Text to friend who's had several miscarriages about our pregnancy

[Boobahs]

Hi, just here to seek some advice.

We are going to announce our 2nd pregnancy on Weds, but I'd like to tell a friend beforehand as she has been struggling with recurrent miscarriages this year.

We have toddlers with 1 month difference in age (they're now 2.5 years) and she has had 4 miscarriages since Jan. We have been TTC since Jan and eventually got pregnant in Aug.

We are not really close friends, and only probably see each other once every 6 months if that, but I don't want the news to hit her unexpectedly.

I'm thinking about sending her this text.

"Hi chick, hope you’re all ok and enjoying half term. I just wanted to let you know that I’m pregnant again, I wanted you to know before we tell everyone else. I understand if this is upsetting to hear, I didn’t want to call and put you on the spot, I completely understand if you don’t reply until you’re ready xxx"

Like I say, we're not really close so I don't want to do too many gushing statements, or anything that could be misinterpreted as being patronising.

Anything I should change/add?

TIA x

“Hey chick, hope you’re well. We’ve had some news, I’m pregnant. Thought I’d mention in a text to you before we announce it.” I literally wouldn’t say anything about her being upset or you being nervous about telling her. She may want to act happy for you and you saying don’t want to upset ect moulds her reaction. I think a simple text letting her know but allowing her to save face is best. She might cry her eyes out, but not want to be pitied.

She may be happy for you but appreciate the text as she can now process it first before she finds out. It won’t be a shock so she can manage how she reacts to the news.

Congrats I’m due 5th December ☺️👶🏻

@PorridgeIsYummy I definitely won't phone! I don't mean that she shouldn't be upset, she has every right to be - I'm just crap at wording stuff!

I think your heart and intention are in the right place OP, and you are being very considerate

I've reworded it and just text her.

This was her reply...

"Dont be daft!! I'm thrilled for you! I kind of twigged when you were over at ours on the Sunday afternoon and mentioned it to Paul. You're so kind to tell me first, but honestly, I'm thrilled for you! How are you feeling? How far gone are you? Xx"

Phew!

That’s great reply and bet she is thrilled for you. ☺️ It’s unkind for us to assume anyone who miscarries is massively jealous and upset because others get pregnant.

Even if she is upset you did the right thing.

@Poppylizzyrose Congrats - 24th May here!

That's a lovely answer. Good luck to you both.

@Boobahs I think the text was the right thing to do. I too am pregnant after an MC and one of my close friends is also trying and has had an MC. It's still early days for me but I will likely take a similar approach to you when I let her know. Good luck in your pregnancy.

Awww!! So exciting for you!

This is my first and I’m so struggling now lol. I itch all over legs bum tum, it’s tough being pregnant. Don’t know if I’ll go through this again!! 😂

She just said that it was really thoughtful to text first and she appreciates it. She's told me that she has her appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic tomorrow, I really hope she gets some answers. Thanks for all your help everyone xx

Looks like it went brilliantly Boobahs!

I just wanted to say that after my mc I was really worried people would think I'd be upset by happy news or jealous in some way. I still liked babies and being excited for people. Sounds like your mate is a bit like me.

Sounds like a lovely friendship, congratulations to you and fingers crossed for your friend. Xx