Please help...breastfeeding struggle

[Hopehope20]

Hi,

I gave birth on Monday. He fed in the hospital no problems and we were sent on our way. Tuesday day and night he hardly fed at all which really worried me but then Wednesday day and night he fed lots so I felt much better. Overall though I was finding feeding very stressful and pressured as well as obsessing over whether I was doing it right or if he was getting enough. We had his 3 day check up today and were told...by a midwife with no bedside manner at all...He had lost 10.8% of his birth weight and that they have to put me on a feeding plan of feeding him and expressing after every feed to top him up. They want me to feed every 3 hours...but he has no pattern....sometimes he has loads of 10 minute feeds and other times they are longer. Had a 40 minute one today which is the best one so far. I have done as they say and have been using an electronic breast pump after feeds...but getting hardly anything out...not even half a teaspoon. I have not moved from the sofa all day and I actually feel really hopeless. Going back to see them.tomorrow and they will re weigh. But so scared I am not giving him enough or doing it right and therefore putting him at risk. Have you had any experiences like this or had it where your babies lost more than the 10% and were ok? I have had anxiety and have been getting help....I actually was coping really well until this appointment today and now I just feel like I am not cut out for any of this. So low 😥

Am so thrilled for you..is so exciting lovely new baby! . You need too!

It sounds to me as if you're doing an absolutely amazing job! As others have said, the early days of bf can be really hard, but they don't last long. Before you know it, you and your DS will be like total pros!

I recognise that feeling of just not knowing if you're doing any of it 'right', and the constant worry that you're not making enough milk. The body is amazing and will produce just the right amount for him. From memory I think it might have been about 6 weeks (possibly a bit more) before my boobs / milk supply started to settle down a bit and I felt more confident that I was doing bf 'right'. We're still going strong at 9 months and I'm delighted and proud that we've got this far.

Don't panic that you're spending 'too much' time feeding. No such thing. Enjoy your films, and enjoy all the amazing snuggles! Do make sure you're eating and drinking loads. Although bf sometimes feels like a really sedentary activity, it requires lots of 'fuel' so keep topped up. And if your nipples get sore (very common), I found that coconut oil and Lansinoh cream helped.

Huge congratulations. Sounds like you're doing brilliantly! x

Gar... sometimes the health visitors get a bit too worked up on the numbers. They are too used to seeing formula fed babies guzzle oz's from birth!

Firstly - well done, you're doing grand- stick with it.
Top up feeds arnt needed as this will confuse your breasts and establishing your supply - not to mention if you're giving baby a bottle it will confuse them too.

Do make sure that you are drinking plenty of water/squash- make a big jug and have it by you were you're stationed for the day breastfeeding. Hydration is key to your supply.

Make sure you are eating too.. good healthy robust food and a lovely pack of biscuits near by to nibble on. Oats are your friend here!

Keep that baby at your chest/breast as long as possible- lots of cuddles etc. Encourage them to feed too if it's been a while, sometimes if baby is warm n cosy they get sleepy lazy feeders.

Once your milk comes in fully baby will soon pile on the weight.. it's gold top stuff this boobie milk :-) xx

You’re doing so well OP, hang in there!
My second lost I think 11% birth weight. My milk took a while to come in cos I lost a lot of blood during labour. But I kept holding him, feeding both breasts per feed, drinking lots of water, eating oatmeal and he started to gain.
Look after yourself.
Have a read of Kellymom.com.
I’ve BF 2 babies and never managed to express more than a few drops. It doesn’t indicate how much your baby can get.

Hey night owls. Wow, I can't thank you enough for all your stories, advice and support. My OH and I laid in bed this morning reading through them all and both feel much more rationale about everything. Thank you. We will get there xx

Hi Hopehope20 (and MrHope) sorry I fell asleep after my post! Just checking in and so glad you’re feeling better this morning xx

Good afternoon Hope.
Lots of drinks today, if you get dehydrated it effects your mood and your milk..
Look forward to the fact you can feed anywhere you need too without having to warm the bottle...
Mine feed on demand, this was a long time ago, but I did love it when they slept drunk on milk.

You’re doing so well, you really are. If you have a free hand at some point, give yourself a pat on the back.

If it’s really sore when you wee, don’t rule out doing it in the shower and wearing a dressing gown in between. The fresh air will help you heal.

It’s such a mixture between the best and worst of times isn’t it? Expecting number 4 after a 7 year gap and I swear I’ve forgotten most of the worst bits 😀.

Forgot to add, breastfed all mine and could have written your original post word for word. Before you know it your milk supply will be more established and baby will plumpen up 🙂.

Keep posting if you’re feeling wobbly :)

Keep at it! The first bit is so so hard but you do turn a corner and suddenly it's like everything has fallen into place and from then on it's the easiest thing. These early days are so precious and over so quickly. Try not to worry too much about the weight loss / gain unless it seems truly unusual. You are doing everything right!

Ps for the stitches can I recommend a squeezy bottle with warm tap water. Easier to aim in the right place than a jug or whatever. There are also (expensive but effective) compresses you can get in boots.

I'd also like to add that if you had iv fluids in labour that will give baby a false baseline first weight as they'll have taken on some of that fluid. My 2nd lost just short of 10%. I had lots of fluids in labour due to epidural and an emergency c-section.

You're doing amazing and it is hard xx

So glad you're feeling a little brighter. Be kind to yourself. We are all very new and very worried starting as parents. No one has the 'right' answers all the time otherwise the advice would all be the same.

Weighing babaies has become a bit of an obsession. Once upon a time women worried all through pregnancy as women were obsessively weighed.
Your little man is feeding and settling into 'his' milk supply...just keep him on for long enough feeds to ensure he gets the rich 'hind' milk not just the earlier 'drink' bit. Don't let him doze after 10 mins if you can.