Holidays, Moving Home, Pregnancy and Money - I need a POA

[N489]

Hello lovely ladies!

I am brand new to Mumsnet and couldn't be more excited to join your community. So I only just found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant via test yesterday (I'm yet to book to see a GP/midwife) and it was an unplanned (but welcome) pregnancy so obviously it's thrown a spanner in the works.

We have a few 'big' things planned and I just wanted to know what order to prepare for things now we are expecting:

1. We have two big holidays planned; December to Kenya, February to Japan.
2. We were planning on moving to a house after these two holidays because living in Manchester City Centre is a nightmare.
3. We aren't blessed with finances.

Original Plan: Save as much as possible to finance these two holidays (both partially paid already then, save to move out ASAP.

Now that I have found out I'm pregnant and due in the summer, I'm not really sure whether to suck it up and postpone the move until after the baby or continue with the plan and move before the baby arrives. I am also more stressed about money now (understandably)!

I have a bunch of other questions about my pregnancy but this is one I am really stuck on at the moment. I haven't told a soul (apart from my boyfriend) and I don't necessarily want to because I know things spread so I'm really looking forward to sharing advice with you guys and build a little mummy support system without having to explain myself to everybody!

Are the big holidays already booked? I would be tempted to just do one of the holidays and still move before baby. That way you save some pennies still but you are settled in your new home for when baby arrives. Once baby is here it will be nice to be able to bring them home and also not have to worry about packing up and moving vs dealing with a newborn.

I think it also depends on your maternity leave benefits from work. Do you know what you get? If it’s good with full pay for a few months it might be ok to stick to your plan. If it’s not great then you might need to reconsider.

Hi, might just be worth checking with your midwife about Zika virus and your holidays. I believe Kenya is one of the risk areas.

Regarding holidays I would probably chose one, and cut your losses with the other one (if it's not fully paid) and cancel.

Me and my OH have said that we want to move before baby arrives, however we have also said that if we don't find somewhere suitable we will just wait a few more months as baby will be sharing room with us for that time. But that will also enable us to save a little bit more money.

We have got cars to buy and we had holidays planned but we have had to really cut back so we can prioritise the baby and the things he/she will need as that really mounts up in itself. So we have decided to pull aside X amount for the baby and then see what we can do regards to holidays and house moves. If its not possible to do what we want then it's just the way it is.

Kenya is malarial. I’d definitely get some medical advice

Thanks for the responses!

@anonmum22 Yes unfortunately/fortunately Kenya is the bigger, more expensive holiday and we literally just paid most of it off but this was before we found out. And the one in Japan is actually my brother's wedding so I can't not go either Again, the flights were just paid off the other day! I am definitely swaying towards moving first!

@MustStopSnacking28 I have read the Mat Leave benefits and I think it's pretty standard. However, what isn't ok is my actual salary which obviously this is based on. I have been interviewing for new positions but now I worry I won't be hired.

@Hopehope20 Yes, I am checking this when I see the doctor this week. I've checked online and it's not currently an affected area according to WHO. So basically there are mosquitos but they don't carry Zika. However, I know Uganda has had a recent outbreak and also the CDC say contradicting things so I definitely need to check. However, if there is no Zika virus, I still need anti-malaria treatment and I hear most are unsuitable for pregnant women especially at my stage.

As you can see girls, my main issues also have little issues sprouting from it!

Why is this so difficult!? Ahhhh

For the trip to Kenya get lots of insect spray (check for safety in pregnancy with your gp or midwife) and cover up to avoid being bitten. Take mosquito coils if not staying in an air conditioned hotel and use nets. Plenty of people do travel when pregnant it's just being prepared. As for moving, small babies don't need much space, (our flat was tiny), and contrary to what you read so often, they don't need much stuff so only move if it's about the area, you may find it's better to hold off rushing and work out where you want to be longer term once you have a new job!

It is really difficult, were having a huge revamp on finances, going through bills and how we can cut things down.

I think your first step is definitely to sort out your Kenya holiday, regarding the vaccinations etc.
And go from there.
It's one of those things if you need to prospone the move due to finances then it can't really be helped. You will get there eventually. Just not as quickly as you thought.

I have learned as a parent that things take a little bit longer to do when you have children. From cleaning to saving money. It is part of the package.
But you will land on your feet and things will start to slot into place.

