Reassurance and support in the first trimester

[Hopex3]

Hi all,

I am new here. First one to hold my hands up and admit that I am a worrier. I just thought would make me feel at ease to discuss some of my worries with others who experienced these when they were pregnant or who are also going through these.

Worry no 1. I wish I had never gone on Google and found out this was a thing. A missed miscarriage. I always assumed I would know if this had happened (some kind of blood, pain etc.) so realistically would you probably know if something was not right - I am literally examining every little thing that leaves my body (sorry TMI). For example I am just under 6 weeks this morning and had snail like discharge - only way I can describe it. It was clear on the whole I think. Now when you look things up things are so conflicting! I just am struggling a lot atm.

Worry no 2. That I am going to get to 8 week early ultrasound on the 25th and there will be no heartbeat. I don't even know why. Or how to stop panicking so much.

So basically I am just a massive ball of panic atm for no real reason. I am just constantly on edge atm and wonder if it will pass or if there is anything I can do to calm the anxiety. Or atleast feel the comfort of others who feel similar. like I am completely aware I am probably over analysing things here. I am not asking for any diagnosis, I know all kinds of mucus/discharge/even spotting can be normal at this early stage. It is dealing with the pure panic and anxiety that has kicked in strongly in the past few days.

Thanks so much

I think we all feel the same.

There isn't a lot you can do and if you're anything like me you'll shake your way into the ultrasounds, but if you do have a heartbeat at 8 weeks your odds are very good - around 98%.

Thank you - I just can't stop panicking and over thinking, then obsessively googling stuff even though I know it will not help. Like searching for any signs. It's driving me crazy. My tests are still coming out solid - in fact they were stronger than even the control line. I know this does not mean anything for a fact but it's not even as if I have anything immediately happening to make me feel so worried. ahh I guess this all part of becoming a parent! constant worry no matter what stage you are at! Can't wait for the 8 week ultra sound hopefully some of this anxiety will ease up

@Hopex3

I, like you, am a complete worrier. Not to the point of anxiety but still worry far more than I should about everything!
Pregnancy is an incredibly worrying time for any woman, whether it's first baby or 3rd baby and every scenario in between.
I'm now in third trimester with my first baby with 9 weeks to go and still worry every day.
The best advice I can give is what my husband told me to do after I had a bleed at 5 weeks. Try and get to each little milestone and see that as a positive instead of another worry.
Get to your 8 week scan - when everything is fine - that's a milestone
Get to your 12 weeks scan - another milestone etc
I felt that once I had my 20 week scan I calmed down ever so slightly. Then I booked a 3D scan cos I was so impatient to see our little boy again.

I have to admit, I found a website that you put details in and it showed likelihood of miscarriage each day based on ages, weights etc. For some reason it helped me see the percentage going down each day.

If it helps, at your booking appointment, speak to your midwife about your panic surrounding the pregnancy. I found that even telling a health professional helped get it off my chest a little.

I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy

Another who agrees the worry is totally normal. The website that shows the MC likelihood is helpful I also found.

Have you a history of MC op? It's just you mention 8 week scan. Normally you wouldn't get that and first is twelve which I think is such a long time to wait.

Wishing you all the best.

Thanks for the reassurance - it's nice to be able to just talk about it people who understand. Although my best friend knows I think if you are not going through it it's hard to understand or sympathise. She assumes that (and I know this is realistically all you can do) is keep and eye out for blood/extreme pain etc. That's a nice way to look at it R7589 - I will try and keep a positive outlook until the 25th when I will know more. It's almost like I am setting myself up for the worst!? just to avoid being heartbroken!? either way it is not a pleasant feeling and I cannot wait to be able to enjoy the pregnancy rather than this crushing fear

hi fourpawswhite - thanks for replying. I don't, no, when I went to my GP to let them know I had had multiple positive tests they said the process had changed, or atleast at my surgery, there is no doctor, no blood tests to confirm, no urine test there as they said home pregnancy tests are as reliable now. They put you straight in for an hour with the midwife at around 8 weeks

Ah okay. So here you would get midwife at eight who would then refer you for scan at twelve. First midwife appointment here usually explains process and gets you on system etc. Other places you may get scan at eight as well.

