Pregnant and bored

[mommysharkdodo]

Basically I am 10+2 and I feel like I am missing out on so much already!

Iv missed out on a friends birthday night away due to not being able to drink.
The plans I had for my boyfriends birthday have had to be changed because they all involved things that can't be done when pregnant.
Halloween haunted house that I was looking forward to I can no longer go.
Christmas parties won't be the same.
New Year's Eve plans cancelled
Can't enjoy a spa day due to not not being able to go in jacuzzi for long or sauna and also feeling so bloated and uncomfortable in my body atm.

When my boyfriend or friends are planning things and I can't join in it's getting me really down and I'm getting very jealous and angry about them doing these things without me.
I'm getting really p*ssed off at my boyfriend when he goes to the pub with his friends because im so jealous I can't go with mine! I can't go out for food because certain foods in restaurants make me sick.

I know this will all be worth it and I 10000% want this baby more than any of the things above but I'm just so bored and worried about loosing contact with my friends because of the lack of social things I can do!

Anyone have any recommendations of fun things I can do with my friends/boyfriend just to help pick me up a little? All I seem to be doing is going to work and going to sleep!

Just try and enjoy it. It will be over in a blink of an eye and you'll be sad if you spent 9 months resenting it.

Why couldn’t you go on a night away because you can’t drink?
While being pregnant I’ve been on holidays, girls weekends away, hen weekends, nights out... I just didn’t drink.
It isn’t forever!

When my friends go out they don't go out until 11pm when they are already drunk, I struggle to stay awake past 9 oclock 😂

Afternoon tea? I mean I can't do that because I've got gestational diabetes but you should!!!

Theatre?

City breaks?

I just went to everything that my friends did and didn't drink....so I went to the pub with them, went for dinner when I felt less sick, went out shopping, went to a comedy night. It's not the same but to be fair....it quite literally never will be. So this is a really good way of learning to sort of do things at 50% so that you're used to it when baby comes. Get your girls over for movie nights etc and a takeaway. There's still lots you can do. What had you planned for your partners birthday? Maybe we can think of something else. I was pregnant at my wedding and nobody knew apart from 3 people, if I can get through that we can get you through this haha!

Having a baby changes your life completely, and not just while you're pregnant.
You'll still be able to do the things you've mentioned once the baby is born, but not without lots of planning and support. Spur of the moment things will be difficult.
Are you SURE you're ready for this baby? Although it's too late to change your mind now.

I am definitely ready for this baby we have been trying since June last year! I just didn't realise how lonely it could make me feel!

Most of my friends are complete party animals and go out every weekend which wasn't me anyway but now I'm jealous just because I can't go! I think with everyone's plans for day drinking here and there around Christmas I'm realising my how different my Christmas will be this year, although all for good reason!

For my boyfriends birthday we were going zip trekking and tree climbing so definitely can't be doing that lol!

Also had a couples day planned to go to a theme park next weekend that I can no longer attend. I know I could go and not go on any rides but I would spend a lot of the day stood on my own waiting for them in queues etc and tbf its a long day out I would be knackered!

I am always one to have lots of plans I love having things to look forward to, now I have the biggest most exciting thing to look forward to but it seems soooo far away I just want some little things to enjoy in the lead up (make time go faster!)

Theatre is definitely a good idea, think il look into some pantos for Christmas time and Christmas markets! The extra money I would usually spend on alcohol can go on more food 😂

Haha i just realised your name! Love that. To be honest, i was 23 when I had my son and although that's not THAT young, I was the first of my friends to have a baby. I did miss out on things but I did adapt. Do they all know your pregnant? If so and they're true friends they should want to do things that can include you too :)

Frustrating about your partners birthday, that sounds like my kinda weekend haha. But don't look at it all as cancelled...just postponed. That's his birthday for next year haha. This time just go for a weekend away to just be together! Maybe a last weekend before baby gets here? My husband and I did that and it was do worth it. You do get used to not having the party life too, because that used to be Me! And now 2 years on most of my friends have babies and their lives have changed too.

All I will say is having a baby makes you realise who's there for you and who your true friends are. Where I started with about 10 "best friends" I now have about 3/4. I don't feel lost without the others, it hurts a bit but you know the ones you have a diamonds and actually are there for you and your family.

This is just one step in the learning curve. Id suggest joining a group like NCT or something later on in pregnancy so you have some Mum friends that you can do more bits with. I've mad very very close friends with one of them. And my best friend is so close with all 6 of the other mums in her group! It's not all coffee and cake, we had a Christmas party last year where the men are in charge of babies, went for an Italian and then a night out.

