Anyone else trying to maintain a career whilst pregnant?

[ivftourist]

I'm trying to hold down a good job with a large company. The HR policies are great but the execution by my line manager is terrible. A couple of examples: I completed my own risk assessment without response. The other day, he used my 'confirmation of pregnancy' meeting to give me negative feedback about something I had little control over. It felt quite engineered.

I'm finding that I'm really struggling to cope with the same stresses that I had pre-pregnancy and keen to get views from others in the same position. I'm asking myself if this is pregnancy-related or not? Because it's not about the baby, it's about work stuff.

I'm waking up during the night worrying about work things. And, then an hour or so later, have to remind myself that I've got a little person growing inside of me who should be consuming most of my thoughts.

I'm approaching 24 weeks.

Is it worth trying to separate what is pregnancy related and what is a work issue?

I also work in a big company, high stress job, my direct line manager is notoriously hard work. The advantage of working in a big company though is that there are plenty of people I can speak to for advice and guidance beyond her - I don’t know whether this culture of mentorship is in place where you are (or if you can manufacture it).

In terms of getting more stressed about things, are there tactics that you can use to manage that stress more effectively? That is, approach it like you would if you weren’t pregnant, or try using hypnobirthing techniques etc to slow your thoughts down?

I wonder, kindly, if part of the problem is that you think the little person should be consuming all of your thoughts. Assuming you’ve had a straightforward pregnancy there’s not too much that your body can’t just crack on with in a wonderful, multitasking way. You can grow a human and chair a difficult meeting at the same time. Because, during the day, your brain needs to be focusing on chairing the meeting which won’t run itself. In the evening I chill out with my wiggling 34w bump and we have a great time - but at work I’m honestly mostly thinking about work. Part of this is I know I’m going to need to be insanely efficient when I come back from mat leave and I’m at least in part training myself to compartmentalise.

Finally your line manager sounds like he’s treading a fine line between being a bit of an arse and breaching employment law. If you feel it’s being used against you record everything and make sure you get proper advice.

Thanks for your reply.

I agree with you about the baby not consuming every thought. And, like you, I spend very little time at work thinking about anything other than work. What concerns me is that I'm worrying about work things most of the time at the moment - especially when I wake during the night. I didn't used to do that. I used to pride myself on not being one of those people who lost sleep about something happening at work. I'm generally pretty good at rationalising and compartmentalising.

I've taken your advice about writing things down. Thanks for your thoughts.

Good luck with your wee one and with your job.