Locally we only get scanned at 12 weeks and the 8 week appt is just an hour booking in with the midwife (mostly paperwork). That's good if they have said there will be an early scan though.

@Hopex3 I was the same, always assumed miscarriage was painful, bleeding etc but when I came on here and seen the letters MMC I was actually shocked. I hadn't ever heard of it.

I have to admit that I've already been in for reduced movements too. But as soon as I went on the monitor, he went mental!

You will find that you are definitely not the only one who worries to point it's consumes you slightly, but I promise you it does get better. I know easier said than done but it really does! Your 2 weeks till you get to see your little baba for the first time focus on that x

Thanks for replying - ahh I see, I am sure they mentioned something about an ultrasound for the heartbeat but I guess even if they don't it is something to aim for - sure midwife will have heard these kinds of fears all before and be able to assist with the anxiety side and put my mind at rest a little. to earlier reply as well - you are right 12 weeks feels like an awfully long time! Like I said I am hoping joining here will help too as I have others to discuss such worries with!

Oh my gosh I've been needing this post for weeks. This is actually my second baby and even my midwife said to me "you've had 1 healthy baby so I'm sure this will be the same" but my anxiety is literally through the roof.

I spend at least 3 hours a day googling miscarriage, mmc, stats. It's literally taking over.

I had a scan and was 6wk3 days. There was a heart beat so that settled me for about a day.....and now I keep thinking when I have my 12 week scan there won't be one.

I'm a mess! Sorry I have no advice - just to say you aren't alone and we are in this together. Xx

Babyno2mamabear - it's horrible isn't it! I really want to start feeling hopeful and looking forward to it but I just can't because every time I do I immediately think no that will jinx it/something bad is going to happen. I wasn't sure whether to mention it my GP like how consuming it was getting but I don't think they would do much - would just say to rest and to come in with any bleeding/bad pain. me too! keep checking my odds, going to the toilet constantly, doing pregnancy tests just to make sure the line is still dark, it's overwhelming! ah I'm glad to hear you had a heartbeat but completely understand the anxiety again! I imagine I will be much the same :( probably will be right until the end but it's great something like this exists so you know others are experiencing it too and not going crazy! xx

I'm 14 weeks now, but this was me, totally, until my 12 week scan (all was well).

I don't think there's a solution really - it's just a terribly stressful time!

Having now read through about 5 blogs from baby loss awareness week, I'm officially a MESS...again! Does anyone else read these things knowing it's upsetting and you really shouldn't?!

From someone with an anxiety disorder, two tips:
Tell your midwife and get it on your notes so that it's taken into account at future appointments.
Also, stop testing your wee because a darker line is not a guaranteed sign of anything except stronger wee.

It is excruciating and doesn't really end until baby is out unfortunately, but try stay off Google/ blogs etc and find something unrelated to do. It helps!

This lit sounds like me! I needed this post! I have my first midwife appointment on Friday and feel like I might burst with worry when I speak to her. Part of me thinks hearing a heartbeat will help, but I still have 4 ish weeks to wait for a scan 😪

Have a handhold!

I had a MMC in my last pregnancy which was awful and turned me into a nervous wreck for this one. It didn’t help that my age, weight, blood pressure and medical history automatically put me in the high risk category. But it does get easier as time passes (I’m now 11 weeks).

I was thrilled when I first got morning sickness because it meant I knew I was still pregnant. Then I had two days of no symptoms followed by a panic attack and a trip to the doctor. The baby was fine. Then the morning sickness came back much more strongly. It’s really knocked me off my feet but (hopefully) is coming to an end now.

I’m sure that I will find something to worry about through the whole pregnancy but I do expect the second trimester to be easier than the first.

How's everyone doing? I've just had my scan date through for the 25th, so I'm glad it isn't far away. It's not until 7.15 in the evening though so I know I will probably be being sick all day at work due to nerves. How's people's anxiety doing? I'd say some days I'm coping but most of the time I'm a mess. Seeing my friends and keeping busy is helping. But I just have a gut feeling something is wrong you know? Xx