Can I have sex or is it weird as single pregnant woman?

[Poppylizzyrose]

Okay wasn’t sure where to post this!

I’ll dive right in and explain, I’ve posted about my past before but in nut shell- I’m pregnant didn’t think I could be (happy surprise) was only briefly dating the father he’s over the moon but I have no interest in being with him.

Baby wasn’t planned, I’d left the Dad for someone else but when I found out I ended that. Anyway the someone else is back from traveling, he doesn’t care that I’m pregnant and we’ve been out for dinner ect and remained in contact.

I am I think quite possibly the horniest person living, I feel embarrassed about it as tmi I never used to watch porn as it’s little raw for me but now I do. However I don’t know if I could go through with actual sex or what I’d do, I wonder if it’s wrong as the someone isn’t her dad. I considered her dad but it would be playing with his emotions and giving him mixed signals as he’s caught feelings i in no way share.

The someone is coming over Sunday, he’s offered to build cotbed and my changer for me. I joked I miss his back rubs and he flirted saying he could rub more than that. In a twist I know he’s seeing girl he was seeing befor he went traveling ( its casual) as he had encounters abroad. I wouldn’t want to be other woman though, I’m 31 weeks and I’m not anyone’s side chick! But then I think I do not want to marry this guy who smokes does recreational drugs; so where’s harm in fun. But I feel mixed up because my daughters here! I’ve already slept with him while pregnant but I didn’t know then I do now.. I miss cuddles and we’d snuggle up in bed watching films; sometimes I feel so lonely I don’t know what’s best gah gah

Aww thanks everyone I feel so much better, my main issue was it is wrong as he isn’t the father.
I’m not sure whether i’ll Go through with it and there isn’t any pressure from him, we’ve seen each other during my pregnancy, had meals and he’s seems like a genuine friend too. He’s the sort of free love hippie like guy from the 60s, not a horrible bloke. I think he comes across really badly but I don’t see him like that.
He has just offered himself up saying he’s there. During early pregnancy I didn’t feel urges I do now. Sometimes I swear I could grab anyone!! (Know it’s hormones)

He’s sweetly said he’s buying something for my daughter and he’s going to build the furniture for me. He isn’t future bf or husband material because of his life style though.

I shall let you know what happens. It might just be a back rub and tv, that’s what I crave too. X

He sounds like a bellend. How gracious of him to offer to fuck the poor horny pregnant women. Urgh.

If you want my honest opinion op I think you need to put your ‘horny’ feelings aside and concentrate on stabilising your life right now, for your baby’s sake if not your own. It sounds like too much drama to me. Perhaps just buy a vibrator?

kmreeve thanks yeah that’s what I want. Just didn’t think I’d be this way!

I’ve got this far though without, (I have been bit of a sex pest in past relationships, always had massively high drive) my friends have commented on it.
Said they’d never believe it of me it’s not something I admit, but this is longest I’ve gone without in 8 years. Haven’t got a long list of different men but I had casual friends between relationships before so this isn’t usual for me.

Only you can answer the deeper questions relating to emotions and long term wants/needs.

However, if you are both consenting and you are protecting yourself (using condoms and clear sexual health screens) then I don’t see the problem, if it is just a sexual itch you need to scratch. It is no-one else’s business. You’ve no need to feel guilty or judged because he isn’t the child’s father.

Practice safe sex & do whatever you like with your own vagina!

I think he sounds ghastly, and I wouldn’t, but because of the ghastliness, not for any No FWB while pregnant ‘rule’.

I think generally it's fine, but he's been abroad as a single man and is seeing someone else and has had five previous unplanned pregnancies with various women, so obviously isn't back fan of safe sex. He could have all sorts, I wouldn't risk it with him.

Isn't it clear to you OP, you're in a bit of a fragile state. Have safe sex with someone lovely instead and see where it leads.

Go for it!
It's about time people stopped associating sex with any kind of shame.

