Feeling ‘left to it’ - 10 weeks first appointment

[HerbChip]

First time mum to be, located in UK.

Found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks, once I eventually got through to my doctors (to arrange appointment) I was then told I wouldn’t need one and would need to ring my local birthing centre direct to arrange appointment with midwife.

Got through to them, appointment sent through the post for 10 weeks, 2 days.

Anyone else had this? Thank god for Apps and Forums otherwise no support and guidance up until 10 weeks...kind of worrying but I guess that it’s probably due to the first weeks being ‘risky’ so they don’t want to waste time ‘just in case’ just makes me feel worse!

Anyone else felt this way? How did you cope with the long wait?

What do you want them to do? There's very little they can tell you at the booking in appointment beyond be healthy and you'll get a scan date soon.

They just take some information from you and that's about it. In years gone by most people wouldn't have been sure they were pregnant until nearer 8 weeks.

You will feel even more disappointed after the appointment no doubt .

They take bloods, ask some questions about family health, tell you what not ti eat and send you on your way.

Normal. They don't do anything until after the 12 week scan. That was my first appointment with both kids.

Yes, completely normal. I had my first appointments at 10 weeks, 10 weeks then 9 weeks respectively. There isn’t actually anything they can do before that.
The NHS website is useful for things to avoid/vitamins to take etc. Apart from that it’s just a case of wait and see. If you have any worrying symptoms like bleeding or severe pain then contact your GP or EPU.

It’s normal but I remember feeling like this you kind of expect your hand holding abit don’t you ? Ha or atleast someone to actually confirm your pregnant as it doesn’t seem real until the app starts , just look after yourself read dos and donts and you will be seeing the midwife before you know it x

I know what you mean, thank goodness for the web! I didn't find out that I was someone who would need a higher dose of folic acid until my booking in appointment, by which point it was too late to make a difference. When you phone and arrange your first appointment it would be useful if they signposted you to a useful website. Maybe a questionnaire type thing that could give you relevant info and guidance based on your answers. To start you off on the right foot.

To be honest, all being well there's nothing for the healthcare system to do in those early weeks. If you have any concerns you can go to the early pregnancy unit at your hospital. Your 10 week appointment is mostly admin anyway - form filling and medical history.

I liked the week-by-week pregnancy info on the NHS site and on MN for a sense of what was happening in there. Beyond that, it's a case of just looking after yourself and getting on with your life.

I remember feeling this way, but there's not that much medically they can be doing at this stage.

I agree that looking at early pregnancy calendars to get a sense of how your baby is developing can make it feel more real.

If you feel in need of support or guidance the MN pregnancy boards are a great resource!

It's also, quite sadly, relevant that a lot of people miscarry early in pregnancy. As harsh as it sounds, there's no point booking in every 4 week pregnancy when the chance of it not being viable remains significant. Before 8 weeks, there's little need for midwife care in a normal pregnancy.

Is there anything worrying you op? Any questions while you wait for your appointment?

I felt exactly the same! Didn't know what to do until 10 week appointment except read stuff online. That's the only reason I knew to take vit D and folic acid. I felt even a leaflet explaining things like that would have felt a bit more comforting than nothing!

I know what you mean. I'm 6 weeks today and my first appointment with the midwife will be on 7th November when I'll be 10 weeks. I bought a book called What to Expect When You're Expecting (5th edition) by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel. It's a fantastic source if information for all parents-to-be, especially for us first-time mums. I highly recommend you buy yourself a copy (you can get a 2nd hand one for around £4.85 delivered). All the best!

You are expected to have planned your pregnancy so you should be taking the vitamins particularly folic acid you need already. This leaves the NHS with nothing to do until your booking appointment. In reality if you have any of the more common genetic conditions they test for that you could pass on and you are unaware, waiting until then for blood tests is too bloody late.

That's totally normal but I remember feeling the same about being 'left to it'. In hindsight though I understand why - there's not a lot they can do at that stage and even my booking in appointment felt a bit pointless. You can get all the info you need online. Try to stick to reputable sources like the NHS website though and maybe download a pregnancy app which is nice t9 track baby's development. My doctors surgery also supplied an 'early pregnancy pack' to have a look through while waiting for the booking in appointment which was a nice idea but to be honest everything in it was common sense and/or easily available to read online! Congratulations by the way :)

Completely normal-don't worry! Booking in is usually at 10 weeks. You could take folic acid and pregnancy vitamins. There's not much else they can tell you yet. Congratulations! All the best.

It's completely normal. Take folic acid and have a look on the NHS site for food guidance.

There's not really much they can do at this stage though. Take your folic acid and wait for your appointment.

That's all form filling anyway. Try to relax.

I felt exactly the same- as it’s first pregnancy, I was shocked that no one even checked I was definitely pregnant. I understand the rationale but after getting the positive result you expect it to be more of a whirlwind!

I found that once I got given my notes by the midwife and put them in a nice folder I felt a lot better about being 'left to it'

I am 5 weeks today and called the midwife yesterday who gave me my first appointment in 5 weeks - my husband has been saying that surely I’ve to go to the doctor but from what I’ve read that’s not the case - so I know exactly how you’re feeling! Like it’s not all quite real! Has anyone any must dos in this first trimester? I’m on vitamin d and folic acid and trying to eat healthy (and no drinking)!

Multi vitamin and reduce caffeine

I felt the same. Like there should be some sort of appointment to discuss your feelings and advise you of what would happen, what you should eat or not eat, do or not do. I felt very abandoned. And it only gets worse after you give birth and apart from one 6 week checkup you’re abandoned and nobody is arsed to find out if you’re healed or still suffering.

I feel exactly the same way. Didn't see the midwife until I was 9 weeks. Assumed I was going to see her for my booking in appointment. Turned out it was basically for a quick chat and to be given a few leaflets? Bit of a waste of time if I'm honest, especially for a second time mum.

Had a letter through from the hospital last week for my booking in appointment and first scan, which will be happening on the same day. It's not until I'm 14weeks 4days. I'm 11 weeks 3days at the moment and 3 weeks seems like an eternity away! Never remember things being done so late when I was pregnant with DD? There must be a bit of a baby boom at the moment

Completely normal, I had my booking at 6 weeks and I'm under consultant care as high risk and they wont even let me see them until I'm past 12 weeks, I thought it was madness considering the health problems I have but guess we will just have to wait!

I do you op, I saw Dr at 7 weeks in absolute tears because I thought the pains means I was going to lose the baby. He kindly saw me and patiently told me it was growing pains.

I suppose if you called and said you didn't know whether to go ahead with the pregnancy or you were very young then they'd offer different support, or if you were otherwise vulnerable but there's so much information out there it's not like you're in a black hhe until yju give birth.

Good look and congratulations

I'm 28 weeks and honestly I still feel left to my own devices. Pregnancy has not been the whirlwind I thought it would be. I'm enjoying it but I'd go as far as to say the process has been somewhat boring! But that's because I've been healthy and had no issues so a boring pregnancy is a privilage. There's so much info out there to keep you going.

Now I'm in the 3rd trimester I have midwife apps and scans booked every 3 or 4 weeks so I think it's just this last bit that's the whirlwind. Try and enjoy yourself!