I'm currently 32 weeks, C-section looking likely at 37 weeks as I have some complications - DH will be staying at home with our 14 month old Dd -
We had a traumatic birth with our first little girl, and from the start it was quite clear DH didn't want to be present this time round - I'm really okay with this - it was really difficult for both of us, but I know how effected he was by it so not a problem - plus It's a comfort knowing DD will be at home with dad while I'm in hospital - I've not left her before (bar a brief appointment/shopping trip a few times, never longer than 2 hours, have some separation anxiety around it) and only ever with DH.
Thing is DH does want someone with me, he wanted a Doula at first but I really don't want that! - I have a good relationship with his brother and his partner - (his brother was with me for a few hours last time while DH needed some time out) - and as lovely as he is, I felt I was more concentrated on how he was at being in there with me than how I was doing - aside from that there is no-one I want in with me - I just think I'll feel more at ease on my own? Is this selfish?
This will be my first C-section (baby No 4) and constantly getting told 'you'll be fine' is doing me no favours as I'm bricking it anyway - It's likely to be a bit tricky due to large fibroid, baby transverse (atm), placenta previa - and I just want to concentrate on baby getting here safely and staying calm -
I know DH will feel better with someone with me - but I just don't?
Am I being selfish?