally if you have always felt this way regardless of what industry you've worked in, it might be worth looking into counselling to help you work on why you feel this way and ways you can overcome it.

Sorry if this is TMI. I really hope you feel better soon. Bad MH is the pits Also check out the Mental Health boards on here. They're amazingly supportive.

Jomestly = Honestly.

Thanks. I've never actually tried the mental health boards so I'll look at those. I am a bit stubborn about my career choice because on the one hand I am (fairly) well paid and successful e.g. higher position than expected for my age and I like to think I'm an intelligent person (except when it comes to myself!) who should be able to cope. It is a really stressful job, but I can also really enjoy it and be good at it. I feel like its too late to change careers... I'm also the main wage earner... but if its get in the way of me enjoying and caring for my baby, things are going to have to change. I could maybe consider stepping down a level.

Sorry OP this got lost in my feed.

I feel like its too late to change careers.

Is it ever too late to change careers? I felt like you, in a good position with good pay (relatively speaking for my age anyway), intelligent and should be able to cope. However being signed off for the best part of 2/3 months have shown me it's really not worth my health so I'm attempting to retrain. The retraining will give me a career that won't earn me even half as much as my current sector but crucially I feel happier going in this direction than I've ever felt. As DP said to me, do I want to spend the next 30/40 years doing a career that makes me look successful but makes me feel like crap or do I want to spend a few years retraining and have 30/35 years doing a job I enjoy. We can manage on the lower wage so for us happiness won.

Of course if you feel you actually enjoy your job but there are just certain elements that stress you out, it's worth looking at ways of managing this. Depending on the mental health provision in your area, it may be worth asking your GP to be referred to counselling or CBT. Or if you can afford it, I'd highly recommend going private as they're much more flexible around hours that work for you, you can be specific about the type of therapy/ type of counsellor and (crucially) you can see one within days instead of weeks or months.

Hoping someone else will come along soon who's experienced both pregnancy and mental health.