Finding out the sex in secret myself

[Hannahlouise4026]

Hello, baby number3 and I’m desperate to know the sex. We have one of each, and didn’t find out either time. This time I can’t stop thinking about it- they don’t tell you at our hospital at 20 weeks so the only way is to find out privately. A local place does it for £35. I’m past 16 weeks so can do that. Trouble is husband doesn’t want to know. Do I secretly find out and not tell him? I don’t want to ruin the surprise for him but I have a real urge to know myself

I would say it's really hard to keep it secret, a close member of my family doesnt want to know the gender but we both know, and I get so stressed about not slipping up by accident and referring to 'it' rather than 'he'!

I could have written your post myself 😂 I’m desperate to know but my DH doesn’t want to know so where is the compromise. 1 person has to be unhappy.
It is his right not to know but it is also your right to find out. You don’t need permission.
I would be honest and say you are desperate to know so tell him you are having the scan. It’s up to him if he wants to know or not. It is hard to keep it secret - we kept the fact we had a gender scan secret with DC2.
You learn to always use it/they.
For what it’s worth I have decided to respect my husbands wishes this time as he let me have the scan last time. It kills me a wee bit but I’m happy with my decision not to get one in secret.
If you are going to do it tell him and give him the option to be present or not. You will get used to using it/they - it is easy.

I kind of did this! I got a sneaky scan when I was working away from home but asked the sonographer to write the sex down. Then I told dh and opened the envelope on Skype so he could see first.
Dh didn’t object to finding out though, he just thought it was a waste of £50.

We were in same boat with one of each except I didn’t want to know and DH did.
As it turned out there was no mistaking the fact it was a boy at 21 weeks.
So that was that!

There is zero harm in doing this.
As long as you can act cool for the next few months.

I would do definitely do it. Your the one who has to go through pregnancy and all the morning sickness, aches, pains and childbirth. You deserve to know if you want to 😊

My DH knew the sex of our baby before me... but only because he delivered her! Due to my birthing position, and her being whisked off for oxygen, I didn't find out for a few mins! It seemed like eons !

I know what my 40+6 bump is! No one else does. I refer to it as it! I've got a bag full of a certain coloured clothes that I've been hiding for months!

I'm in the same predicament. Its OH birthday the week of our scan where we will find out the sex, but want to have a private scan to make sure too. I was going to have a secret private scan and wrap up a 'present' revealing the sex to give to him with his birthday presents as this will be before the NHS scan. Worried that after finding out the sex the 20 week scan will not go well and they will find issues, so I'm a bit torn as to what to do.