Pregnant after 2 miscarriages - should I have sex?

[Taichimum]

I know as a rule sex is fine throughout pg unless you are bleeding. However, I have one DS but have gone on to have two mc at 10 and 12 weeks, in the last six months. Have heard that some doctors advise no sex until 12 weeks in this situation but mine did not. Do you think it is OK to have sex in first trimester?

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I was advised not to after two miscarriages but not sure how much evidence there is for it. For me I decided that it was better to avoid anything you might blame yourself for later even though its not your fault.

Congrat's Taichi

I avoided sex till 12/ 14 weeks after miscarriages. It's probably over precautious but it would have made dh and I both worry if we did it. Ironic really.

Congratulations Taichi -
I had one m/c at 10 weeks, with this pg i have not had sex at all, poor dh!!!
first 14 weeks was a no go because of m/c -
14 - 26 weeks - didnt feel like it

Now dh says it dont seem right!

Message withdrawn

i had two miscarriages before this preg (14weeks tom) and hadent even heard of this so my DP and i had had sex, oblivious, but baby is still ok (even though am constantly having nightmares about miscarrying)

I read somewhere that sex and especially orgasm
relaxes the uterus, so that LO can burrow in even further and is hence advisable. Just recently read in book (pregnancy bible) that it is is considered good for the fetus although no study's have been done (now, this is a pretty weak argument, if no studies have been done).
I felt like it and so I had sex in 1st trimester but would have stopped so if it would have caused any bleeding. I personally (and I am no expert!) would have it if I feel like it, but if I think I would always wonder if it was wrong, I wouldn't ...

PS I am so happy Taichimum that you are pregnant! I know I already congratulated you, but want to congratulate you again! I hope so much this one will stick it out!

Thanks for all your messages. We tend to do it quite a lot normally so another seven weeks of abstinence would be quite long enough
I know sex has nothing to do with miscarriage otherwise noone would carry to term, but it has bad memories for me as my last mc bleeding started after we had sex. The baby had died 3 weeks before we found out at the scan, so it obviously did not cause it but it has a negative association that I cannot put out of my mind.
I think knowing that some of you also abstained for various periods of time makes me feel sightly less hysterical about doing it myself in the face of no obvious medical evidence, so thanks.
Glimmer thanks so much for your posts and I am pleased your pg is going well despite the odds at the beginning. It gives me hope . Not posting on the pg after mc thread yet as quite a lot of people are much further on than me and I am still at the seriously anxious stage. Hope to be brave enough to get stuck into the thread after six week scan on Friday.

I spotted in the first trimester and was asked to abstain from sex by my doctor, along with putting my feet up for two weeks. The bleeding stopped and the baby made it through the first trimester even though the doctor had her doubts. I am now 18wks and we are sexually very active and all is well. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I do feel that I protected the pregnancy by abstaining from intercourse. This is of course simply my personal opinion and nothing more.

I have had two MC before this pregnancy and we were told very politely to behave ourselves.

I am now 26 weeks and very pleased we did.

I bled for five or six week in the first trimester. Asked my GP about sex and he said "Intercourse probably won't cause any problems but if you mc, you won't believe it wasn't the sex and you will blame yourself."

so we waited. there are lots of other things you can do, of course!

Taichimum - I asked about sex in 1st trimester and was told that it is unlikely that sex will cause mc, but if (as happened with you), the bleeding started after you had sex, then the association may well bugger up your sex life (so to speak

I've done it both ways around - 1st pg - lots of sex (well as much as hyperemesis and then spd would allow ), end result - healthy ds.
2nd pg - same as the first - mc at 7 weeks
3rd pg - no sex at all in first trimester (badly advised by mw!!) - mmc found at dating scan at 13 weeks
4th pg (this one) - same as the first (with worse hyperemesis and spd!!) - all going well so far (fingers crossed emoticon needed here) - and I'm now 25 weeks.

If it feels right for you, then it's fine - unless your MCs were definitively caused by sex!

Congrats by the way!! - here's hoping this pg is long, uneventful, and healthy!

But if your already pregnant why would you want sex?[grin

fraid its "nowt down" for my dh but after 2 years of ttc hes visably relieved!!!

Had 2 x DS, then three m/cs, am 20 weeks pg, definately no sex this time (don't want to risk it)-hopefully DH isn't either

So far have decided not to. It does feel like the right thing to do, even though not entirely logical. I think I will get back on the horse, so to speak, after the nuchal scan if I make it that far.