I was single with my first and had absolutely no issue with dating. I met someone at the time, so yes, I had sex with someone while I carried another man's baby. I really don't understand the issue some have.

Personally, I get pretty randy while pregnant. I'd have been miserable if I'd denied myself a sexual relationship based on made up morals.

It's nothing to do with morals and shame - I have assumed from RTFT OP doesn't want sex she wants love and cuddles and this man isn't good enough for her.

No issues in principle with this but he sounds awful. You could potentially be opening yourself up to a load of drama just when you need it least.

It's not about morals for me either, with a different chap I'd be saying go for it. This one seems like a health risk. Who shouts 'not another one' when their semi partner finds out they're pregnant and he thinks it's his? That also suggests they were having unprotected sex before and he seems to do that a lot with different people to have had so many previous un planned pregnancies with other women.

@Pepper123123 it's not about morals but if you read the OP's responses about this particular man he sounds terrible.

Someone who was respectful yes, this man doesn't sound it. At all.

I wouldn't want anything to do with a man who was so careless about women that he'd impregnated five and thought he'd got you pregnant, too. He sounds fucking horrible and yes, he wants to shag you, but that doesn't mean it would be a great idea.

Thanks for all your responses! appreciate replies.

Well update, I doubt he’s coming today, I’ve been tidying and sorting and I told him there isn’t space to build in babies room as it needs clearing and sorting.

He has said he’s free this week (usually works away on electrical contracts) so will see if he rescheduled but I’m sticking to friendship. I’ve only got two months to go until my body is my own, think I’d rather wait and meet the right person.
Reading replies on here and talking to a friend in real life has made me think.

She said,
“Oh I asked Amy if she knew him as she used to live that end. First thing she said is he’s a druggie who shags loads of different girls, I didn’t even say his surname only first and she knew him straight away said she hung around him before she was a mum and that she did drugs with him”
Now I knew he’d done drugs and I wasn’t wholly bothered (I’m not completely innocent myself, and I hold my hands up) but I did think it was only social occasional thing.

I just think I’d be making a mistake associating romantically with anyone like him.
Even though I think he’s kind enough to people doesn’t lie and has a hippie way about him. He’s not for me and my daughter.

(If any of this changes and I end up screwing up I will let you guys know. But I’m pretty set it’s a no no)

P.s obviously in case anyone now thinks I’m terrible for doing drugs. I haven’t smoked, touched a drop of wine or any drugs, since discovering I was pregnant, and luckily I hadn’t had any while pregnant. I’m just not a hypocrite, I have done them in the past.

Good for you OP. You seem lovely and have every right to a good seeing to and after cuddles with whoever you like, but I think you can do better than this guy.

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy!

Yeah, good decision. If you have any doubts about someone at all, then don't do it. I'll tell you now that this feeling of loneliness is only temporary. I was a 27 year old single mum of 3 when I met my partner. I always thought no one would want me as me and my kids come as a package, so I always "settled".
But after having enough of men not up to scratch, I gave dating a miss and it was during that time I met the love of my life. We are now married and I have another child with him and couldn't be happier. He is the type of man I always wanted but thought I would never find.
So just give it time, and there's no need to rush into anything you're not sure of.

I’ve had bad experiences and I do put people on a peddlestool for being slightly nice to me him offering to build things and having took me out for meals made me think he was this lovely man.

He isn’t horrible, he makes an okay friend but he isn’t good enough for US.

Thanks for giving me hope, I really want to meet right person one day.
I’d love more children too, if they were with the right person. Being pregnant and single is one of the hardest loneliest things I’ve had to go through but I can’t wait to meet her!

Can't you just wait 9 weeks?

Can't you just wait 9 weeks?

Yeah, because the post-partum period is well known for being such a shag fest

I’d be too concerned about catching an STI given his recent behaviour

bluewidow I’m no expert but I don’t see sex happening soon as she is born lol. I have waited months already so few more won’t hurt. It’s my raging hormones that are the issue...anyway I’ve resigned myself at the min.