Advice on trying again after a missed miscarriage

[DayDreamer1707]

I had a missed miscarriage 2 weeks ago. I would of been 11 weeks but unfortunately my baby stopped developing at 7 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I was advised to have medical management which I took on the Saturday. These didn't work so I then had to take more tablets on the Monday, which is when I had serve pain and clots. I went back for a scan the following Monday and was told all was gone and my uterus was clear.

I now still get some very light spotting but we're very eager to TTC. We have had unprotected sex but this is because I thought that the bleeding had stopped. I do still get very light cramps but I don't know if this is from the miscarriage, ovulation or even my body just readjusting after the recent events?

Any advice on our situation would be helpful as the EPU have just advised that this is normal. It's very frustrating not knowing what the cause can be, as you can imagine. I know that you can get pregnant right away and ovulate too. Just not sure if I should start getting ovulation test as I'm obviously still bleeding (very lightly) or even just take a pregnancy test to ensure my hormones are back to normal, even though I have been told everything has gone. I'm guessing you can't ovulate or get pregnant whilst bleeding even if it's very light.
Thank you x

Hi there,

Firstly, i'm really sorry for your loss. A missed miscarriage is devastating, I had one myself in April this year and I'm still not over it.
The first thing to do is wait until you get a negative pregnancy test, this will avoid any further confusion or heartache wondering whether this is a new pregnancy or not. I MCd naturally but about 2 weeks later I got my negative test. If you have already tried please just be really aware that a positive test may not be a new pregnancy and not to set yourself up for more disappointment.

You don't need to wait for a period to come to try again but that's what we did. We decided it would be a clean start and easier to date if we did fall pg right away. It can take a while for your body to readjust after being pregnant, this can happen quickly (1 cycle) or may take a bit longer. Just be prepared, listen to your body and take things in your own time.

Finally, I think the most important part is just making sure you feel ready, that you've taken time to process what's happened (both of you) and to look after yourselves. It's the worst thing, but having one doesn't mean it's more likely to happen again. Hugs x

So sorry for your loss. I too had a missed miscarriage in April of this year. I was supposed to have been 12 weeks but a scan showed baby hadn't developed past 7 weeks.

I chose to have a D&C as I wanted it 'over and done with'. We started TTC pretty much right away (as soon as my bleeding had stopped). You don't have to wait until your period returns, but it may make things easier in regards to dating a subsequent pregnancy.

In my case, my period returned exactly four weeks after my D&C. I fell pregnant again in June (so eight weeks after my MMC) and am now 21 weeks with a healthy baby girl

I'm still terrified that things may go wrong, but that's the horrible thing about pregnancy loss. It takes the joy out of subsequent pregnancies as you've lost your innocence, so to speak.

As long as you feel emotionally and physically ready, there's no reason why you can't start TTC right away. But there's no right or wrong decision, it's entirely up to you and there's no rush.

Again, so sorry for your loss. And good luck!

So sorry for both of your losses 💞.

I just get more frustrated as I'm not able to know what my body is doing at the moment because I just sometimes don't know what the aches and bleeding are a causes from, ovulation, miscarriage or something else. I suppose I just need to give myself more time. Things will hopefully become more clearer once I get my first period.

I was told to do a pregnancy test this week which should show negative. I don't really want to because I've been told so many times now that I've lost the baby that this is just another blow.

We know we definitely do want a baby more than anything just want to start to TTC and know what my body is actually telling me.

So happy to see that you are now pregnant @CobaltRose96 😊 and I am sure it will also happen for you @TedLife. Everyone is different I suppose and sometimes after a miscarriage though the unknown is just that bit more harder xxx

@DayDreamer1707

Best of luck lovely, I know it's so hard. Everyone is different, for me the negative test was actually a relief because I knew then that it was finally over and I could start to move on. I was similar to you - nearly 11 weeks but baby had passed around 8 weeks so i know the ache of believing you were pregnant when it was already over. But you have to do what's right for you, all your feelings are valid and real. Listen to your body, it'll tell you when it's ready again.

To give you some hope, I am actually pregnant again and nearly 10 weeks. It will happen for you again, I hope this brings you come comfort xx

DayDreamer1707 So sorry for your loss. MMCs are particularly unfair and cruel, and not in any way our fault or doing.

I had an MMC last year, baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks, there was a suspicion that something was wrong, but not confirmed until 11 weeks. ERPC on the day my 12 week scan would have been. I would just say feel all the feelings and take your time. I was told this and didn't really listen, threw myself back into work, into new TTC plans. Two more unsuccessful attempts later and by August I was sobbing at the GP's about somehow not being able to cope. It was too much too soon. DH and I took a break, went away, and came back refreshed and ready to try again. I'm now 4w2d.

