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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Should I have a nursery?

38 replies

Izniz · 09/10/2018 20:38

I am feeling a bit down and keen to get views on what the right thing is to do. We live in a 2 bedroom house and since getting oregnant Inhave been excited about converting the guest bedroom into a magical nursery for our much anticipated little girl 👧

But it seems that everyone in my life thinks im being selfish and that I shouldnt do it. My mil says they need the room to come visit comfortably and the baby will be in our room initially in any event. Friends came over last night and basically said the same thing.

Am i being selfish wanting to make a room for a newborn? It just seems so natural to me and they do come with loads of stuff...

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SnuggyBuggy · 09/10/2018 20:40

How big is this room? Could you keep a single bed in it?

ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName · 09/10/2018 20:40

It’s your house, do what you like... but FWIW DD1 didn’t sleep in her own room until she was 2.5yrs old and DD2 was better but still wasn’t in her own room for a year. So you can probably hold fire on the painting.

SerendipityFelix · 09/10/2018 20:42

It’s your house, you do what you like! More important what your partner thinks than your in-laws or friends surely.

Baby is supposed to sleep in the same room as you for the first 6 months anyway though, I think is current guidelines?

But surely once baby is sleeping away from you the second bedroom will become their bedroom anyway.

TulipsInBloom1 · 09/10/2018 20:43

Everyone I know prepared a room for the new baby. Ok so they dont go in it for 6 months or so; and they dont give a hoot what the furniture is like or the colour of the walls.

But at the end of the day its the babys house too and if you have a bedroom available then yes at some point it should become theirs.

CherryPavlova · 09/10/2018 20:43

I can see their view but it I suspect your house. We have never bothered with a nursery as such since they stayed with us initially then weren’t in the least bothered until we decorated their room when we moved them into beds about 2 years. Then they were able to be excited about it.

TulipsInBloom1 · 09/10/2018 20:44

MIL can stay in a BnB.

Angelmiracle · 09/10/2018 20:46

Dc2s room will do away with our spare room. They will be in our room 6-12 months but after that there's no room for guests 😁 We have a small study atm currently empty we could potentially put a sofa bed into but only if we feel it's absolutely necessary!

JosellaPlayton · 09/10/2018 20:48

We have 2 bedrooms. The second is very much DD’s room, she’s slept in her own room since she was 6 months. When we have guests she does move into the travel cot in our room though and we get out the air bed for guests. It’s a fancy self inflating queen sized one but we are toying with replacing it with a sofa bed when we move next month as DD’s new room will be a bit bigger.

OhFlipMama · 09/10/2018 20:49

I can't believe someone else is dictating how you should use your own space! It's lovely that they've presumably been able to visit and sleep there in the past, but your life is changing and with it, your home. That's such a perfectly normal thing, your visitors have been fortunate to enjoy your hospitality, now it's time for them to realise your home is your home!

Di11y · 09/10/2018 20:49

If you can fit a single bed plus cot etc then that's a good plan, but tbh the last thing I wanted to Do with a 6mo us decorate and kit out the nursery (plus dd was in there from 4 months as she and dh kept waking each other up)

kayakingmum · 09/10/2018 20:49

It's your house. If you want to make a nice room for your daughter do it. I would strongly recommend having a single bed in there. My daughter was the same room as me and my partner for the first 6 months but having a separate room for her made sense. It is handy having a bed there for feeding and napping on while settling your little off to sleep and it can obviously be used for guests too.
You're not being selfish at all.

INeedNewShoes · 09/10/2018 20:52

I only got around to sorting a room for DD when she was ready to move out of my room which in our case was at 15m. Until then her room was my office so it made sense for me to have use of it as long as possible.

Despite the room being an office on the Saturday and transformed into DD's room on the Sunday (I painted one wall blue and put sea theme stickers on it) she settled instantly and understood that it was her room.

I did kind of feel like I was missing out not having the excitement of preparing the nursery while pregnant but I now think it just would have gathered dust as I wasn't ready to turf DD out until she was over a year old.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 09/10/2018 20:52

Do YOU like having guests? It should be your call.

We do, so didn't have the nursery until our first was nearly 2 and we left our 2 bed flat. We made a little baby corner in our bedroom with bunting and some nice pictures, then kept the 2nd room as an office/guest room.