This is all temporary but make plans now so that you don't feel the lonlieness when you're on maternity leave xx

And if my dates are right I'm 10+3 so happy to connect and I can be someone you talk to through all of this if you want xx

Yes! I have felt exactly the same throught my entire pregnancy. It’s as if your entire life is being put on hold while you live carefully (like an 18th century monk)...even to the point of avoiding a bath that may be too hot (I like to scald myself). But strangely it gets easier the “more pregnant” you get because you start to be able to shift your entire focus on the baby with a date in mind that leads you not to care about missing out so much. I’m 8 months pregnant now and I don’t care so much about just lumping around until the baby is born haha, I just can’t wait until the big day!

Good friends will find time to do things with you that don’t require you to get plastered and roll home at 4am.

I’m guessing you are quite young and the first of your group to get pregnant? It can be hard and isolating to start feeling left out but it’ll be a lot worse when the baby is here. You will “get your life back” eventually once past the baby stage but even then you need lots of support and help and organisation to enable a Big Night Out.

Have you talked to your friends about this? It sounds like you could all do with learning how to have fun sober.

Ah I remember feeling a bit like this. Luckily it passed fast for me because my friends are older, we’re all late 20 early 30s so all of mine who don’t have children are still pretty settled, ones married, ect and I have a close friend with a 8 year old and 2 year old, known her since he oldest was 2. They put me off babies 😂😂

I do know how it feels though as I got pregnant unplanned in March, so had the hottest best summer to get through not be able to join in as much. I’m not even with father of mine. So I’m jealous of all the cute couples cuddling their bump ect.

You have so much to look forward and when you’re feeling better
You’ll enjoy it.

I felt a bit like this around 10 weeks too. I had started to get over the initial excitement and ‘oh my god yay we’re having a baby’ because it’s when my tiredness and nausea had started to kick in and generally I started to feel a little low. And I hadn’t told all my friends yet so I felt like I was just keeping myself in at home.

I’m into my second trimester now and starting to feel better again. There are many things you can still do. Last weekend we went on a little city break to York together, I’ve been to a couple of gigs/concerts, and had a couple of ‘takeaway nights’ with friends - it was no different to normal other than I couldn’t drink which didn’t bother me! If your friends know that you’re pregnant then they should suggest things to do to include you, that don’t include nights out with them getting shitfaced. If they’re not willing to do that then they’re not very good friends!

I think the end of the first trimester can be very difficult but I’m sure in a few weeks you’ll be feeling much better. To keep you occupied try and make little plans for the coming weeks to give you something to look forward to: a wander around Christmas markets, pantomimes, little shopping trips, and maybe some meals out for when you’re food aversions start to ease up xx

I felt a bit like this at the beginning. I did go out and make myself the driver which was the excuse for not drinking until we told people about the baby.

I can honestly say I don't feel like I've missed out on anything. (21 weeks)

If we go out later I just ensure I sleep before we go out. I still dance and have a good time.

Once the baby is here you may feel that way but the positive outweighs the negatives and that's the sacrifice of the new chapter in becoming parents.

HI ya mommy shark,

I hear ya! I am exactly the same as you. 10 weeks pregnant, terrible sickness and headaches and yes so bloody bored.

I used to love a drink and social whenever I could and that was my main source of stress relief. Now I can barely leave the house when I'm not working as I'm so tired and sick and feel like an alien if I attend any drinks I go to and can feel I'm boring the hell out of everyone.

I know it will be worth it all in the end but atm I honestly feel down and that's there isn't much to enjoy but I am saying to myself I'll be used to this in a few weeks time and once the sickness goes away I might be able to enjoy my life a bit more!

Good luck anyway
AC

So pleased to read that its not just me feeling left out and bored!
I'm over the moon about my pregnancy but have always had such a full social calander (that has always included wine)! its proving to be quite an adjustment

Tiredness and nausea often ease off in the second trimester so evenings out/away and restaurant trips will hopefully get easier in a few weeks.

Could you book a facial or a prenatal massage etc instead of the sauna and jaccuzi? A cinema trip?

Are you sure you can't go zip trekking and climbing? TBH I've never had a baby but the loss of physical activity would really put me off if that's true.

Ofthread you don’t have to stop physical activity when pregnant. There are certain things you can’t go when pregnant for safety reasons (TBH not sure whether climbing and zip trekking comes under that umbrella but I’d have been happy doing them in the first trimester before I actually had a bump). You don’t have to stop all things physical.
And of course you can do those things again after the baby is born.