Am I going mad?

[Unicorn234]

So I'm lay in bed minding my own business scrolling through Facebook when one of my friends have put some photos on from the weekend as they had gone out for my other friends birthday.
Now I don't know if it's my hormones or I'm just being silly but i had no idea about this and no invite.
I moved away from my home town but it only takes me about 50 minutes to get back, and would of been a nice opportunity to catch up.
I know they were all out at the pub but an invite would of been nice? I could of had a couple of cokes and had a catch up.
Surely my social life doesn't have to end just because I'm pregnant?
Sorry for the rant but it's really made me mad lol. Anyone else felt abit left out or am I just being silly? 😢

That would have pissed me off. I'd defo say something. I've been out loads pregnant!

Hope you're ok!

Hi @Unicorn234

I agree with you and PP - that would have made my blood boil! Although I only last around 2 hours on a night out - I’d still expect an invite from my friends. I’d be asking why they didn’t let you know?

@Baby160P @Anyat212 thanks girls, didn't know if it was just me so thought I'd have a rant on here 😂🙈 it definitely made my blood boil, however I am feeling bit calmer now lol. I get that they probably thought I wouldn't want to go or whatever but the offer wasn't even there? Grrr 😤

I'd probably write on the post thank you for the invite, great night!

But I'm Hormonal atm lol

Maybe it was a last minute thing and there wasn’t time to invite you?

In general though the lack of invitation will be less to do with your pregnancy and more to do with your move.

It’s difficult but if you move away from the immediate area you naturally get included in less.

If you want to see your friends my advice I’d to actively organise meet ups yourself.

I say this and someone who moved an hour away from her home town.

@Baby160P well I did add a sarcastic comment to my Facebook story in the heat of the moment 😂🙈

@Nonagrey yes could well of been a last minute decision but still not nice to see all the pictures plastered over Facebook with me having no idea about it. However me knowing my friends, I would of thought it would of been arranged.
I Dunno, I think I'm just hormonal and abit of a crazy person but my move has never stopped me being invited places before. I'm hardly the other side of the world 😂

yes could well of been a last minute decision but still not nice to see all the pictures plastered over Facebook with me having no idea about it.

Unicorn really? You expect them to do what, text you every time they get together last minute just do you are aware even though you aren’t nearby and can’t join in?

You need to face reality. You live an hour away, you are about yo have a baby - there are going to be lots of things you can’t go to for the next little while.

PA Facebook statuses are going up make it less likely they invite you, not more.

@NonaGrey

I think you’ve missed the point - OP has said it might have been unplanned but it’s still not nice seeing pictures on FB - which is true! Anyone in this situation pregnant or not, local or not would be annoyed, it’s natural.

If I lived 50 minutes away I’d like to think my friends would still invite me and think that’s my decision to travel to meet up with them. Not just write me off because I don’t live round the corner anymore - It’s not asif I’d be 500 miles away..

you need to face reality. You live an hour away, you are about yo have a baby - there are going to be lots of things you can’t go to for the next little while.

What?! Are you serious? Since when were you a write off when you become pregnant? This is the time you want to see and spend more time with your friends! She’s pregnant for god sake and by the sounds of it she’s still very capable to do things!

Anya so does that mean if her friends have a spur of the moment get together they have to hide it from her?

I live an hour away from where I grew up. I accept, quite happily, that it won’t be practical for me to go to everything. I’d never suggest to my friends that they can’t get together if I’m not invited.

And no, having a baby doesn’t mean you are incapable, tied to the house or a write off. But most people when they are either heavily pregnant or have a brand new baby aren’t up for a night on the tiles for a little while or even for long journeys. That doesn’t mean everyone else can’t still go out.

Moving from your home area changes your life and often your relationships.

Having a baby changes your life and your relationships.

It takes work and patience on both sides to maintain relationships in either of these circumstances.

Stamping her feet and putting PA statuses on FB aren’t going to help the OP.

A little patience and open communication with her friends are much more likely to be helpful.

@Unicorn234 I'm with you!

Our girlfriends are a group of 8.

Some have 4 children

Some Pregnant

Some Newborn babies

Some Grown up teenagers

We always text everyone no matter what.

I think the move excuse is a bullshit excuse.

@NonaGrey

If that was the next step of friends hiding spur of the moment events I would seriously be considering my group of friends. Not only are they failing to communicating with me or inviting me along to events, they are now hiding nights out? Because they can’t be arsed to pick the phone up or text? And let me know as an adult woman to make the decision if I wanted to come or not. Nobody wants to feel left out - simple. It’s human nature.

I can’t comment on OPs situation but she indicated this is the first time and my close circle of friends nothing would be ‘spur of the moment’ which is unfortunate but it’s true - we all work different shifts patterns and have other plans. We do not have children. We have a group chat to pin point days we can all meet up. Everyone is included, end of. Idk, maybe I’m from a different planet? Going off this - Im grateful I have a small circle of 3 very close friends tho.

Moving away - yes I don’t have experience of this however, OP has stated it was never a problem before. I know if any of my close friends moved 50 minutes away it would not be any different.

I never commented on the FB post as personally I wouldn’t have done that. However I’m pregnant too and my hormones are sky high so didn’t think much of that, as my hormones are making me behave differently.

Everyone has different friendship loyalties it seems but in my group of friends we are there for each other no matter what.

Anya moving does change things, it’s very sad but true.

Unicorn I’d recommend that you get in touch with whoever you are closest to in the group and (calmly if you can) ask why you weren’t included.

It might just be an oversight or there could be a good reason.

Whatever the answer it might be organise a night out with them pretty soon if you don’t want to lose your place in the group.

@Nonagrey I don't think I was stamping my feet thank you very much it's natural to feel annoyed if you weren't included in situations. Also if you'd bothered to read what I wrote in the first place I never said i commented on the original post on Facebook, I added a comment onto my FACEBOOK STORY which I'm allowed to do. Also I am 'Not about to drop' or am I heavily pregnant, I am 18 weeks and still very capable of doing things. I really think you should know more about the situation before jumping to conclusions, I think how I felt about the situation is normal and I'm allowed to feel how I want to feel, I shouldn't be made to feel like that. I wonder if you'd be so understanding if your friends suddenly stopped caring about you just because you'd moved away - only 50 mins, 40 mins with no traffic... hardly the other side of the world.

@Baby160P @Anyat212 thank you so much for understanding and sticking up for my side of the post 😊

@Unicorn234 here here!

Now go and stamp your feet and write a Facebook post 🙈😂

@Baby160P I think I might just do that! 👍😂 thanks for the encouragement haha x

You can of course express any feelings you like.

You can put anything you like on FB. It won’t necessarily help with your situation though.

I don’t lack understanding, I’ve moved from my home area myself. I’m trying to explain that IME it has an effect on relationships. As the person that moved they will expect you to be the one that puts the hard work in.

Having a baby can have an effect on relationships too.

I’m sure they haven’t stopped caring about you. Talk to them, organise a get together.