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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Positive pregnancy test at 49!

47 replies

Sarahr22 · 08/10/2018 12:35

In total shock - not been feeling great for a couple of weeks and felt exhausted and period 10 days late - my father died recently so thought it was still the stress from that. On a whim just bought a test in my lunchhour thinking it would just prove to me it was stress but sat here with a positive pregnancy test infront of me!!! Not sure what to think - I have a 6 year old and always felt sad that they don't have a sibling and since my father died have been craving another baby as realised how much more important being a mother is than my career etc but equally have just had a job offer for a position which would change our lives and we were about to buy a bigger house so a baby would mean all those plans would go down drain. Equally I am not sure what my partners reaction will be or whether it would be fair on a child. Totally in a mess......

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Aprilislonggone · 08/10/2018 12:37

Wow!! Very envious tbh op!! (47)
Imo take medical advice on board, and take it a day at a time.

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 08/10/2018 12:38

You can still have your career :) congratulations, that’s amazing to fall pregnant naturally at 49, how many weeks do you think you are?
Sorry to hear about your dad

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 08/10/2018 12:39

Is the career opportunity with another company? So you wouldn’t be covered for maternity leave etc?

Original poster

Sarahr22 · 08/10/2018 12:48

Think I must be about 4 weeks so I suppose at my age success of pregnancy continuing must be pretty low anyway. Yes career opp is somewhere else so would lose maternity benefits and I expect job offer would retract quickly anyway! In total shock - feel so privileged to be in this position but at same time think I would be selfish to the child to continue and they would have old parents. To be honest since my child was born 6 years ago I had always dreamt of another but it had never happened but over the last year or so I had convinced myself how lucky I am to have one child and that I was too old to conceive. My first child was born when I was 42 so have always felt an old mum anyway so not sure if this is fair to a child. Total shock xx

OP posts:

thebeautifullisette · 08/10/2018 12:52

at same time think I would be selfish to the child to continue and they would have old parents

Don't get me wrong OP, I am 100% pro-choice, but I have to point out that for the child, it's this or nothing!

I agree with april who said take medical advice on board and take it one day at a time. Give yourself some room to get over the shock! All the best to you.

SheRaTheAllPowerful · 08/10/2018 12:54

Where I live lots of the mums are much older parents, I wouldn’t let that put you off.

RNBrie · 08/10/2018 12:55

They can't retract your job offer because you are pregnant. That would be illegal.

You don't have to retract either, you can still go ahead but maybe plan for less time off or your partner to take some time off. If the job is life changing you'd be mad not to find a way to make it work.

Congratulations

SleepingStandingUp · 08/10/2018 13:01

OP when would you start your new job? You're not actually obliged to tell them for a while yet.

However def get some medical advice.

Woukd your opinion change if the child had a chrosmome disorder?

Presumably you were having unprotected sex with a partner so he doesn't get to put this all on you but ultimately only you can n make the decision

Original poster

Sarahr22 · 08/10/2018 13:10

We are still discussing final terms of the offer so I would feel a fraud not to be honest with them. Head a total mess - sitting at my desk partly wanting to cry and partly wanting to grin. After 5 years of half heartedly trying to conceive so using no protection and nothing happening I guess I thought I was too old for this to happen. Has anyone on here had a baby when they were 50?

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 08/10/2018 13:12

Well you could quite reasonably not know for a few more weeks so I wouldn't tell them yet. It would be reasonable to attribute late periods to early menopause so hold off telling anyone.
You and partner need to talk, if a disability would change your opinion totally def don't tell work until a final decision has been made.

Iusedtobecarmen · 08/10/2018 13:18

OP
congratulations !
That's wonderful
Work isn't important
Who looks back and thinks wow I worked so hard. I had a great position. Well some people do but not me!This is is a blessing!
And OP I'm 48 and have been half heartedly trying for another baby like you,on and off. Not really trying I suppose but no contraception but usually end up missing fertile days for one reason or another
I have 3 dc already. Youngest 8. I'm gonna get cracking properly!!

YetAnotherThing · 08/10/2018 13:28

Congrats. My BIL was conceived at the same age and has 20 yr age gap with next sib. His mum lived into her mid 90s (he kept her young), swimming daily and when she died he was in his late 40s. No regrets.

Original poster

Sarahr22 · 08/10/2018 13:32

Thank you all for your messages - its so helpful to read all of your thoughts whilst I am trying to get my head in gear xxxxx

OP posts:

slapmyarseandcallmemary · 08/10/2018 13:38

Congratulations

flirtygirl · 08/10/2018 13:42

Hi op congrats, I don't think it's selfish at all and a 6 year gap or 7 isn't that bad. I think your child would prefer a sibling than never having one.

This is great news and everybody can think of about what ifs, but if you are in a happy relationship and wanted a child then go ahead.
I mean what's the alternative and would you be happy with that?

TheChatsPyjamas · 08/10/2018 13:46

You don’t need to tell the employer. It’s not dishonesty, it’s life and the best way we as humans can manage to have babies and keep working. Please don’t tell them till you’ve accepted their offer.

Cantdoright1 · 08/10/2018 13:52

Omg OP what are you even thinking! This is amazing news. I would keep going as normal with all your plans and tell prospective employers once your past 12 weeks. Your so lucky and I think deep down you know your very excited about baby. I'm so chuffed for you, and a lot jealous. I'm an older mum so I know it has ramifications but this child would already have a sibling and it was totally natural so you have to give baby every chance. Good luck!

Original poster

Sarahr22 · 08/10/2018 15:15

Thank you all. Just so much spinning around my head :0( xxxx

OP posts:

Annasgirl · 08/10/2018 15:24

Congrats OP. I had a baby at 43 after TTC for 5 years. It was DC no 3. At the time I was in shock as I was about to return to a career after a break. It was the best thing that ever happened to us all and DS is amazing. Also, I am now retraining in another career and nearly there.

There will be other job opportunities but you will never get another chance to be pregnant - I reckon(!) (but I could be wrong). But equally you could decide to take the job too - I took a huge promotion just before my maternity leave with DC1.

Take your time, discuss with your DH (mine was thrilled, whereas I was happy but ambiguous) and also don't get too excited until week 12 or 13 when you know all is well and you are past the very high risk stage.

Finally, it has been proven that women who conceive naturally in their 40's live longer and healthier - nature doesn't let you conceive if you are not going to be around to raise this baby.

Louise2111 · 08/10/2018 15:28

Hi ladies,I'm new too this. Done a pregnancy test earlier and I have a positive test line but no control line. Anyone experiencd this? Not sure how to post a pic or I would. Thanks

Pennina · 08/10/2018 15:30

How wonderful! Congratulations! (I know someone who conceived naturally, a successful pregnancy and also returned to her career (The pregnancy was something of a surprise) after - at 52!

ZebraTango · 08/10/2018 15:40

wow! It could be a sign from your dad :)

mayhew · 08/10/2018 15:43

I've been a midwife for 30 years. I've had 4 clients who have had spontaneous pregnancies after 50. One had a miscarriage at 48 and a healthy baby two years later.

SleepingStandingUp · 08/10/2018 19:23

Louise2111 you need to retest, it hasn't worked

Iusedtobecarmen · 08/10/2018 23:06

mayhew
I'm a midwife too. I've seen one aged 50 conceived naturally
A couple of 47's and quite a few 45s. In fact,45 yr olds not that unusual.
OP you are blessed

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