You guys are just great!

So I posted on TripAdvisor (although I know they're travel biased) and basically I said I have heard contradicting information about whether Zika is a risk in Kenya.

CDC - Positive risk

WHO - Area with established competent vector (malaria mosquitos) but no known documented past or current transmission

UK GOV - Negative (refers to WHO)

However, I'd also like to point out that I attract all sorts of bug bites even in the UK and even if I dowse myself in DEET. I went to Croatia recently and I had an allergic reaction to a bite even though I was applying and reapplying DEET all day every day.

Obviously, this is something I'd discuss with the midwife but while I know risks are seemingly low, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if somehow, I became infected and caused birth defects to my own baby.

I'm so torn!

I would contact a travel clinic asap about Kenya, but from what I know anti malarial drugs are either very strong antibiotics (they made me very nauseous) or can have significant side effects; neither ideal when you're a few months pregnant, just from a feeling well point of view. You don't know yet how you'll feel but I slept through a lot of one holiday at 4 months this time around - I was exhausted. That all combined with the zika unknown, would you feel at ease going? In Japan you'll need to be a bit careful about raw fish but other than that I'd imagine it's the easier holiday!

I saw you are interviewing for other jobs - be aware you need to be in a job for a certain time to claim maternity pay ; the alternative is maternity allowance which is less. Again, combined with a possible job security issue (illegal, of course, but we all know it happens) if you join somewhere and go on leave quite quickly - are you going to feel secure. you need to weigh up the salary raise against that.

I don't mean to sound negative - it's wonderful news! Just lots of variables to think about! We moved when I was 6 months pregnant, it was fine, I didn't have to lift a single box! And nice to be in before baby rather than have it hang over our heads, moving is stressful. X

Kenya is a zika area.... I'd cancel that holiday but stick with Japan.

Cancel Kenya not worth it.

Move before the baby comes or while it’s under 3 months and still portable and small.

I would go on both, take precautions in Kenya but also read about how many people are actually affected. It reassured me when travelling to Thailand! It’s also probably the last opportunity to go on such big holidays for the next few years!

I’ve been surprised how many baby items people have given/offered me. If you are on a budget, you can actually get things quite cheap!

As far as moving goes, I would get out of the city and come up to Prestwich. We are all friendly in the suburbs! X

As someone who is currently in the process of moving house, I would say make this your main priority. It determines your future more than anything else. We started the process back in January before I was even pregnant. I'm now 32 Weeks and we still haven't moved. We found our dream house and should be exchanging in the next couple of weeks but it has taken SO much longer than I anticipated. There are also lawyer costs, survey costs etc. Also getting a mortgage on mat leave is very difficult and will massively affect what you can borrow. If you are moving into rented it will be less stressful but bear in mind you will need to get this sorted before having the baby as once you go on maternity leave, your income will be lower and you may not pass referencing.

Hey guys!

So we discussed it and I spoke to the GP this morning and have decided against Kenya. Even though it is a dream holiday and I'm aware this would be the last of its kind, I just couldn't live with myself knowing I could potentially put my very first child in danger (even if the risk is small). When I spoke to the other half, he did not hesitate to cancel for the sake of the baby. But in honour of our cancelled trip to Kenya, we will be making the baby's room safari-themed!

We are going to try to get a refund but if not maybe postpone in the future or sell our flights!

We have also decided to move before the baby is due as I agree it would be harder afterwards.

Money-wise, we know we will be able to work something out from second-hand clothes and other donations (not that I want to rely on that). I have also remembered we have a bit of money saved for Kenya that we earned through dog sitting in our spare time so we have a little nest egg for our nest and egg.

Does anybody know what app is best to use? I have downloaded Emma's Diary but I saw Bounty being advertised in the GP surgery. I also was using Natural Cycles, it has converted into 'Track Pregnancy' but I don't want to be using a lot of pregnancy apps. I love being organised but I hate clutter.

Thanks guys!

With regards to saving and having to buy baby things, I found that having a baby is as expensive as you make it really. There are loads of things you can buy second hand, and if its your first baby people with more than likely buy you stuff ie clothes etc. Babies dont need alot of stuff, as long as they have somewhere to sleep, clothes and a pram or sling and car seat