When is a positive a positive?

[Tazz18]

I have a line on a test but unsure. I don't want to take a digital as they've never been accurate in the past. I could see the colour start to stick as soon as I did it. And read it within minutes. It's just very faint.

Would you keep retesting? Or is one faint line and no period, been put on cyclizine enough to say yes for sure?

That looks positive to me too.

Sounds like your partner wanted you to get pregnant (partly based on your comment that you can't have children with him). However you do also hear about some people who are told that they can't have children but then do.

Whatever happens it sounds like you have some thinking to do before you speak to him.

That looks positive to me so your DP can most certainly father children. Do you think he is lying to you and wanted to get you pregnant to trap you in the relationship?

I’d say that was positive too

Do you have anyone you can talk to?

No not really. There was violence in our relationship and I said no kids till that was sorted.

Yes told me with such certainty the steriods were like a male contraceptive. So I stopped my pill as the side effects weren't great. I genuinely thought we were safe. But he admitted that he hasn't been using nearly enough. He told me this after the test as I was starting to worry and think all sorts as Google said it could be cancer. But no, I've just been having unprotected sex for 10 months. Ok I was stupid to trust him but he's all I've got.

He's happy about it. I am still in shock I think but the sickness is bringing me down to earth! Thanks for the replies. As I really feel alone right now.

Oh dear. You are pregnant to a violent man. This is not good. He may be all you have got but you would be better off with no one than a violent man and a baby.

You need to get rid of the picture the camera roll is at the bottom x

Don't get so down about it. You have options yet. Termination?

Same thing happened me I stupidly thought I couldn't have kids after having unprotected sex for years, one day fell pregnant. I terminated. Happiest decision I made and happy knowing I'll meet baby when time is right later in life.

I don't know how to delete the pic. There's nothing bad on the camera roll, panicked there. So it's ok but thanks for letting me know.

Oh op I really feel for you. There is more than one issue here and feeling dreadful with morning sickness on top is super tough.

You do have options and you do have time. You need to think of yourself first and foremost. The mention of violence in your relationship is a massive alarm bell and not something that should be ignored. Was it reported when it happened? Have you had any support at all? I would really really recommend getting in touch with a domestic abuse support service there will be some in your local area. The Freedom Programme may also be worth a look. They have online resources as do Women’s Aid.

It is harder than it may appear to someone on the outside to leave an abusive relationship/seek help and sadly most partners who are abused do not get help straight away. You will not be judged for what happened or your feelings for this man. But you do need to think about keeping you safe. Even if you can just have a phone call with a domestic abuse support line that would be a huge step and the start of opening up a support network which will hopefully help you to see this man is not your only option.

Maybe you will go ahead with the pregnancy and maybe you won’t- either is a totally valid choice but you need to be able to make that choice for you in safety and knowing that you are supported.

Be kind to yourself. Even the severe morning sickness, exhaustion etc alone is enough to make you feel very vulnerable and quite isolated. But you can get through this and help is available.

Thank you. I have a lot of thinking to do. A hell of a lot.

And no. I told my mum what happened, and went to hospital but said it was an accident etc. So there's no record of anything. We have had police out due to neighbours though.

There's obviously several alarms bells.
The violence and the steroids. Is he taking the steroids for medical reasons? You don't have to go into detail, but if not then I wouldn't be comfortable with that either.

I left an abusive relationship just after having a child and I always regret not leaving sooner. And to be honest, they can say "I will change" and "it won't happen again" till they go blue but sad thing is...not many do change and it just spirals. I was so wrapped up in him I completely lost myself and the moment I thought about my self was the moment I found strength to leave. I felt I didn't have anyone else but I did I just was blinded by him and didn't see everyone I did have there for me.

But like a pp post said, noone can judge you for your decisions. Nor can anyone tell you what to do, we can only say what we think. But if he is ever ever violent or abusive again, you need to get it reported to the police. Just so it's on record more than anything.

Update. Definitely pregnant. And I have thought it best he really decides what he wants. As I will end up with social services involved if he keeps hitting me. I'm still to bruised to even see a doctor about this. I can't have social services involvement as they'll take the baby.

I'd rather he left.

No no no, it’s you that decides what you want. Please don’t let him make any decisions for you.

There is help available. Please talk to your doctor or midwife and tell them what’s going on. And do call women’s aid. Their number is 08082000247 and they’re open 24 hours a day.

You need to leave and not give him any choice about anything! I know it's easier said than done but you need to get out now and seek help. There are so many options. You need to also contact the police. They have a lot of support for domestic abuse and they take it extremely serious.

You need to leave him. Don't give him a choice. Pack your bags and go to your mum's or a friends house. Call women's aid.

He is violent, has lied to you about the steroids and has made you believe he is all you have. He is abusing you. Please get away from him. Don't let him raise your child.

If you are bruised go to the doctors and get it documented. Go to the police. They will help you leave. Social services will help you leave. They don't take babies for no reason, and if you leave the violent man and cut contact then there is no reason to take away your baby.

That's positive

Please, please do not stay with this man if you are keeping this baby. I have seen too, too many beautiful souls broken by watching their mother be beaten, abused emotionally and constantly hurt. Please don't put a child through that. Even a tiny baby would feel the stress you feel, and it impacts their development. Please leave him, you are worth more.

Op, social services will not take your baby if you work with them or with other agencies (midwife, GP, women's aid) to get yourself away from this man. I do appreciate it is so very hard but men who are violent do not change. You need to be as strong as you can manage to be, ask for help and make a plan to leave. You are worth so, so much more than this. You deserve love not violence.

How are you getting on, OP?

OP, I hope you’re ok. Please get away from this abusive monster. You as your baby deserve so much more!

I’m sure you’ll be an amazing mum.