Taking a month old baby abroad opinions

[mommysharkdodo]

Not sure if this this is the right place to be posting but hoping to get some advice!

My boyfriends cousin is getting married abroad at the end of June and i have not long found out I am 12 weeks pregnant due 8th may. My boyfriend is saying we should still go as all of his family will be there and there will be plenty of people to help out with the baby etc but I'm just not sure it's a good idea!

His family are booking a villa and his mum and dad have even said they would babysit a few nights so we could go out but I'm not sure if il want to leave my baby so early on!

Also although we are obviously hoping and praying for a simple and healthy birth you never know what complications could occur to me or the baby or even after the baby is born.

It would be a 2 and a half hour flight to a very hot country for a week!

What are people's opinions?

I’ve flown with a 9 week old and it was fine, she slept the entire flight, we did the family villa thing so got to introduce to DD to all her relatives and having help was great! All in all a great holiday that we don’t regret and it was to the south of France in August so it was hot. I’d wouldn't have wanted to go anywhere for the first 6 weeks though (I had an ELCS) so perhaps consider that, and if you will have enough time to sort the passport, even if you go overdue?

It'll probably be fine but I wouldn't fancy it. I'd be stressing about it for months beforehand. You'll have to get a wriggle on registering the birth and getting a passport.

We did it- registering the birth and getting the passport was easier than I expected but I literally rang up the day I left the hospital to book in. The passport came in 3 weeks and we even had issues with them losing the first birth certificate we sent! It's especially easy if you choose to breastfeed but beware that if you go someplace warm the baby might be thirstier than normal and want to feed more (my experience).
You might be knackered but seeing as you'll have family around it might be a nice relief and give you an opportunity for a break.

I'd bear in mind it might be more likely to be a 2 or 3 week-old baby - almost everyone I know has had their first a week or two late. So that might make things tight for a passport.

I am am generally one to be optimistic about doing things with babies in tow, I did quite a lot and travelled when DD was 9 weeks old, but I wouldn't do this unless maybe it was for a very close family member event. If the baby's late, if there are any health complications it's a problem etc (for example, DD didn't feed properly for the first 10 days and I ended up having to be on a punishing expressing/feeding schedule for weeks 2-6). And although I never found the whole baby thing as onerous as some people have done, I still have to say I didn't even know which way the floor was for the first 12 weeks of either of my kids' lives! I would recommend giving this a miss, or if you do book it, be prepared to have to cancel if it's going to be too hard.

In retrospect it would have been fine with my first but no my second who was prem, NICU and then SCBU and then poorly. I don’t think the travel element is the issue. It’s thay you don’t know whether your baby will come early or late, or how well you will be. Additionally that early postnatal period can be really really tough, physically and mentally. You may just be at the stage of wanting to stay in bed with the baby, feeding and sleeping. You may only be 2 weeks postpartum, and potentially bleeding and sore and still establishing feeding and maybe even still under HV care. You may have had a section (not sure if flying so soon after a section is advisable co sidering the blood clot risk?) Of course it may be that its a breeze, easy birth, easy baby etc. But it’s an unknown.

Can you book refundable flights and make a decision after the baby comes?

I wouldn’t do it. Baby would be fine and oblivious but I would have been bleeding everywhere and making dodgy noises everytime I sat down - had a tear that took a while to heal. Plus the lack of sleep is really hard going...I would end up falling out with half the family as social filters tend to disappear on three hours sleep.

Plus there is no way I’d be leaving my tiny baby with anyone that soon.

I wouldn't, personally. First of all, as has been said, it could end up only being two to three weeks since the birth. You might have to have a section or have some other birth injuries that will still be healing. You might be still trying to establish/regular breastfeeding and surviving on very little sleep, and tiny babies are difficult to just pass to other people for any period of time.

I'm also not sure I'd feel hugely comfortable bringing such a tiny baby on a plane and then to an event with presumably quite a few people . I'm not hugely precious about stuff like this generally, but every time I go on a plane there are people coughing and sneezing all over the place, and with such a tiny baby, I'd rather avoid big groups of people in really confined spaces for the first few weeks if I can.

If you do book flights, make sure you get ones that can be easily cancelled.

I wouldn't. Just because asithers have said you could only be 2 weeks. No one could 'help you' with the baby - i suppose they could give a bottle if you are FF but baby will.be so small you will probably want to do that yourself. Plus if you have any complications etc it wouldn't be great.

Thank you all for your replies! I think I have already made my decision that I don't want to go for many reasons you have all said I just wanted to hear other people say it too and maybe it's good for my boyfriend to hear it said by other people too!

The way I think about it is I would much rather not go and regret it than go and regret it!

And yes as a pp says, I'd be nervous about the baby sharing recycled air with hundreds of passengers before immunisations.

Before the baby's had the first round of vaccinations, before you have any idea how you'll feel physically and psychologically, on a 2.5 about flight to a hot country with loads of other people around for a big occasion? God, no. And I say this as someone who did fly with a ten week old -- but after he'd been vaccinated, after I'd recovered from an infected CS scar, and stopped trying to BF when my supply never came in beyond a trickle, and had a chance to get used to being a mother.

I think you'd be putting yourself under mad amounts of pressure to commit to it now.

Not a chance before they've had all their infant immunisation etc

Check with the registry office how long it takes to get an appointment to register the birth. It has to be done in the borough in which the baby is born. Some may have longer wait list than others

In hindsight it would have been fine with my daughter (section), and I'm considering going abroad a month or so after my second is born. But I'm planning on ff, which although not problem free, doesn't have the same 'establishment period' as breastfeeding, and I can get a few full nights in to aid recovery before I go.

But although in hindsight it would have been fine, I'm not certain I would have said yes if the opportunity has arisen with my first.

I flew Sydney to London with my six week old, I would be worried about vaccinations though, not sure if they have six week ones in the UK?

It’s sounds like your DP is in for a shock when it comes to women’s post partum recovery and how much effort It is to even leave the house sometimes with a newborn.

We couldn't have got a passport in time for that. We couldn't even get an appointment to register her birth until she was just over six weeks.

You would need to take a lot of baby equipment. Travel gets easier when they can go in a stroller rather than carrycot (usually around 6 months). I'm not sure it would be much of a holiday tbh.

I wouldn't commit this far out.
The baby could be late and you'll still be bleeding at least a bit, with possible tears and bruising. And that's with a straightforward delivery. Baby will not have had any vaccinations
You will have to be really organised and get the birth certificate really quickly and then the passport application form signed off and sent.

The thought of sharing accommodation with people I didn't know so well - with all the indignities associated with being newly delivered gives me the shivers. You won't want or need 'lots of help' - you will both need to be getting to know your baby and loads of family around 24/7 will put a lot of pressure on you if you don't want to 'share'. You can see threads on here everyday about families and grandparents intruding on new parent - learn from them.

Stay home