I totally echo previous comments on how something like an MMC steals the joy from a new pregnancy.

I saw the post-MMC pregnancy test as drawing a line, as an end to what were by then redundant hormones.

It also helped me a lot to keep a record of my TTC attempts since - when it's 3-4 months since that can feel like forever but if it's only 2 cycles you realise how relatively little time has passed yet.

It's also hard not to feel like a new pregnancy is the only thing that will take away the pain of the MMC - it doesn't really, they are two separate things and they're worth dealing with in their own right. Tommy's have a helpline which I very almost used, do check it out.

On the sillier end of the spectrum, DH and I wanted to put some good back into the world after the MMC - he gave blood and I became a volunteer for a local charity. I also have a pebble from a beach walk that I hold on to as a kind of memory of that MMC time, it helped me to focus on something.

You and your DH sound lovely and hope your recovery and future TTC go swimmingly!xx

@TedLife maybe like you said doing the test will be a bit of a relief and a fresh starting point. Just can't wait to see those 2 lines again like yourself. Yes, knowing that you have conceived again fills me with hope and I am extremely happy for you 😊.

@StargazyDrifter you are completely right. I sometimes just want to take control but I now know that when it comes to pregnancy that control is something we certainly do not have. I do want to get pregnant again but I do also want to enjoy the pregnancy. I guess taking our time and even doing some positive things like yourself can help. A massive congratulations to you and your DH 🙂.

I guess time is what we need to give ourselves, just can't wait to be a mummy and daddy. It's frightening how you can care so much about something you haven't even seen yet.

It's actually next week I need to do the test, good job my DH was with me as I would of done it too soon which could of been a disaster.

Thanks so much for telling me your experiences as sometimes you can feel very confused. It is comforting to know that you all have move forward xxx

I'm sorry you've been through this. I had (PUL) miscarriage in April at 7 weeks and was soundly weekly pregnancy tests for about 5 weeks (bleeding had stopped by still had high HCG levels). Starting having unprotected sex as soon as period returned (week following HCG levels finally falling below pregnancy levels) and miraculously fell pregnancy within a month. Felt like a miracle as first time round took a year 2 conceive. X

@karoB congratulations on getting pregnant again. I suppose I will have to wait till next week until I see a negative and then maybe we can start to TTC right away.

It's only be a little over 2 weeks so no sign of AF just yet. Still have the odd slight cramp which I'm not sure what is causing this?

Fingers crossed we aren't waiting too long until we will be pregnant again 🤞 x

spermmeetseggplan.com/

The e-book to this really helped me understand my body after our miscarriage.

Three months after miscarrying and one month after reading - we fell pregnant!

I'm nearly 36 weeks pregnant.

Good luck. X

Forgot to say, I too had a missed miscarriage - found out at our 12 week scan. It really does tinge any new pregnancy and you will naturally be more anxious than ever when you do get your positive result.

Sending you all love and best wishes.

@stargazydrifter I was wondering/hoping your user name would pop up on this board at some point. Huge congratulations and best wishes for the next 9 months!

@SophieStripe Aww thank you! That's so lovely. Have you had your LO yet?!

@BellaBash I will have a look at the e-book thank you, it's the not knowing part that's driving me mad. Over 2 weeks now so hopefully sometime soon I will have a visit from AF and things will become more clearer.

So sorry for your lost, a missed miscarriage is very cruel and I'm so glad everything has now worked out for you. I do love hearing how people have gone on to have successful pregnancies 😚xx

If it helps at all - it took 3 cycles for my period 'come back'. My missacrriage was on the 4 Dec, then had to have medical management for retained tissue, a week of so later, and I found out I was pregnant again at the end of March.

The most important thing is to get your body ready again.....good rest, good food, pre-pregnancy vitamins, etc. This takes time, especially if you've had to have any kind of medical intervention.

It will be an emotional journey, but always have hope xx

Sending empathy - uncertainty & not knowing are horrible. We booked a holiday for about a month after the mc & planning & going we're a wonderful distraction...

When would you suggest to do a pregnancy test to see a negative?

I will of had the MMC 3 weeks ago this Monday. I did go back for a scan a week after and they told me everything was clear.

Is it too early? xxx

@DayDreamer1707 I was told 3 or so weeks after. If it remained positive, I was to contact the EPU again as this could possibly indicate retained tissue still releasing hormones. X

@bellabash It was 3 weeks ago yesterday but I had some very light random spotting on Sunday, only twice and only noticed when I wiped. Very light pink and had some period symptoms but not come on. Do you think it's still worth doing a test or just seeing if I come on? xx

Thinking back, I probably spotted for many, many weeks and my first true period didn’t really come about till early February. Might be worth doing the test and seeking advice from GP either way? X