When does husband call work?

[SophieStripe]

I'm 27 weeks and starting to think about actually the practicalities of giving birth! Something I have been thinking about is when does my partner can work to say 'okay, I'm on paternity leave'? (he has filled in paperwork and all that so they know its coming). But let's say I think im going into labour we go to hospital and then a few hours later they send me home. I would want him to come with me at that point and preferably stay with me during the early labour stages but what if that takes days?! Do women tend to just get through it solo until it really is the time? And what happens if it still takes a couple of days after hospital keeps you in? With only two weeks paternity I don't want him to "waste" days before baby is even born!

It wouldn't be a waste though - he'd be there supporting you.

No... But if I don't really need him there, more of a nice to have, it would be! It could be a week between thinking it had started to baby actually arriving and I'd much rather he have that week with me and baby. I have read online that paternity can only start from day baby is born so was wondering what others had done for the before 1, 2, 3 days. I'm sure his work will actually just be flexible but just wanted to hear some real experiences

DP told work my due date but basically told them he would take paternity from the day our son was born. He was just on standby. I was due to be induced at day 12 over so he took it off...and my induction got cancelled. He took that day as unpaid dependants leave.

Has he got any holiday saved or due to have that he can maybe have?

Or is a day or two unpaid leave suitable at all?

For me, I drove to hospital with my bags for my Inductio on a Friday morning after the school run with DS1. The plan was to start induction then OH would rock up about 4/5.
If I had spontaneous labour he would call in when I really needed someone around, not when my waters broke with no labour or I was contracting irregularly. I prep’d DS1 on what to expect if I went in to labour or was early labouring at home alone with him

Everyone is different though.

My oh doesn't qualify for paternity leave so he's only been offered 2 days off... I'm definitely going to labour at home until I feel I need him!! It's your call I guess - would you prefer him there for the whole labour or for longer after. If my oh had 2 weeks I'd probably say labour but only when I was sure it was proper established labour - I wouldn't want to call him home to sit around for 48 hours!!

Do it however you like! Don't worry about how other people do.

You may find you'll need his support and attendance more than you think right now, particularly (IN THE EXTREMELY UNLIKELY CASE DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT) if it's a long or at all complicated birth. You'll need someone to go fetch things for you - magazines, snackage, fresh clothes, nurses - or just straight up emotional support and being there.

He should prep his work that he may need to take emergency holiday to be with you, just before the paternity leave kicks in. Since no-one knows what day PL is going to start anyway, it should be perfectly fine.

Thanks for a the responses! We will absolutely do what is right for us but I just wanted to get an understanding on what kinds of things might be "normal". 2 days paternity leave, that's tough! It really should be a legal right of everyone but that's another conversation. My husbands work is very good and flexible with him so I don't think it will actually be an issue at all and I'm worrying for no reason. He paternity leave starts officially the day baby is born and he has told work that and expected date of arrival. If he is actually home/in hospital with me for a couple of days before that I don't think it will be an issue and he can take it unpaid if it actually is an issue. He is planning on taking 2 weeks unpaid anyway to extend paternity to a month so what's a couple extra days! 😂 I think I am worrying unnecessarily. But even with his work being flexible, when did u all say to your partners 'okay this really is it now, come home' for those that went into labour spontaneously. I have read a lot on here with people reporting signs of labour and contractions for up to a week until things actually started moving. It's that bit I think I am unsure of!