Considering ELCS 2nd baby / 1st birth trauma

[Shazafied]

Hi all,

Looking for advice/experiences/sport from mums who’ve been through similar please.

I have a 10 mo DD and am 3 months pregnant with DC2.

My labour with DD was extremely traumatic, after a couple of days of early labour (mild contractions, cramping, loss of mucus plug) I then had 73.5 hours of active back labour (I mean 2-3 strong contractions every 10-12 mins). Baby was back to back and had her head tilted to the side, it took 60 hours of these contractions to get to 3 cm. I was sent home 3 times over 3 days as I wasn’t 4 cm, the 3 rd time I was inconsolable as I had not slept in days and wasn’t offered any pain relief at all (aside from the 1 codeine I was given on my first visit to the birthing Centre). The 4th time I went in I was delirious and unable to stand, had not urinated in a long time (I couldn’t) and was basically lying on the floor vomiting. I was given another stretch and sweep and had my bladder emptied and “observed” for an hour (60 hours in by this point). I was then admitted as was “close enough to 4cm. This was at 6am. Through sheer exhaustion I had an epidural at 8am and was given anti emetics and drank lucozade / snoozed. Started pushing at 5pm and baby finally came out with forceps at 7.30pm. Had second degree tears. Stayed on postnatal ward for 2 days before deciding to leave (it was so loud, everyone rushed in and out of my bay, I hated it and still hadn’t slept by this stage)!

Since my baby was born I’ve had a moderate posterior prolapse (for which I am eligible for surgery) and have been unable to pass bowel movements without “splinting” (I’ll explain if people really want) and have a slight cervical and bladder prolapse too (these have all been diagnosed).

I’ve also been told I have an anterior placenta this time and am aware this can increase the chance of back to back baby...

I’m thinking more and more about the birth with utter utter fear. I don’t want my prolapses to get worse, I can just about cope the way things are currently and I know that rectocele surgery can fail.

I never thought I’d say this but considering asking for a planned c-section. I know that this is major surgery and will mean recovery, but surely it’s more predictable than the unknown / possible damage and trauma of another vaginal delivery.

I understand that I have the right to and ELCS these days ... but in practice am I going to be met with doctors who make this extremely difficult?

I’m not 100% sure I want a c-section yet, but it’s a strong option I think. I plan on raising this with my midwife at my next appointment. She is aware of my prolapsing and has said she’s referring me to gynae to “discuss how this might impact the birth” but nobody has mentioned c-section yet.

Has anyone been through similar ? I know that second babies can be a lot easier ... but what if it’s not?! Psychologically I couldn’t go through those few days again, never mind physically.

I’m not sure if this is relevant but Dd was born at 38 weeks and I’ve read that they will only plan c-sections for 39 weeks. So if I went into Labour before that there is a chance I’d be having a VB anyway (if I don’t get to hospital fast enough, right ?)

Thanks all, scared and confused !!

Sport = support !!

I’m having ELCS 2 - no arguments. The consultant said she would choose one if she could and a midwife said the same. I guess they have seen it all!
I know some places are different and depends on the individual you speak to but I would have thought you would be given a choice in your circumstances.
Natural birth is great if all goes well (we all want that!) - and recovery can be longer and more painful with a section but that depends on your birth experience.
My friend had both and recovery was the same but with “natural” birth she had thrush, urine infection, stitches and couldn’t poo without help for a year and hers was a good “natural” birth!
Planned sections are pain free (until recovery! Take the drugs!) and I personally had a great experience.

Also worth stressing I will have a 16mo when this baby arrives so I have to consider recovery from CS whilst having a toddler .... I can probably get my mum to help for a few days but DD will also want mummy x

Gosh that sounds absolutely horrific.
I'm sorry I can't offer any help but I'm in a similar position so watching with interest to see others experiences. My birth was nowhere near as awful as yours but I needed an episiotomy that split open and didn't heal properly/got infected/made sex impossible once it finally healed so I ended up having vaginal refashioning surgery about a year after the birth. Further infections and slow healing and the surgeon has said I will almost certainly need it to be done again if I have another vaginal birth. So seriously considering a C section this time. It's early days but so far my midwife has been very understanding and supportive. I do worry that I'm being a bit of a wuss though.

Thanks @kitty... have I understood correctly is this your 2nd baby? Sounds like you got lucky with your consultant ! X

Hi op I had a horrific traumatic birth with ds1, 20 years ago and it Still haunts me tbh. Anyway I had an elcs for ds2 and it was fine. When I had dd (dc3) I felt able to try for and succeeded in a vbac (and drug free!)
Ask for the section, you won’t regret it

@fields gosh a wound that didnt heal sounds horrible , so sorry. It’s so hard to know what to do isn’t it. I feel that with a CS at least I know what I’m getting, to an extent.

Yes - 2nd.
Shouldn’t matter but she was a reasonably young woman - I imagine she empathises with tearing etc! Not a laugh.
It is your right to choose these days though so go in strong if it is what you want. Raise it at your next appointment and see how you get on.
Recovery isn’t a laugh and you will ideally need help for 10-12 days after and you can’t drive for 6 weeks (although speak to your insurer as some will let you earlier). I did get an infection but antibiotics cleared that up and given the choice of fanny or sunroof I know where I would choose! However, if you go through anything like you went through before I’m sure the recovery wasn’t good then either!

