Hi
I'm after a bit of advice. I had a missed miscarriage at the start of the year and it took the hospital 8 weeks (3 attempts) to remove 'the pregnancy' (my baby). This was obviously very distressful and resulted with me having 10 weeks off work due to the complications. This was a horrific time for me but I tried to pull myself together and move forward which was difficult. Amazingly, I fell pregnant a couple if months later and I am now 24 weeks pregnant. I was so happy but as the pregnancy has gone on my anxiety is through the roof and I am constantly thinking about everything that could go wrong, I can't sleep due to the nightmares and I have flashbacks to the awful treatment and losing our baby at the the start of the year- they are so vivid. I plucked up the courage to see my GP and midwife and they are so supportive but I don't get the same impression from work. My boss said 'oh i think you look really well and healthy'. I probably do on the outside. I am a primary school teacher and I would find myself having these flashbacks while I was teaching the class and I would have to leave and sit in the toilet and cry. I was becoming too much and I couldn't re responsible for all of these children in such a vulnerable state and i couldn't keep the act up. I have been signed off for 4 weeks but the doctor wants to sign me off for longer until I begin some perinatal treatment with specialist midwives. I'm so worried that I will be disciplined when I return to work or that they don't believe me. Does anyone else feel like this? I am so so so so happy that I am having a baby and feel extremely lucky and grateful which why I'm struggling to control these feelings. I feel like I know how quickly things can change and I don't trust hospitals anymore because of the poor care and I'm terrified they will make or have made a mistake with my baby. I probably sound really silly when you read this back but thought I'd get it out there and see if anyone is in a similar boat and how did you overcome these fears and anxieties?