Pregnancy making me question relationship

[upsidedown29]

Hello, I'm new here, but from what I've seen everyone looks super supportive and helpful, so here goes!

Have been with my boyfriend for 3+ years, we live together, he's great and we've been having loads of fun together recently. We'd been using the rhythm method as I'm not good on the pill, and for two years had got it spot on, tracking fertile dates and abstaining then, etc. Alas, this time we messed up, so although it wasn't a totally planned pregnancy, I was also always aware that there was a possibility this could happen, and I thought i was fine with that (I'm 29, would consider myself fairly capable, etc!)

However - since finding out the news, reality has set in, and not only am I worried about the reality of being a parent (lack of freedom to go travelling, partying etc) - but what's surprised me most is the feelings I'm now having towards my partner. Mainly - do I really want to be tied to this man FOREVER? And is this the man I saw myself having children with? I didn't really question my relationship prior to this - I thought I was really happy - but now I'm totally freaking out and feel like I feel totally different towards him.

I don't know if this is a wake-up call re: my relationship, or whether this is part of the knee-jerk reaction to finding out I'm pregnant, or - the worst of all - I'm subconsciously looking for an excuse to consider a termination.

Has anyone else ever felt like this towards someone they thought they were happy with pre-pregnancy? The reality of a lifetime of commitment setting in? I'm so confused!

Just to add - he's been really supportive about the pregnancy, and is a totally great guy in general - I'm more concerned about how my feelings towards him have changed!

Sorry - a long post for my first! Any advice would be greatly received! Thank you x

Hi upside, it’s difficult to know what’s going on but all I can say is I’m currently pregnant with my second baby and pregnancy makes me really dislike my partner! For some reason everything he does irritates me. We’ve been together for 12 years and both babies have been really tried for so it’s odd. I also have moments where I think I’ve really tied myself down now. I adore being a mum though.

I think hormones can do funny things but only you will know if you really love him. How far along are you?x

I felt similar both times of falling pregnant, I think the hormones put every possible bad scenario in my head, but it settled with both after about the 10 week mark and turned to excitement. I think because it feels so final and life changing I had a bit of a crisis, but we wouldn't change a thing, have a 4 year old and 23 weeks of with our second. Obviously it's entirely fine if you come to different conclusions, but just don't be too harsh on yourself for what you're thinking x

It sounds like you're just scared of becoming a parent and are laying that at the doorstep of your partner. If you're not ready to be a parent then have a termination but don't put the blame on your partner, who doesn't sound as if he's done anything to warrant it.

If you terminate I'd use better birth control after then the rhythm method which is I think only about 85% effective.