Struggling with weight gain

[Squiff70]

Hi all,

I'm 11+2 with twins and in just over a week I've gained 4kg. Before this I lost 2.5kg but don't know why as I haven't been sick whatsoever during this pregancy and have eaten well.

I have a 20 year history of an eating disorder, and although I'm a healthy weight (not far off overweight now if I wasn't pregnant) I am struggling big time with the weight gain. I weighed myself this morning and the scales said my 'danger weight' - that is to say in the past when I have reached this weight I have started again with the ED behaviours with restricting etc.

I won't starve myself or anything and put my babies at risk, but I'm finding this hard. I know I'm going to gain a lot more which is a huge headf**k for me.

Any advice appreciated. Thank you xx

I would honestly suggest you stop weighing yourself during pregnancy and go by what you see in the mirror. Do you look overweight? Has your midwife told you you need to watch your weight? No? Great, you're fine then.

You have no idea how much water retention you have, how big your babies are, how much amniotic fluid you have, etc etc. Your fat gain may be absolutely minimal but you may have gained in other areas that are entirely out of your control.

If you're really worried still, maybe consider talking to your GP who may be able to offer you reassurance. I would also tell your midwife about how you feel and she may be able to point you in the right direction re support.

I'm struggling with my PP body, it's totally normal to feel the way you do. Just make sure it doesn't become an obsession.

All the best.

@Miecro

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and honest reply. You're absoluetely right - fat gain may be minimal but I have amniotic fluid etc adding to the scales. When I look in the mirror I see different things. The image I see is ever consistent so at times I think I look ok and other times I look obese even though I know deep down I'm not obese.

My midwife hasn't told me to watch my weight so that's something I guess. I can cut down a little bit on what I'm eating without actually undereating. I'm not seeing the MW again until 18th December but I'll ring her or see my GP if I need to.

Thank you again for your carefully considered reply.

I am in recovery from anorexia and have found weight gain very hard to deal with.

Some things that have helped me -

Getting rid of my scales so I’m not tempted to weigh myself. Scales are unreliable at the best of times, let alone during pregnancy when fluid levels are constantly changing. When I got used to not weighing myself I found that my focus on my weight and the numbers started to fade.

Do you body check? This has always been a massive problem for me and I often find myself doing it without realising. Distraction helped with this, keeping my hands busy and slowly cutting down.

Try not to look in the mirror too much. The longer you look in the mirror the more critical of your body you become. I look in the mirror to check my outfit doesn’t look horrendous and that’s it.

Eating regularly, small but often. This stops me from getting too hungry and binging which always leads back to restriction for me. Making a meal plan can also help.

Doing things just for me - a nice bath and a face mask, a series on Netflix and so forth. Make time for yourself.

Do you have any professional help for your Ed? It’s helped me massively with setting up regular eating. Body image goes hand in hand with learning to eat regularly and healthily.

Thank you @Lauren5071 - some very wise advice there! I consider myself 95% recovered from my ED but seeing that number on the scales this morning did mess with my head and still is. That said, I have eaten well today for the sake of my babies.

I don't get any support for my ED no because I am a healthy weight ad almost completely recovered. I do believe 100% recovery is possible for some people - I'm just not quite there yet (but not far off).

Thank you so much for your advice and support :)

I count myself as nearly recovered these days too. I just have some fairly serious blips but they’re getting less frequent.

I always had ‘safe’ weights and would massively panic if I ever got close to them. Ditching the scales was the best thing I ever did.

Glad you have eaten well today, it can be so easy so fall into old habits when you’re gaining weight. Give yourself a massive pat on the back

Congratulations on your twins. I second what a previous poster said about the weight not being you it is the babies. You could potentially have two placentas (which are surprisingly massive).

Are you getting any support from the perinatal mental health team. I know you are fully recovered from your eating disorder but pregnancy is a difficult time anyway.

It sound like you are aware of your triggers and have good coping strategies but it is early days in your pregnancy and your body is going to go through a lot of changes.

@Elephantgrey - thank you for your reply. My MW has referred me to the perinatal MH service but I have no idea how long I'll have to wait until I see them.

The babies are in seperate sacs so non-identical. I think that does mean they'll have seperate placentas.

Hi OP, I’ve suffered with eating disorders too - bulimia mostly. I too consider myself almost recovered but am struggling with the weight gain big time.

But think of it like this, if your lifestyle/exercise/food habits are pretty much the same as before pregnancy then the weight gain can only be due to the water, bloating etc. And even if your diet has changed it shouldn’t matter too much since the babies mean you need more calories.

But yeah, I’m with you. This is hard. And having had bulimia it’s been hard to stop myself being sick when I’m nauseous with MS anyway.

I hope we both feel better soon! And congratulations on two, that’s amazing.

Congratulations on your twins. Have you asked your gp about a possible referral for counselling, or is this something you could seek privately?

I am doing the same for anxiety, and I also have a history of eating issues. I feel confident I'll be fine through pregnancy as I want this baby so much. However I worry about bad habits affecting a child, especially if I have a daughter.

@Beckyv88 @RMarieClaire and @welshsoph

Thank you all very much for your replies. I've been refeered to the perinatal MH team and I'm struggling a bit to come to terms with the fact that I'm having two babies at once. I will bring the weight issue into it when I see them. The NHS waiting lists for counselling exceed one year and next week I am having my last counselling appointment with my local branch of Mind which I've been having for other reasons (PTSD).

I'm sorry to hear that you've had eating issues too. How are you doig with your recovery? My only remaining habit is that I take two laxatives every night - I KNOW that's not good but I used to take in excess of 60 a day so believe me it's some achievement in another sense. I no longer restrict, binge or purge and haven't done for two years. Long may it continue!