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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

I don't want a birth partner -AIBU?

2 replies

Tadda · 13/11/2018 19:52

I'm currently 32 weeks, C-section looking likely at 37 weeks as I have some complications - DH will be staying at home with our 14 month old Dd -

We had a traumatic birth with our first little girl, and from the start it was quite clear DH didn't want to be present this time round - I'm really okay with this - it was really difficult for both of us, but I know how effected he was by it so not a problem - plus It's a comfort knowing DD will be at home with dad while I'm in hospital - I've not left her before (bar a brief appointment/shopping trip a few times, never longer than 2 hours, have some separation anxiety around it) and only ever with DH.

Thing is DH does want someone with me, he wanted a Doula at first but I really don't want that! - I have a good relationship with his brother and his partner - (his brother was with me for a few hours last time while DH needed some time out) - and as lovely as he is, I felt I was more concentrated on how he was at being in there with me than how I was doing - aside from that there is no-one I want in with me - I just think I'll feel more at ease on my own? Is this selfish?

This will be my first C-section (baby No 4) and constantly getting told 'you'll be fine' is doing me no favours as I'm bricking it anyway - It's likely to be a bit tricky due to large fibroid, baby transverse (atm), placenta previa - and I just want to concentrate on baby getting here safely and staying calm -

I know DH will feel better with someone with me - but I just don't?

Am I being selfish?

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 13/11/2018 19:54

You’re not being selfish. As the patient it is entirely your call who is with you.

This is a medical procedure and if you wish to do it on your own then that is the only opinion that matters.

BertramKibbler · 13/11/2018 19:57

To be honest with an ELCS you won’t need someone for moral support etc. My biggest concern would be in recovery where you will need help moving yourself, picking up baby, feeding baby, etc and the midwives are often too busy to help. That’s where my DH came into his own.

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