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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Paternal issues

19 replies

PhoenixJones · 29/10/2018 09:29

I feel so embarrassed to be writing this post but I am waking up feeling sick every day with worry about who is my child's father. I'll give as much detail as possible and hope I get the answer I so desperately want to see.

So may 2017, I did a pregnancy test with my partner which I thought was negative and didn't think nothing of it. We split up for a week (I didn't think we was getting back together) & I slept with someone (24th may) else regret it so much now. He didn't 'cum' in me, and I did take the morning after pill 72 hours after. When partner came back (29th may) he saw the pregnancy test and told me it was positive it did infact have 2 lines. So I did a clear blue which said pregnant 1-2. I then went for an early scan a few days later that said there was a sac but no baby, confirmed this with hcg blood tests twice 48hours between which confirmed the miscarriage. I started to bleed on the 9th June, then passed big clots, but then bleeding had stopped by 13th June. so fast forward to the 15th July I get a faint positive then 2 days later a clear positive. On August 7th I had a scan that put me at 6 weeks 5 days. Then had a scan November 7th that put my due date to be 24th march.

So my question is, the new pregnancy.. is there any chance it could be the other person and not my partner? Could I have got pregnant again before I had my miscarriage bleed?

Please don't judge me I feel sick as it is with what I've done.

OP posts:
Lilbear14 · 29/10/2018 09:51

Sorry to hear you had to go through a miscarriage. If I've read that right.
If you was dated 6 weeks in August and slept with the guy in may and had a miscarriage after...aslong as you didn't sleep with anyone else then I think it is your partners. It reads to me like you conceived after your miscarriage.

Darkstar4855 · 29/10/2018 09:52

If you were 6+5 on August 7th then that would put conception at the beginning of July (the way pregnancy is dated means you aren’t technically pregnant for the first two weeks). If the last time you had sex with the other guy was in May then there’s no chance he’s the father.

Lilbear14 · 29/10/2018 09:52

*if I've read that right and if you was dated...

Thought I'd clarify cus it looks like I'm saying I'm not sure you said miscarriage.

Original poster
PhoenixJones · 29/10/2018 09:59

Thank you both for the replies. Yes it was a confirmed miscarriage. Didn't sleep with anyone else and only slept with the other person once on the 24th May and took the morning after pill 3 days later. I have done the conception calculator, have been told by midwife that it's most definitley my partners, but I can't seem to shake this guilt. Dr google makes me second guess everything because all answers on there are so conflicting! X

OP posts:
Lilbear14 · 29/10/2018 10:04

Ooooh love, stay away from Google! Everything is so conflicting.
I would say it was your partners from the dates you have given us.
And you are bound to feel guilty and have it in the back of your mind. Hopefully once baby is born you will feel more at ease.

Does your partner know about the other man?

orangejuicer · 29/10/2018 10:06

Don't feel guilty Flowers

Original poster
PhoenixJones · 29/10/2018 10:10

Thanks ladies! It's lovely to have support of you I was expecting negative comments. No partner doesn't know about the other man it would kill him so he also doesn't know that from the minute I'm waking up in the morning and just before bed at night I sit and Google so many questions to see if it could be the other persons. Going by dates it'd mean I got pregnant within 2 weeks of my miscarriage I didn't think that was possible x

OP posts:
Lilbear14 · 29/10/2018 10:15

It is very much possible. I have heard that you can be at your most fertile after a miscarriage.
How many weeks are you now? After your recent scan is it still in line with after the miscarriage?
My advice would be to try your best to put down Google, the baby is your partners. You'd so be much further along if it wasn't.

Kate123cl · 29/10/2018 10:23

I think most definitely your current partners. Try and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy Smile if even midwives have said current partners, I'd trust them over google! X

Original poster
PhoenixJones · 29/10/2018 10:23

I've had my baby now, all the dates were given were last year, I had to be induced aswell so I didn't get to see if I would go on or around my due date. I had to have about 15 scans in my pregnancy due to a few complications and the due date never changed other than 4 days difference between 1st scan and 11weeks 4 day scan which was the one to put me at due the 24th march. my child looks exactly like me I think, if baby was to look like his dad I wouldn't have had any worries. Thank you so much! I need to just stop letting the guilt get the better of me but it's easier said than done x

OP posts:
Kate123cl · 29/10/2018 10:26

Ah sorry @PhoenixJones I completely misread! Congratulations Smile x

Original poster
PhoenixJones · 29/10/2018 10:27

Thanks Hun xx

OP posts:
Lilbear14 · 29/10/2018 10:29

Oh sorry didn't realise at all that you have had the baby.
It is easier said than done, and unfortunately the only way you would be able to know for absolute certain and clarity would be a DNA. But from what you have said it would just be a waste of money as it does sound for sure that your partner is the dad.

Original poster
PhoenixJones · 29/10/2018 10:37

@lilbear14 thank you so much, I really appreciate you putting my mind at rest.
& thank you for all the other comments xx

OP posts:
Biggestjulie · 29/10/2018 11:04

@PhoenixJones, please don't worry any longer. From what you say there is absolutely zero chance that the baby's father is anyone other than your partner . Don't waste your money on DNA tests. From your dates there would be approx. a 6 week error for the other guy to be the father, and you had a number of early scans (never mind the morning after pill and the intervening MC).

The progress of pregnancy and growth of the foetus is very well known and well documented -- dating is very specific based on this knowledge. The progress of growth can vary by a few days in early pregnancy, but definitely not by 6 weeks!

Your scan showed you 6 weeks 5 days on August 7, meaning you conceived early to mid July-ish. If you had conceived on the 24th of May, your baby would instead have shown to be approx. 12 weeks and 5 days! Not possible to get it that badly wrong, and further scans confirmed your dates.

Original poster
PhoenixJones · 29/10/2018 11:24

@biggestjulie I could kiss you haha! That message was exactly what I needed. I needed numbers asin weeks to what I would be if it was the other persons baby. I'm looking forward to going sleep tonight and not having it hanging over my head and researching. I know I probably seem like I'm going a little over the top with worrying when there is quite a difference between dates but I think this is what guilt does to people. I've learnt the hard way and have had none stop worry for a year and a half. I will NEVER get myself in this situation again. Honestly you wouldn't beleive how something as small as these messages have helped me x

OP posts:
physicskate · 29/10/2018 13:15

I'm due March 8 (next year). We KNOW conception was 15th of June (it's an ivf pregnancy). You were due over two weeks later, which puts conception in the beginning of July. It's definitely your partner's.

Original poster
PhoenixJones · 30/10/2018 13:30

And is there no chance the scan could be out by a few weeks? @physicskate congratulations on your pregnancy x

OP posts:
physicskate · 30/10/2018 17:44

Thanks.

The scan could be out by a few days, not weeks.

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