@ken yes I think about the birth with horror and sadness and anger every day. The lack of control over anything that happened to me, the medieval-torture type pain, the being sent home, hysterical and on my last legs. How did you find recovery from CS when you already had a child at home?

Also, everyone, I meant to ask... I know I’ll have to stay in for a few days after a CS. Is there any way on earth to avoid being in the noisy shared post natal ward again? I can’t afford to go private fully, but perhaps there is a halfway house option eg private post natal care ? I just want my own room this time so I can rest. I have some savings and would be able to pay a bit

Yes that's my thinking too at least with a C section I should know what to expect and yes it's an operation and there are risks and I won't be able to do much for a while afterwards. The reality is that either way I'm looking at an operation and a period of being out of action (an infected vaginal wound needs quite a bit of rest and painkillers as I discovered).
I had geared myself up for a standoff with my midwife when I saw her last week but actually she took one look at my notes and said that she could understand why I might ask for a c section this time!

I was in a shared room but I think this is luck over the ward - but they do try and put sections in these. Again ask your midwife. It was tough as partners can’t stay over but the Midwife’s pass the baby. If no complications you only stay one night.

I had ELCS with number two. Best decision I ever made.

Recovery was so much easier and faster than vaginal birth.

@kitty that’s good to know ... perhaps I could cope knowing that it’s possibly only one night , and that I should have a higher chance of a room.....

@fields I think you have totally valid reasoning for an ELCS. Infected vagina sounds AWFUL and like you say, you’ll need an op either way.

I had thought I would have to stay in for 3-4 nights with a section, and honestly I’d have a nervous breakdown / kill someone on the shared ward if that happened !!

You will be high dependency the night after so will need to be close to nurses station. I was on same for night two (I was mentally quite poorly) then moved to a private room for night three then I went home but the hospital was fairly quiet. I could have gone home on the third night but it would have been an 11pm discharge and I was still having panic attacks so they kept me in just to make sure I was 100% ok at home.

@anise do you mind sharing why you requested the CS? Were you met with difficulties / dismissiveness from doctors ? X

A straight forward c section will have you in one night or two nights max depending on the time of day your elective takes place so it may not be worth dipping into savings for a private room. Also you will not have had to go through the trials of labour and the exhaustion that comes with that so you might feel a little more rested - I use that word loosely of course after having a newborn! As a previous poster stated, they tend to keep all c section mums in the same ward which should hopefully make your stay a little more comfortable too regarding noise etc.

Had an elective after birth trauma with first. Best thing! but yes do arrange help, you will need it. My eldest went to stay with grandparents for 2 nights and my partner stayed in the hospital with me (partners were allowed in side rooms) and I needed help for 10ish days whilst healing. But it was so much better to heal from and I have no long term side effects. Knowing I had it booked helped reduce my anxiety about it. I just asked, and found my consultant v helpful once he knew what had happened before.

Oh and look at different hospitals, the one I ended up in didn’t charge for a side room where partners could say. I had 6 nights on a shared ward first time and it was horrendous. This time they said I could go after one night if I wanted or could stay for a second for the pain relief (which I took).

Thanks @monster that’s all very helpful. I’ll check out local hospitals. We’re you scared before your CS? I’ve never had surgery before x

I’d never had surgery before. Just don’t think about it! Literally don’t!!
A planned section is very calm they even let you bring in your own music.
I think tearing with no pain relief sounds far worse!!!

I had an elcs 2nd time after an absolutely terrifying ordeal with my 1st which resulted in an emergency c section.

I was adamant it's what I wanted from the off and my consultant was happy to agree. Recovery was easier as I knew what to expect and it wasn't as rushed as the first. Had help for 2 weeks which was needed but it was ok considering I had a 2 year old too! X

I stayed longer with mine because of problems but I could've paid for a private room at the hos for about £125 a night

Hi what an awful experience you have had! I'm having a planned csection with my current pregnancy after a difficult labour/birth with my first ds. There was no argument at all from my consultant, Dr or midwives, in fact they all agreed that it was my choice and would probably be a safer option for both myself and baby. I've been told that if it goes to plan I'll stay in for 48 hours. I had an emergency section last time and was pretty much fully recovered after 3 weeks (1st week in hospital) and I've been told it will be much more relaxed and easier to recover this time. I'm sure after what you've been through you'll be able to make the choice.

I'm marking my place. I had an emcs with DD and am leaning heavily towards an elcs with number 2. I'm very lucky and in a trust where it's not really argued against. We had planned to relocate whilst I was pregnant and decided against it when we found out that the area I was moving to had a strict no elcs policy, which, according to the research I did and the anecdotes I found, was made very difficult to get around. So we decided to stay put for now.

I don't think I can face the long labour and being utterly powerless again. I had a two day labour after 2 hours sleep, so I was utterly delirious by the 25th hour and one of the few moments I remember was the sheer relief at overhearing the surgeon say to a colleague that forceps would be too dangerous as I was in no state to say anything by that point.

Can I just jump on and ask a question? QueenofCatan how did you find out which area had a strict not elcs policy? Only reason I ask is I had an EMCS with DS at 42 weeks after a very bad induction, and we are thinking about trying for baby number 2 but I would like to find out if my hospital will allow me to have an elcs.