To tell or not to tell people?

[London91]

I got my bfp yesterday. My problem is whether to tell a few people or not. Not by choice but by necessity. I had a miscarriage over a year ago so feeling very anxious. The problem is I'm due to go for a laparoscopy on 26th...obviously I don't need that now. But I have been very emotional waiting for this op. So if I simply tell my parents and my mil it's cancelled they are not going to buy that I'm 'okay' with it. My dp wants to keep it quiet but I don't want to lie to those closest to me. Anyone else I'll keep it quiet. Another thing is, I agreed I'd go horse riding tomorrow with my younger brother and sister. So she's going to think it's weird I was happy to go now I'm cancelling. At least if I tell her it will stop alot of hassle from my parents and his mum. What do you guys think?

It’s upto you.

Ive been pregnant 7 times and only have 2 children.

I always tell my sister and my Mum as need their support when lose a baby.

Wishing you the very best of luck with it. You could say you are not feeling upto the horse riding.

You aren’t feeling well so you can’t go horse riding. The same ‘not well’ has raised/lowered your blood pressure which will interfere with the anaesthetic so your op has been delayed until your blood pressure goes back to normal.

You’ll be in and out of the doctors enough that it will be a plausible story until you’re both ready to tell.

I would have liked to have kept it quiet till 12 weeks. But feel I could use having at least my mum and dad to talk to if I need them. Plus the fact that they definitely will know I'm not okay with my op just being cancelled. I know ops get cancelled every day but mine was suspected endo and had an urgent operation booked within 8 weeks of seeing the consultant. So can't keep up that lie for the next 2 months.

Firstly, congratulations. I really hope it all goes well for you this time.

The house riding is easier because you can just fake being ill for the weekend. Maybe pick a bad back so you can fall back on it if they to book it again.

Whether you tell your patents will be far more personal to you and the relationship between you. And, as @Somersetlady says, whether you'd like their support if anything did go wrong.

We told my family and husband's family a few days after we found out as I don't have the easiest pregnancies and had a miscarriage in march which I had a lot of support from family, it's upto you really but I feel better not lying to my family about it all

I think I'm just going to be honest, it's less people to lie to. Hate lying to my parents when I know they'll be over the moon.

Congratulations! I told the people who I would turn to support from if I miscarried straight away but didn't tell everyone else until 18 weeks once we had the scan, just in case of abnormalities (friends had to have a late abortion due to the brain not forming properly just before and got backlash for doing so just before I got pg)

@anniehm I can understand that. I would like my parents to know regardless. Although I understand my dp's reasoning for keeping the news to ourselves for a while. In my circumstances I can't do that without having to tell tons more fibs than necessary. Still going to have to lie through my teeth to a few people.