Also good because it meant my mum could come and stay when our eldest was a rubbish sleeper and I was exhausted, or DH could sleep in the spare room to get a good rest and let me rest the next day

Rubyslippers7780 · 09/10/2018 20:52

Your house. Do as you like. Do consider a space for you / your partner to rest if baby has a bad night. We played musical beds for a while trying to give eachother a chunk of unbroken sleep... sod what guests want. Survival.

RockinRobinTweets · 09/10/2018 20:54

Dc1, we did a nursery.

Dc2, we put a cot in the spare room along with all the other furniture.

It is really helpful to have somewhere to sleep away from the baby. We bunked in with dc2 then went to our own room when they were old enough. Anyone not on night duty got a proper night off in their own bed.

Dc2, no overnight guests are welcome until they sleep through

SherbertLemon2011 · 09/10/2018 20:55

I would do it now because when the baby is here and say 5-6months old you will be rushed off your feet and won't have the time or energy to decorate.

Plus you will get given so many presents for your baby because people love buying tiny things that you will have somewhere to put them where they belong and not just dumped somewhere.

It's your house and presumably will be the baby's room at some point so why not make it lovely now as it is a nice way to feel like you are getting ready for the baby - nesting :-)

Fwiw my first was in their own room after about 4 months (with me sometimes on the floor but they slept through from 3 months so why not go in their own room) but my second was about 6 months (me on a sofa bed sometimes, still waiting for the them to sleep through!)

P.s. mil and guests will need to get a b and b at some point anyway or stay in the living room

Harrypotterfan1604 · 09/10/2018 21:02

Ive kept a sofa bed in the nursery, doesn’t really go but I wanted a place for my sister to stay (she’s a teenager so stays a lot). I wanted a bed rather than making her sleep on the sofa

lambdroid · 09/10/2018 21:10

We decorated but didn’t put the cot up until he moved into his room at 6ish months, and kept the sofa bed in there. We then moved that into the living room so can still have people over if we want.

Is that an option? Then you could have a spare room for the early days if you want your parents to stay over etc, but still have all the fun of the nursery.

MsSquiz · 09/10/2018 21:12

Would you want people staying over at your home while you have a tiny baby?
If it was me, I would absolutely have a nursery done and ready for the baby when they are ready to sleep in there than have guests stay over!

surreygirl1987 · 09/10/2018 21:14

Totally your choice- don't let anyone guilt you!! We have a 3 bedroom house but the smallest bedroom is the office room and we don't want to give that up. So the spare room has become our nursery. I can't see the point in having a room empty the vast majority of the time just for the occasional visitor to stay in once in a while. However, at the moment I have left the double bed up in there. It's crowded but it means that for the first few weeks I can sleep in the spare bed in the same room as the baby so my husband can get some sleep (he doesn't get paternity leave so will be working full.time and knackered). After that, we are hoping to find some sort of sofa bed so people can stay and we can still have it as the baby's room most of the time. But it's not the baby - it's all the STUFF!! Clothes, nappies, toiletries, mini bath etc... I don't know where else it would possibly go!!

Aozora13 · 09/10/2018 21:22

Didn’t even occur to me not to! We lived in a 2 bed and one room was DD’s - not just where she slept but we kept her clothes, nappies, changing table, nursing chair etc. Originally she slept in with me & DH but when he went back to work and I was bf I slept in a single bed in w DD til she was 6 mo. My DPs stayed in a local hotel when they visited.

seven201 · 09/10/2018 21:42

We decorated the nursery before dd arrived, knowing she wouldn't be in it until 6 months. She was a screamy baby who wouldn't be put down so we were really glad we weren't trying to decorate it when she was 5 1/2 months! We moved her into there at exactly 6 months. We used it to store all her stuff until she moved in too. Don't regret it at all.

Could you decorate it but leave a double bed in it for now? So it's very nearly ready? If not, sod the in-laws and friends. They can stay somewhere else!

orangejuicer · 09/10/2018 23:18

What ohflip said. Bloody ridiculous!!

Twolittlebears · 09/10/2018 23:24

I'd recommend you do it now - before your DC is born! (I didn't sort a 'nursey' and have only just managed proper decorating etc and oldest DC is now at school).

dinosaurkisses · 09/10/2018 23:38

Dd was in with us for the standard six months, but I’d put little pictures up and recarpeted etc before she was born. It meant that all the baby crap was kept in one room and I could close the door on any untidiness as well.

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