Feeling alone and lost

[gige]

Hi girls,
I’m 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I feel like I am starting to struggle.
My partner lives in Manchester so 2 weeks ago we moved in together to our own place, before I moved up here I had to move in with my mum until this house was ready. I’ve more or less been by myself this preg as while I lived in derby and my bf In Manchester with work commitments ect we could only see each other every few weeks.
So anyway now I have moved here I don’t know the area at all I have no family here and no friends I have sorted out the hospital and a new midwife ect. My partner works 4 days on 4 days off and rotates 7am-7pm then 7pm-7am so when he is on nights and sleeps all day I’m finding myself to be so lonely. I’m now struggling with keeping the house tidy and the washing is piling up and up I’m actually struggling to bend down now, he is not interested in helping me what so ever and just says I’m moaning when I ask for help. The baby’s nursery is a mess and I keep stressing to him we need to get her clothes ect In order but he ignores me. There is a pile of washing on the stairs that has been there for 4 days now which I asked him to move up. We don’t argue as such, a couple of days ago we did have a fight over the bin and he squared up over me and intimidated me which resulted in me running off in to the toilet and locking myself in, he would never hit me but he is scary when he shouts. He is 6 years younger than me(I’m 26) and it’s like he doesn’t quite understand the massive move I have made and how brave I’ve had to be. Also as he is an agency worker he is not entitled to any time off when the baby is born and I have group strep b so I’m extremely worried about this aswell and what if he is working nights when I go in to labour.
Anyway can anyone relate??
Can anyone give me some advice ?
How can I cope with all this

Hi OP didn't want to read and run even though I can't relate. You sound like you're in a really unhappy situation and your partner sounds, quite frankly horrible, unsupportive and abusive.
Is there any way you could move back to your mum's? You're going to need some support during and after the birth and it doesn't sound like your partner has any interest in you or the baby being there. Sorry

Go back to your mums x

I was also going to suggest going back to your mums. You sound like you need support, if you feel like that now I suspect you may it more when the baby is newborn. Xx

You really need to go back to your mums.

Pregnancy is a crisis time for when abusive twats tend to start being more obviously abusive, as is moving in together. You sound extremely vulnerable and if you were my dd I'd want you home.

Go back to your mum's. He sounds lazy, abusive and unkind. Just one of those would send me running. This doesn't sound like a happy place to bring a baby into. I'm so sorry.

I agree that you need to go back to your Mum's. I'm living miles away from my family and it's really tough and that's with having a supportive partner and all of his family.
You and the baby need to come first and you need to be somewhere you will have the support you need without the fear of someone getting irate at you.

I'm sorry my love but you need to go home. Focus on the birth and getting settled into motherhood with the help of you DM.

If, in a few months time, he gets his shit together and you want to make a go of it, you can take it slowly and see what happens but PPs are right. This sounds abusive and pregnancy is a time when these things get worse. Emotional abuse is no better than physical abuse - for you of the baby. And it sounds like the perfect storm for post natal depression, even if it doesn't get any worse.

I've helped friends through this so I have an idea how hard it is. But you are going to be a mother. You are strong and you can do this. Good luck.

What do you want to do? :)

So I partly can relate and at the same time I can't. I've never moved away the distance you have, just 10 minutes away but I did move in with my partner when I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't an ideal situation when I found out I was pregnant but at the time it felt like the right thing to do even if it wasn't necessarily wanted by both of us at the time because we had only been together a few weeks. The idea of us having a baby was hard for him to get his head around more so than I plus there were other factors like finances. It made for a lot of arguments between us and as a result a lot of worry for me being pregnant as it was.
I'm now 6 weeks pp and we still live together and we work on our relationship constantly. We can have a couple of weeks of nothing and then have an argument but we often hash the issues out the next day because we'll both admit that we keep working on our relationship because we want it to work because we want our little family. However I know if I went to my mum she would let me move back in without hesitation because as a mum I know I would do the same. So I'll conclude because I never said; I felt alone just like you, worried alot about what was going to happen with my relationship, worried about having to ask to move home. So I'll say this, sit him down, his age should not factor into this at all and literally go through everything with him and I hate to say it but threaten to move home and even lie and say I've already spoken to my mum and she has told me to get my ass home. You'll soon see if he really wants you to stay as harsh as it sounds. And the other thing, if his ass is scaring you into hiding in a bathroom, sod his age, sod distance and sod whatever he thinks you get yourself back to your parents

Go back home if you can - you & baby come first and it sounds like you may struggle if he’s not supportive. Seeing someone every few weeks is so different to living - of course I don’t know if you ever lived together but do what’s best for you and baby.