ERPC- what next? Support and positivity please.

[missrose0110]

Hi everyone,

Just seeking advice and support from anyone who has been in a similar situation to me, seeking light at the end of the tunnel.

After feeling "off" for a few weeks which people kept telling me was just my hormones, I decided to book an appointment for a scan. I thought I was 11 weeks pregnant, but sadly the baby measured 8 weeks. I opted for erpc which I had yesterday as I felt this was best option for myself, my partner and our "sprinkle".

Although I'm incredibly sad about this loss, I'm trying to remain optimistic for the future, which is helping me cope.

I'd just like to know what happens next? Will it be difficult to get pregnant again? If I get pregnant again will I this happen again? Would I get more support off the nhs eg more scans?

Please share your stories with me if you feel comfortable to do so. Nobody else I know has been through this and I feel like talking would help me a lot.

Hi, I had a erpc in June for my missed miscarriage, I'd noticed my symptoms had disappeared and was told hormones can fluctuate to put my mind at rest I booked a private scan when we went were told our little pea had no heartbeat even though we'd seen it twice before, after previously having a missed miscarriage three years ago we knew the erpc was the best choice given that I'd tried the tablets but they didn't work completely.

We were absolutely devastated as we'd told our little boy he was going to be a big brother even though he's only two I think he understood there was going to be a new baby. I felt completely useless and empty about what had happened.

Although we'll never get over what happened it does get a little easier over time. We are now trying again, I'm absolutely scared but I don't want my little boy to be on his own. I'm hoping that I will get pregnant again and this time we'll get to bring our next baby home.

I also wanted to say after my first miscarriage in June 2015 I found out I was pregnant with my son in the October. I knew that when I do hopefully become pregnant again I would seek more support from the NHS. I truly hope that it this never happens again for us both. Sending you a hug. Xx

@Lauraliverpool I'm so sorry for your loss but thank you for coming on here and responding to me,it means a lot.

I feel like I could've written that first paragraph, my symptoms faded and people kept telling me "hormones fluctuate", but I knew something was up. So I booked a private scan too. It's absolutely devastating isn't it. I was planning how to tell everyone this week and now that's not happening, it's heartbreaking.

I don't have any children yet, but cheesy as it sounds I feel like I was born to be a mum. I'm hoping that will happen in the not too distant future, but also I want to respect this baby and not completely forget about it and try to conceive again. It's an awful thing to go through having a missed miscarriage and I hope neither of us go through it again. Sending love xx

@missrose0110 thank you, I'm so sorry for your loss too, it's truly heartbreaking as soon as you see that positive test you fall in love with your baby and have all these plans in your head and then it all gets taken away.

You hope and pray that you're wrong but as the doctor who did the scan at the hospital said something like you know something isn't right as you're their mum and it's true.

I know what you mean about being born to be a mum and it's not cheesy at all, I feel exactly the same. I truly hope that you have your dream come true. I know about wanting to respect the baby you have lost because I'm the same and you will never forget about them, they'll always be a part of you, I found reading the book think it's called saying goodbye by Zoe Clarke can buy it on Amazon helped me a lot and I found one of the quotes a comfort where some of your baby's DNA stays inside your body.

Sending you lots of love and hugs. Xxx

Can I ask what the ERPC was like? I am currently in the middle of a mmc, I had my fourth lot of tablets yesterday since last week and so far I am still yet to pass the sac 

It's horrible waiting around and if it doesn't pass I need to have the surgery anyway which is what I was trying to avoid as I'm so scared of being put to sleep.

As for periods coming back etc I've had 2 losses before but not a mmc, after those two periods returned the next month as normal, I've been told that is likely the case with mmc also so fx.

@ifancyachinese I remember them putting the medicine in my hand, oxygen mask on and counting backwards from 10 then waking up in recovery. X

@Lauraliverpool thank you, I'll look into that book, it sounds like it might be helpful for me.

@ifancyachinese so sorry for your loss. I found the waiting around the worst bit. I've never been in hospital, so I was nervous too about being put to sleep. It was fine, more emotional than scary or painful. I hope you're doing okay and I'm always on here if you want to talk 

Thank you both :-)

@missrose0110 same I've never been in hospital I think it's just the thought of it rather than worried anything would actually happen. I just can't believe I'm still waiting to pass it's been over 3 weeks since they confirmed mmc and they want me to wait another week before another scan and then the surgery if needed!

@ifancyachinese that's awful that they're making you wait, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I only found out about our mmc on Sunday and luckily I had the operation the next day, I was terrified of waiting and passing it naturally. It's cruel that our bodies do this to us. Hope you're doing okay and if you have any questions about the procedure feel free to ask me xx

My last two has just gone naturally but this one doesn't seem to want to leave even though it hasn't developed 

Did they put the injection in your hand and did it hurt? I know it's ridiculous but I'm even stressing about that!

@ifancyachinese that was the bit I was stressing about too, I can't stand the thought of needles. It didn't hurt but it was a little uncomfortable, I let them know I was nervous and I just read a poster on the wall. Don't worry about it, I wish I didn't stress so much about it xx

That's ok @missrose0110 I did find it helped me. Xx

@ifancyachinese when they put the medicine in my hand felt cold. I told them at the hospital that I was nervous and they put me at ease, well as much as possible. Sending you a big hug. Xx

@Lauraliverpool I've ordered the book you suggested off amazon, and another one too called 'miscarriage, what every woman needs to know'. I'm hoping these will help me process everything that's going on and maybe understand it a little more ❤️

@missrose0110 aww did you? I found reading it helped and like yourself process things. I found not keeping things bottled in helped, cry if you need to, take all the support that is offered. I found ringing the support line on the miscarriage association helped too. ❤️ Xxxx

The ERPC was v quick. My next period was v faint and I panicked and googled (and shouldn’t have!). It took maybe 3 cycles for it all to settle down. I was pregnant again within the year and DS2 is now 2. I have an older DS but my MMC robbed me of my ‘pregnancy innocence’ somewhat. Thinking of the day of the scan could make me very sad but now with a job and a toddler, that memory seems v far behind. If the pregnancy had worked I would have had a 3 year old now. I occasionally have a fleeting ‘what if’ moment. DH found the next pregnancy (and even conceiving DS2) much much much harder whereas I just wanted to get on with it.

I know exactly how you feel having suffered two MMC this year. One in June and one at my 12 week scan 4 weeks ago after seeing a healthy heartbeat at 7 & 9 weeks. You feel like you've been completely robbed don't you? I'm still finding it tough but I'm hoping it'll be third time lucky for us. The percentages of a second and third do drop drastically so just try and keep that in mind xx